Hi, I don’t know if you take requests but I’d love to see your take on Dean after Michael is gone? I really love your fic Your Ocean Eyes btw!
Omg this is the first one I’ve ever gotten, but I do take requests/prompts etc. so thank you so much for your ask! I have so many thoughts on Dean after Michael, but here is a little bit of angst that turns into fluff! I hope you like it, anon! x
After they banish Michael and he’s free again, Dean throws himself into hunting with a new kind of fervour that exhausts Sam, worries Castiel, and confuses Jack.
They’re always on the road, because Dean always has a new case for them to work. It’s fine in the beginning, they know he’s just trying to distract himself. They let him find case after case, let him push them to the brink of collapse – because it’s just what Dean does to deal with things and at least he’s not drinking.
Cas reports that he isn’t sleeping either, though. That he spends all night tossing and turning in bed until he gives up on sleep and goes to clean his guns.
Sam decides to speak to him about it. “How about we take a week off, huh? Take Jack to see the ocean or something, we’re all pretty tired.”
Dean looks at him with bloodshot eyes and shakes his head. “No can do, Sammy. There’s a case in Washington – vamp nest – I need to go take care of it. You guys can stay here though, I know you’ve been working really hard lately.”
Sam sighs. “So have you Dean, I really think you need a break.”
Dean brushes him off. “I’m fine Sam, don’t get your fucking panties in a twist about nothing!”
Sam does decide to stay home with Jack, but he gets Cas to go with his brother.
They drive with the music blasting and neither of them speaking. Cas observes how Dean will switch route a lot, refusing to stick to the simple interstate highways, or backroads for any length of time. That night, when they stop in a dingy motel in Wyoming, Cas doesn’t say anything when Dean paints warding symbols all over the room. Doesn’t say anything when he gets out of bed four times to check the weapons he has hidden. Doesn’t say anything when he presses his face to Cas neck and holds on so tight that if Cas were human there would be bruises.
He doesn’t say anything when they find the vampires and Cas easily takes out three of them, but Dean takes a long time taking out the fourth. He does say something though when Dean spends twenty minutes beating the crap out of the last vampire, with a sort of violence that Cas hasn’t seen since he had the Mark of Cain.
“Dean.”, he calls, but the hunter ignores him. He takes a step closer, Dean’s fists still relentlessly pummelling the vampire. “Dean, stop!”
Dean shows no sign that he’s heard him, but Castiel is still an angel after all so he just grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him off the vamp, dispatching it with a quick swing of his machete.
“What the hell, man?”, Dean spits, shrugging off Cas’ grip on him.
Cas glares at him. “No. What the hell is going on with you, Dean? That isn’t how we do things. I know the last weeks have been hard for you, but –“
“You have no idea how hard the last weeks have been for me!”, Dean yells. “You have no idea what it was like for me in there, watching him use my hands to – to kill! I had no control over my own body Cas!” He looks slightly deranged, standing there with his face contorted with rage and blood all over his hands. But Cas can see past all that, see the absolute bone-deep fear that is driving Dean.
He steps closer to the hunter, cupping his face with one hand. Dean looks like he wants to pull away, but doesn’t. “I do know what it is like, Dean. So does Sam for that matter. We have all made the decision to let someone like Michael take over and I know how it hurts to give up power over your own body. I know that you’re afraid he’ll come back and take the power away again, I know that’s why you don’t sleep, why you’re always moving – but you can’t sustain it Dean. You’re hurting yourself, ol hoath.”
Dean looks torn between crying and punching something, but when Cas pulls him close the decision is made for him. He cries into Cas’ neck, as the angel strokes his hair and murmurs words of reassurance into his ear.
“We won’t let him take you again, Dean. I promise, I’d die before I let that happen. But you need to trust us and you need to start looking after yourself again.”
Dean nods, sniffling wetly into Cas’ collar and the angel tightens his arms around the hunter’s waist.
Eventually he pulls away and wipes his face with the sleeve of his jacket. He clears his throat in a ridiculous attempt to pretend that he hadn’t just been crying and then smiles at Cas. “Um, sorry about that.”
Cas rolls his eyes. “You’re an idiot, Dean Winchester. Now we’re going back to the motel and you’re going to sleep.” Dean looks like he wants to protest, but Cas raises an eyebrow and points him in the direction of the Impala. “Oh and I’m driving, so don’t even think about getting behind that wheel. And when we’re back at the Bunker you’ll apologise to your brother.”
“Jesus, you’re bossy.”, Dean grumbles, but when they’re back in the motel, wrapped around each other under the scratchy covers, he presses a kiss to Cas’ cheek and whispers: “Thank you.”
