#agent pixel

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Pinprick silently picked up a remote with a giant red button on it. “...Everything Agent B said was complete misinformation, and sitcoms are not an invasive species. But the rest of you… you’re on the right track.” He clicked the button, and an image of what looked like a giant web made out of stars appeared on the screen. “We’ve been trying to track Sorrow- and traces of this unknown creature of darkness-” 

Nate shivered at the memory of witnessing Booloo- er, Sorrow, getting grabbed and dragged into… what he could only describe as a swirling portal of nightmares and other fucked up shit he couldn’t be bothered to think up right now. 

“And we’ve managed to track them down to a sitcom dimension.” 

Keys looked at Pinprick with worry. “Sitcom dimension…? I- but- the-” he fell silent, in an attempt to hide his worry, but his teammates could see that he was slightly shaking. 

“Don’t worry, Agent K. The manual is- outdated in that sense. Now, about the file, Agent-” 

In the blink of an eye, Nate leaned forward, snatched up the file, and started thumbing through it, his grin growing wide. “Wow! I can’t read any of this! Holy shit, I’m actually reading a classified-”

Pinprick glared at Nate. “Pixel. I wasn’t talking to you.” 

Nate summoned his wallet. “Buuuuut this paper I pulled out of nowhere says that I-”

Roxanne snatched the file back. “THIS is why you’re on tech support, Nate. Because right now, you’re acting like a Grade A moron.”

Nate pouted. “You’re no fun.” 

She glared. “Yes, but I am within Nate Slapping-Some-Sense Distance.” 

“...Oh.” He unsummoned his wallet, and slowly raised his hands in surrender, his face clearly trying to mask his concern. “Mkay. Won’t do that again.” 

“Please.” Roxanne’s voice pleaded, clearly showing some exasperation in it. “Please be good.”

Pinprick loudly cleared his throat. “Agent Hoshi, the mind control gadgets DON’T affect me- there are safeguards, since after all, we ARE running an agency. But thanks for attempting to keep the peace. Now hand the file over to Agent K.” 

Roxanne complied, and Keys opened the file. “Oh. Huh…” 

Buttons climbed onto Keys’ back like a koala, and leaned over on his shoulder. “Letme see the file that Nate Shapiro isn’t allowed to read at all!!!!”

The pair quickly skimmed through pages of text, graphs, diagrams, and photo examples. “Wait… weed isn’t allowed in this dimension?” 

Pinprick nodded yes. 

“That’s oddly specific.” mused Keys.