#aiofhan

ok i was twelve and an idiot

i told my mom that i joined an after-school extracurricular club that was dedicated to “cleaning up” the internet and i was tasked with gathering “samples” of the filth that plagued the web so rly this was for the greater good and i fibbed here i rly took a chance and hoped she didn’t call my bluff but i was like “you can call my homeroom teacher if you want. he leads this thing. it’s all legit pls dont ground me”

and it wasn’t even the good lemons (lol “”lemons”” what kinda ancient ass relic…) she found. one of them was like some pregnancy/elevator sex kink robstar travesty where starfire and robin decided to bang because they were bored? and their elevator got stuck and robin was carrying her the entire time (which in hindsight might have been physically impossible or at the very least, highly uncomfortable bc she was 8-months pregnant and carrying twins). i remember one of the lines being, “he stuck his rod inside her thing and pushed” (quality lbr)

i see this following more or less with canon just with this added concept. as to how this works, soulmates when they meet for the first time gradually start getting flashbacks or dreams about their past life together. memories are triggered with events that parallel or strongly remind them of similar events that happened in the past.

some exposition: ok the special thing about rin and haru is that they’re the first zodiac members and the first of their lives to ever unlock memories about someone who is not the god-spirit (or akito in this case). their past selves did love each other but never ended up together because they were fated for god. the sheer fact that in this life, they’re each other’s soulmate is one of those signs that the curse is wavering.

the first time rin and haru meet they don’t realize they’re dreaming about each other bc the memories are so vague. as well as the fact that as kids, they don’t fully understand the gravity of what’s happening and think that seeing these bits of the past is just a normal byproduct of being a cursed sohma. 

the first time rin gets a vivid flashback and realizes that it’s haru that she’s dreaming about is when she falls unconscious and haru finds her. of course this is also the same time rin’s parents officially abandon her and when haru comes to her defense.

rin never tells haru that it’s him she’s dreaming about. haru never says anything either so she’s always doubting that maybe all of this is one-sided and that she’s just a freak of nature for not dreaming about akito instead.

as they grow up, she and haru become close friends and rin accepts the reality that that’s all they’ll ever be. 

that is until haru says otherwise. 

“I dream about you sometimes.”

(also added note that he probably confesses just after his growth spurt. he told himself he wouldn’t do it until he had a good two inches on her hahaha)

the only deviation here is that rin is even more terrified of akito than she already is in canon. she tells haru that the soulmate bond is not mutual and that she doesn’t dream about him at all. the reason for this is that it’d be one thing for akito to find out they’d been dating behind her back but it’d be another for her to find out that haru and rin are soulmates (which is a fact that diminishes akito’s existence as god). akito might have very well done a bit more than push rin out of a window if that were the case. 

haru is understandably a little heartbroken over this fact but at the end of the day he doesn’t care about what the past says or what’s been established by fate. even if he might not be rin’s soulmate, it doesn’t matter to him. all he cares about is whether she loves him, and that's something even rin can't deny at this point.

as with canon, akito does find out (but only that they’re dating), leading to rin’s fall and her breaking up with haru. after the incident with ren, rin is locked in confinement until kureno helps break her free. she’s hospitalized again and tries to escape.

haru finds her collapsed on the ground, just as he did when they were children. rin hallucinates a past memory just as she’s falling unconscious and says something that she’d said to him in a past life. haru realizes that she lied about before.

the ending would be rin waking up to see haru at her bedside. 

“I dreamt about you.”

“I know.”

and since we’re following canon, we already know that it’s going to be a happy ending c:

26. broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

The silence was suffocating.

Everything was moving too fast, all blurring in her vision like the world had picked up speed while she was still stuck in place. No one said anything, the crowd remaining silent as it rushed past her. She opened her mouth to speak, found no words as she searched, lost and mute in the middle of a sea of strangers. Her eyes flew left and right, searching and searching.

Until there.

He was walking away, his back turned. It could have been someone else, but it was as if she knew. Because of course she did.

She would know him to the ends of the earth.

She picked up her feet as if magnetized to his path. He was moving farther and farther away no matter how much she tried to catch up. She wanted to tell him to wait. But her mouth opened again and the words sat at the back of her throat, unwilling to come out. Tears of frustration pricked at the corner of her eyes.

She ran. Ran until she could no longer tell if they were moving at all.

Then finally –

She grasped his sleeve with desperate fingers, barely in her hold as she dropped to her knees and found her breath at last.

“H-Haru…Haru, Haru,” she said his name, repeated it like a prayer. “Haru, don’t go. Please, look at me.”

She stared up, waited. But just as he turned around, she was thrown into consciousness, breath heaving out of her as she tried to make sense of her surroundings.

It had been a dream.

Nothing more.

With shaky desperation, she found her sweaty hands already on her phone, trying to find its way back to him. But before she could press the final number, she angrily bit down a sob and threw it across the room. The thing clattered and the silence after settled around her for company.

This was her doing.

She hugged her knees to her chest, holding them tight and stiff as she repeated the mantra she’d gotten to know quite well.

This was for the best.

The phone’s lights dimmed leaving her to darkness again.

This was her penance.

She started this. She started this, and she would see it to its end even if it killed her every night to do so.

33) Are you interested in having your work published?

definitely. this world needs more filipina voices even if it happens to be mine.

49) If you could write a collaboration with another author, who would it be and what would you write about?

"in his one big fanfic" i'm screaming omg

ah well gurl u know as bill shakes said all the world’s a stage and we are just god’s puppets to use for his bad headcanons trufax

ackermens replied to your post “why dont you like soul mates or ouat? :(”

i have a love and hate relationship with ouat tbh like the true love thing pisses me off bc is like oh you guys r true love and theyre all like OH OKAY YAY WE'RE TRUE LOVE and yah the mulora thing and the writing is just sloppy a lot of times

ackermens replied to your post “why dont you like soul mates or ouat? :(”

but i keep up with it anyways bc i liked captain swan bc it was the only slowly developed relationship out of all the canon ones and the fact that they film in my city and i like to watch them film lol

like im going to be fair ouat gets a lot of stuff right (the relationship between women, blood family or not, mother-daughter, etc.) more than other shows do and plot-wise it’s not as bad?? as i make it out to be

i stopped beginning of s3 so i rly can’t say anything of what happened afterwards but i’m glad they got something right with captain swan esp since u enjoy it ~

ouat’s just one of my past fandoms where i gave it way too much credit than it deserved and so when it disappointed me it really disappointed me -- more so than it would have had i set my expectations in a more realistic light

bc i think i was expecting a modern au of fairytales where it slowly becomes a subversion of ur typical tropes (like the one they did with red! where she was actually the wolf the entire time?? that was class act) and reveal a little maybe realistic/darker side to fairytales -- like they do in fables/the wolf among us, that’s a great series btw highly rec it to everyone -- and while they did some of that, it didn’t really match my expectations which is tbf my fault for expecting an abc show to push the boundaries in the way i wanted