This is archival, but also one of my more favorite old (old, old, old, old...) arts.

You can find my current work @tryskits

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

I was really lucky to have a boyfriend (liam), but as I struggled to get myself established in a new school there was one group of girls in particular who I felt kinda fucked over by. Basically, they were in marching band with Liam and I thought they were hella cool, but without going into too much detail like, a girl gave me some pills, I talked about it to an old friend that didn't even go to the same school, my old friend happened to be a tattle tale, my old friends mom happened to be best friends with the girls mom who gave me the pills, and the girl got grounded. Anyway, Janae was friends with that girl, kinda. So she randomly added me on facebook and we talked sometimes.

She was only 15 then. She was a sophomore.

She possessed an aesthetic that I will try my best to put into words: the poetic emo. The tiny girl with the big heart. Taking Back Sunday, middle school memories, striped long sleeved shirts, autumn leaves on the neighborhood streets, love notes. The kind of girl who will never forget her first kiss. A girl who likes sad books. A girl who writes lyrics on her bedroom walls. A sneakers and skinny jeans girl. A girl who wants to be sung to. A girl who excels in english class. Safety pins, black eyeliner, CD cases, sad music. A girl who loves the ocean, a girl who looks the cutest in the sunshine.

She was the kind of person I used to imagine when I would daydream about what high school must be like.

Second semester of my freshman year, I met Janae in real life on the first day. I was trying to find anybody I knew at lunch and I heard a girl go "hey!" I looked at her and she said "it's janae, the facebook chick." Her voice was so cute too, exactly like I imagined. And she was so small and cute that I felt like a towering, masculine giant in her presence.

And that was it, we just started being good friends. She said "I saw this really cute emo boy and I think he saw me too I really need to find out who he is" and I was like "I think you're talking about this guy sam in my class!!!" And I actually introduced them and well they dated for a while which was actually a really good time for me too and we were all good friends.

The really weird thing about being friends with Janae was that like...I saw her change. Not just once but like, a bunch of times, and it just....

I remember when Sam broke up with her and she was in Florida and she always told me I saved her life. I think that's what eventually got my name tattooed onto her wrist. But anyway, I don't really even know what else to say now without sounding like I'm talking bad about her and that wasn't the point of this post.

We didn't even really talk that much after my sophomore year started, my next notable memory was after junior year started. She was dating Sam again but she became involved with my ex CJs best friend and there was an incident where they got intimate in front of him and he said she made him touch her breast and like he damn near was crying when he told me about it because he felt so bad but then one time months later when he was mad at me he was like "and you know what janaes tits were soft" and I can't help that I still think about it. I don't even think I ever talked to her about that. I just remember that's when I realized she wasn't the same Janae that I met anymore. We ended up hanging out later that year like right after I got my license and we drove around and I remember listening to jumper by third eye blind. We were friends again after that.

While I was with Alex, she was my best friend. Let's be honest, I had a HUGE crush on her when I was in my senior year. She was so pretty and gentle and fun to be around. Um, I really wish I could redo that, and do something special with her, like take her on a real date or something, because what happened wasn't the magical experience I had hoped for. She basically made out with me and stuffed her tits in my face randomly when she was drunk which was totally cool at the time but not romantic in the long run lmao. I had a couple other times later in life when making girls happy gave me butterflies and I would imagine getting to hold them or whatever but this was my only ever real girl crush and it was special to me.

I'm pretty sure she knew, I don't know. There were years more memories after that. I'm saying, this was my go-to girl for everything. Need someone to smoke with? Janae. Need someone to skip school with? Janae. Need someone to help clean my room? Janae. Need someone to drive around with? Janae. Someone to cry with? Janae. Someone to watch a movie with? Janae. Maybe that was a mistake, though. I think I started to take advantage of the way she would do anything for me, idk. I depended on her to keep so many secrets, so much important shit. She was there when I missed every single ex, and when I made every single mistake. I felt like she wanted nothing more than to just spend her whole life laughing with me. And that's what I miss. I miss being around somebody who was down to laugh all the time. I miss being around somebody who was down to do anything together. I miss being your best friend.

A Little Update on the 14 Year Olds; Mars Galax and Juliet Solar

Mars: No Julie, I’m Not Doing This Again.

Juliet:PLEASSSE!! *Gave Her boyfriend a Cute Puppy Face* I’ll Give You a Kiss

@mxrymxc

Lily was sitting at the kitchen table, bouncing with excitement as she waited for her dad to come down stairs. Mary had been over for the last few days and today, David Evans had agreed to drive the girls to London so that they could go to Diagon Alley. They were eating a breakfast that Rose had made for them, pancakes and bacon. Petunia was also eating with them, but she was being quiet and keeping her thoughts to herself, so nothing was bringing Lily down at the moment. 

It was hard going the whole summer without seeing any other witches or wizards, being completely re-immersed into the muggle world and not being allowed to do magic and so this seemed like a bigger deal to her than it did to her parents. 

“It’s not too late to change your mind, Petunia.” Rose said, fixing her husband and herself two travel mugs with tea. She’d be off to work in about thirty minutes. “You can tag along if you’d like.” Lily wasn’t worried about her sister’s answer, she knew that Petunia didn’t want to go. 

“No thanks, mum,” She said, not looking up from her plate. “Yvette and I have already made plans. She’s going to pick me up in an hour or so. She just got her license.” She smiled a bit at the last part and Rose sighed. 

“Alright,” She looked at Lily and Mary. “And are you two good? You want me to pack you a snack for the car ride?” Lily shook her head.