Note1: Search results include contents of attachments, and do not account for context.

Note2: I believe the maximum a search can show is a result of 250.

Note3: This is in no way meant to be a list of what not to do. It’s just interesting.

Note4: This is the combined query inbox of myself and my boss. He reps mostly adult fiction, I deal mostly in YA. We both specialize in SFF.

Total Query Count: 880

Ctrl-F “dragon”: 131

Ctrl-F “vampire”: 10

Ctrl-F “werewolf”: 4

Ctrl-F “devil”: 174

Ctrl-F “demon”: 250

Ctrl-F “destiny”: 86

Ctrl-F “prophecy”: 37

Ctrl-F “terrorist”: 71

Ctrl-F “fate”: 250

Ctrl-F “alien”: 167

Ctrl-F “ghost”: 250

Ctrl-F “witch”: 106

Ctrl-F “steampunk”: 7

Ctrl-F “robot”: 88

Ctrl-F “thriller”: 144

Ctrl-F “fantasy”: 250

Ctrl-F “orphan”: 93

Ctrl-F “hunter”: 115

Ctrl-F “nazi”: 33

Ctrl-F “military”: 227

Ctrl-F “angel”: 231

Ctrl-F “bible”: 67

Ctrl-F “immortal”: 67

Ctrl-F “forbidden”: 147

Ctrl-F “christian”: 90

Ctrl-F “lgbt”: 24

Ctrl-F “goddess”: 76

what would you do if haunted by her past one man's journey destined to become Dear Agent disguised as a boy to create the perfect supersoldier fate of her unborn child a new take on vampires have you ever wondered exactly like The Hunger Games except doesn't fit neatly into a single genre always knew she was different first in a trilogy Rise of the previously self-published

Me: I only represent YA, middle grade, and adult fiction. Do not query me with non-fiction, as I do not represent it.

Querying Author: you rep screenplays right because here is my screenplay it's great my mom says it's great and my kid says its great too p.s. its fiction lol

Me: I like high-concept contemporary YA, especially issue-books that don't read like issue books.

Querying Author: Perfect! I've been looking for an agent for my spy-thriller that takes place WWII!

Me: I'm not specifically looking for YA secondary-world fantasy, but try me, because you never know.

what he doesn’t know is

a classic tale of good versus evil

just your average teenager

fate of all mankind

but unbeknownst to her

beautiful, intelligent, and independent

defy her destiny

action-packed

you said on your website that

corrupt society ruled by

as their relationship deepens

a lifelong love of literature

propelled into a hidden world of

has a deadly secret

character-driven

will never be the same again

less a memoir than an exploration of

always been drawn to

You know. Meta-queries. The ones where the author, probably trying to sound unique and different, starts their query in a manner akin to the following:

Dear Lindsay Ribar,

Query letters are so hard! I mean, you go around the internet looking for the best advice, but everyone's advice conflicts with everyone else's advice, and you never know who's just making shit up. But, at the end of the day, what even is the point of a query? It's a mere fragment of thought, a smallish glimpse into the far larger, far more complex world of My Novel, and as such it can never accurately represent the truth and complexity and wonderfulness that my novel contains.

That said, your submission guidelines ask for a query, so I shall blindly choose a query letter format from among the infinite possibilities, and do my best to condense my novel into three paragraphs. So let's start here:

Hello, my name is Writer McAuthor, and I've written a 80,000 word [genre] novel entitled [Title.]

See what I did there? Good. Every day, I receive probably 5 to 10 queries that start almost exactly like that. I've been doing this job for seven and a half years. You do the math. No, wait, I'll do the math. What it adds up to = me being really sick of people bitching about query letters.

The thing is, we get it. Writing query letters is THE WORST. I've written them myself! They suck! But we have to write them. So why waste your time (and the agents' time) by writing about how much you hate query letters?

Somewhere in between. I never fell head-over-heels in love with the genre as a whole, though there are definitely some books/series within the genre that I love. The industry as a whole, and I’m talking specifically about the YA industry, seems a little burnt out on dystopian (and post-apoc) right now, though — which means even if I did love a dystopian enough to sign it, it would be a VERY hard sell.

So if you have a dystopian, I’m not going to say with 100% certainty that I won’t fall in love with it… but as of right now, the odds are not in your favor.

(See what I did there?)

(I’m sorry.)