#aggretsuko s3

So I watched the season 3 finale of Aggretsuko again to try and really dissect what was going on in that final Karaoke scene, and at first I thought by the end of it Haida was using reverse psychology to upset and spur Retsuko into finally gaining enough confidence to stand up for herself and friends and be truthful. I thought that because I misheard the last thing he said before she snapped, and now I realize he was being completely honest. No reverse psychology was used.

I had misheard when he said "I want to be where you belong" as "I want YOU to be where you belong" so what Haida actually means is "I want you to trust me that I will be on your side no matter what you decide on doing" and NOT "I want you to be with me, where you belong"

So when Retsuko snaps back (and understandably so) she is raging at the world for how unfair it is and finally snapping at the idea of someone else telling her to do something and controlling her life. So far, EVERY character has told Retsuko that this is just how the world is, you need to accept it. This app judgement is just the epitome of that for her, that Haida is just playing along with the system she can't break herself out of.

That's how Haida finally reaches her. He lets her rage, he lets her scream, and doesn't demand she stop. He doesn't get scared or put off. He listens to her screams, and grabs her hand to let her know "Yeah, the world IS terrible, so I'm going to help you get back at it!"

Haida is the first, and I mean the FIRST person, to truly be on her side and mindset in this. Of course she had Washimi and Gori and Fenneko, but all the advice they gave was sticking to world views and systems. Tadano was tragic because he DID break away from that system, but Retsuko truly wanted marriage and work for what they were, and not the system. They had different wants, it happens.

Do I think Haida calling her a chicken was good? No, not really. That was kinda messed up, but hear me out! Retsuko was at her LOWEST low, she was giving up. Yes, trauma victims don't deserve to be shamed like that, but Haida wasn't WRONG when he said she was letting her attacker win. She believed everything her attacker said, and her dream reinforced all her insecurities until it almost broke her.

No, Haida didn't do it with grace or proper etiquette, but he DID save her from that spiral, and to be honest? I agree with what he said about feelings and forcing them onto others. By letting out all HIS ugly feelings, he was trying to encourage Retsuko to do the same. To let her know it's okay to be angry and yell in front of others, and not for their pleasure with her Idol performances. That she didn't have to do it in a cigarette smelling karaoke bar every night, all alone.

Because, you see, Retsuko raging at Haida was the ONLY time she ever faced her current source of anger head on in person, other than Tadano of course. With Tadano, he fought back and they couldn't meet eye to eye, it was a tragic parting. That's why this moment with Haida works so well for me. It's the opposite of what happened with Tadano. Tadano was timid, he was scared, he was desperate for her to change her mind. Haida was none of those things. He let her RAGE!

I just... this season of Aggretsuko was so interesting and emotional with complex themes and writing. I understand why people would be upset at what Haida did at the end, that even if she got better it wasn't the right way to handle it, and I get that. But I think that what the show was TRYING to say with that scene, whether you agree with the execution or not, outweighs a not so good outburst at a trauma victim. Feel free to disagree, but this is my take on it!