#ahappyphil

Dan was antsy. He’d read the magazine three times already, each time failing to really absorb anything, and was working on a fourth time through. He’d tried looking out the window, which, although entertaining with the trees and roads and houses whizzing past, wasn’t really distracting enough to wave away the ants that came with the nervousness and excitement (anticipation). And he’d tried using his phone, but there wasn’t much he wanted to do with it other than message Phil. It was still another half hour until the buzzing feeling could be satisfied and he could meet Phil.

Dan had lost his pen earlier when he had decided to doodle on the Kerrang and he’d drawn too energetic of a circle and it spun away under a seat, so that was out along with the page upon which there was sketched a slightly smudged half-finished evil Mario covering up most of the text.

He had to give up on the magazine. If third time wasn’t the charm, fourth time wasn’t going to be, so he fished out his earbuds for what he figured was going to be the longest thirty minutes of his life.

---

Phil was bouncing on the balls of his feet, watching the train pull into the station with a barely bridled mix of excitement and nervousness. As it slid to a stop, he watched the doors for Dan. The doors opened achingly slow and people disembarked achingly slow and he scanned the crowd and finally there he was. Dan, seen not through a grainy webcam or slightly less grainy photos but through the clarity of real life, his head raised to see over the people to find Phil.

Bees struggled to erupt from Phil’s stomach Alien-style and propelled him towards Dan and buzzed out of his mouth in a bee shout of “Dan!”

Dan turned towards him, his face lighting up. And then they were running to bridge the last fifteen feet between them and their arms were around each other and Dan’s magazine had flown out of his bag and was on the floor next to his feet and Phil was laughing, giddy with excitement.

“You’re even more amazing in real life,” Dan was saying into Phil’s ear, pressed against him, and Phil, pressed against him, was saying, “I swear your smile’s lighting up the room right now it’s so bright.”

They let go, the bees in Phil’s stomach buzzing around in his head and making him lightheaded. The smile was stuck on his face.

“I can touch you and you’re real,” Dan said.

“No, I’m a ghost,” Phil said.

Dan shoved him, still beaming. “You’re cute.”

---

The line for the big wheel was no longer than usual but seemed like it was, and while they stood in line the bees in Phil’s stomach tried to make him go eight directions at once but definitely not stand still. Dan was looking up at the top of the wheel, his mouth slightly open and his hair falling across his forehead. Phil could only look at him, at his soft brown eyes that crinkled when he smiled, and Phil hoped Dan knew Phil liked him, because Phil couldn’t really tell him himself.

“Hey, Dan?” he asked.

Dan looked at him, and damn if he didn’t want to see Dan look at him glowing like that every day.

Phil hadn’t had anything to say, so he just made an animal sound and swatted at Dan’s arm.

Dan laughed. “What kind of animal was that?”

“Double horse.”

“Of course.”

“Horse, of course.”

“Shut up.”

The cabin on the wheel swung lightly as it ascended, the view growing wider and wider between jerky stops for others to board. Halfway up, Phil’s hand found Dan’s on the seat between them and scuttled around for a moment before taking hold. Phil kept looking out the window, but he could feel Dan’s smile illuminate the cabin with its soft light.

As they ascended a second time, Phil pointed out landmarks in the city beyond the glass.

Dan’s eyes were on him instead of the places he pointed out, so it wasn’t really a surprise when he interrupted with a “Phil?”

Phil turned to him. Dan put his hand on Phil’s knee and leaned in and Phil’s eyes fluttered closed and Dan’s lips met his and oh was Dan just who he wanted to be doing this with.

Finally, Dan pulled away and Phil opened his eyes to a slightly flushed face smiling back at him. Phil knew he was smiling too; he couldn’t help it.

“You’re so beautiful,” Phil told Dan, his voice whisper-quiet even though it was only the two of them in the car.

“You’re more,” Dan whispered back. He closed the gap again and Phil let himself drift into Dan’s lips before the cabin swung to a stop and Dan fell back into the seat, his hand falling off Phil’s knee.

---

Dan’s body was warm next to Phil’s, their hands touching and his breath ghosting Phil’s face. Their conversation, like any of the others they’d had over Skype while falling asleep, had drifted from topic to topic and had fallen into a lull where they just laid next to each other and watched each other’s faces.

“I’m happy I’m in your bed with you,” Dan said, his voice low despite the house being empty other than the two of them.

“I still can’t believe there isn’t a screen here,” Phil said, waving his hand between their faces.

Dan snuggled closer to him, his warm body pressed all against Phil’s, and Phil pressed a kiss to Dan’s forehead.

“I think I’ll sleep so much better with you here.” Dan’s fingers drummed against Phil’s.

“I don’t think I want to sleep. I want to stay up with you forever.”

“I think I want to stay with you forever.”

“I think we will.”

Dan put his hand on Phil’s chest and kissed him, long and languid and without hurry. They only had those few days until Dan had to go home, but deep in their minds they both knew they would really have their whole lives to spend together.

The conversation once again fell into a lull, populated by warmth and light kisses and foreheads pressed together.

At some point, sleep began to tug at them. Dan succumbed first, his breathing growing slower and more even and his body relaxing. Phil tugged the duvet up over them as much as he could without moving very much and let himself think about a future where they slept together like this every night, pressed together in their own bed in their own home.

---

The morning came with Phil getting kneed in the crotch as Dan got up to go to the toilet. “Ow,” Phil said, his voice muddied with sleep.

“Go back to sleep, Phil,” Dan said.

Phil woke up again when Dan got back into bed, his cold feet touching Phil’s legs. “You’re colding me,” Phil told him, still mostly asleep.

Dan pressed his cold hands and feet against Phil and Phil was jerked into consciousness, yelping and trying to scoot away from Dan.

“I’m cold,” Dan said. “You’re warm. Warm makes cold warm.”

“Your mum’s cold,” Phil told him, and despite Dan’s chilliness wrapped his arms around Dan and brought him closer.

A cold hand tangled itself in Phil’s hair and pulled him to meet Dan’s lips. “You’re addicted to kissing me,” Phil mumbled into Dan.

“Don’t do drugs, kids. I tried making out with Phil once and now I’m addicted.”  One of Dan’s hands was inching its way towards Phil’s ass.

Impulsively, Phil bit down on Dan’s lip. A quiet moan escaped Dan’s throat, clearly having tried to be forced into silence, and Dan’s fingers that were brushing against Phil’s side pressed into his skin.

Phil’s lungs emptied with a breathy whisper. “Dan Howell, I want to eat you whole.”

“I knew my parents were right that you were a cannibal.”

“I was hoping they wouldn’t know it was me who killed and ate you.”

“Sorry, Phil.”

Phil hooked an arm over Dan’s back. “Fall back asleep with me. You bring nice dreams.”

“You’re too old for me. I don’t want to date an eighty-year-old.”

“You fell asleep before me. You’re the old one.” Phil, though, could feel his heart speed up at the prospect of them dating, and after a moment tacked on “Do you want to date me now, though?”

Dan seemed to have taken up the offer of falling asleep, however, and only answered with a slow, quiet “Maybe tomorrow.”

Phil tucked the duvet up over them again and closed his eyes, absorbing Dan’s presence.

---

“Why do you always make cat whiskers on your face?”

“I’m sexually attracted to cat people.”

“Where’s your marker? I want to be a cat person.”

Phil got up to find a sharpie, and Dan winked at the camera.

“I see,” Phil told him, sitting back down. “Hold your face straight.”

“But I’m not straight.”

“Don’t you want to be a cat person?” Phil grabbed Dan’s chin and drew whiskers on his face. “There, now I can be properly attracted to you.”

“All that kissing didn’t count?”

“Were you a cat? No.”

They both looked into the camera, and Dan giggled. “I’ll be a cat person for you, Phil.”

“I’ll buy a tail and a collar for you, then. You can wear them next time you visit.”

Dan looked Phil dead in the eye and paused for a long moment, then in the sexiest voice he could manage said “Yes, master.” They managed to keep eye contact for nearly another ten seconds before bursting out laughing.

“You’re the worst pet ever,” Phil told him.

“Shut up, let’s give you cat whiskers.”

---

After they had shut the camera off, Dan and Phil lay on the ground, their fingers twined together and their whiskers smudged. Dan was laughing at nothing so hard the laughs were barely audible, looking up at the ceiling through half-closed eyes. Phil lay on his side, watching Dan’s eyes disappear into his smile.

“What are you laughing about?” Phil asked when the laughter had died down.

Dan turned to face him. “I’m just happy. I want to keep filming silly videos with you as long as I can. Can we make silly videos together forever?”

Phil kissed him. “Of course.”

“Promise?”