#aidenjames

As the flames ravaged at the structure of Baxter Industries, the possibility of survivors became that much smaller and hope was even more distant. Buildings that had survived the blasts of many tests were now crumpling into burnt debris in ash, and a legacy was nothing more than smoke in the wind. The walls of the compound were the only thing that stood, blocking the fire from the thick surrounding wilderness. On one side, a single grunt was heard - exhausted and pain-stricken; before a shrouded figure fell onto the hardened dirt on the forest-side - safe from the flames albeit momentarily. Aiden fell against the wall and attempted to catch his breath, heaving heavy pants as he finally filled his smoke-tainted lungs with fresh air. His eyes clenched shut as he fought through pain and exhaustion; a pain rattled “fuuuuck” escaping him through clenched teeth as he pulled himself to the feet, dragging his back against the brick wall. He sat there for a moment, contemplating his next move before the sounds of a horses footfalls against the stone road nearby caused him to silence himself. A woman riding her steed, panicked as she made her way closer to the burning compound with a single torch in hand to illuminate her path.  Wilder. Not today, lass. I’m sorry.

He peered left and right, attempting to find anyone else who may stop him. With a fist bracing his injured arm, he shuffled into the forest with a lowered head and a revolver gripped tightly in his hand - disappearing into the shadows.

They will think I’m dead, but I must do what needs to be done. I will return.

I hope.

Only a few more miles to the ocean where he had a boat waiting, ready to sail him to Kul Tiras so that his manhunt could begin.

“Out with the old and in with the new. Life sure is grand.”

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Light mentions

​​A year ago today, I woke up and knew instantly that something was not right. I had slept through the night for the first time in many months of the pregnancy and knew that meant Aiden hadn’t been moving around, keeping me awake. I can still feel that exact same feeling of panic in the pit of my stomach today. The feeling of disbelief when an hour later we were at the hospital and the nurse was trying to locate a heartbeat but had no such luck. This day will forever be a dark day for Brad and I. 

As we went home to prepare for my hospital stay, I remember just laying in bed in Brad’s arms crying, praying and waiting for the inevitable moment we would return to the hospital. We returned that night where they began the process of inducing me. It was the longest 24 hours of my life that ended in the delivery of our sweet, but lifeless, baby boy. 

With the anniversary of Aiden's birth upon us, I find it fitting that God placed a particular bible study in my hands at the perfect time. I have begun Lisa Harper's study of Job. In the book of Job, we are introduced to an upright man who God allows Satan to attack by taking everything important from him. Yet, Job remains faithful to God in midst of his pain. This story is illustrative of God's sovereignty and faithfulness during times of suffering. In the first video session, Lisa Harper introduces a woman who delivered stillborn twins and I instantly knew God has placed this study in my life for a reason. I don't think that this is a study I could have done a year ago but I can see that God's healing process is one with no time limits.

As Aiden’s birthday rolls around tomorrow, I’m so thankful and blessed to have such supportive friends and family. The texts, phone calls, and gifts that I’ve received have been a wonderful memory of the fact that Aiden was here and that we will get to see him again some day, and for the rest of eternity. Though the pain will remain until God calls me home, I’m comforted that with it I’ve experienced a glimpse of motherhood and a love that surpasses the feeling of that pain.