#ag fandom

https://3d.si.edu/collections/girlhood

[ Escaramuza 5 piece ensemble]

Meet Altynay: Chapter One

(I’d put it under a cut, but I’m on mobile)

Altynay propped her head up on a mountainous stack of pillows, aching to be outside, or anywhere else really, instead of having to hold her baby sister in a stuffy hospital that smelled like alcohol and pee.

The moonlight sparkled on her sister’s red face, permanently fixed in a squabble, even though she was asleep. The clock ticked on the wall.

three am…

When will they be back?

Altynay didn’t let her mind wander for too long, and took out her homework, juggling her workbooks and pencil among the cords that were helping to keep her sister alive.

Your parents need sleep too!! She chided herself. Stop being ungrateful!!

Ungrateful. Ungrateful. Ungrateful. Ever since her sister had been born a month prior, that seemed to be the only word adults used to describe Altynay. If they even noticed her. Usually they went straight for the baby.

Altynay was ungrateful for crying when her mom left in the middle of the night to take her sister back to the emergency room, and she was ungrateful for being upset when the only food in the house happened to be Mayo and a single slice of cheese. She was ungrateful on her birthday when she stormed into her room because everyone brought presents for her sister, but didn’t bring any for her. She was ungrateful. Ungrateful. Ungrateful.

Tears dotted the rough paper of her math notebook as she realized she couldn’t do any of it. She hadn’t gotten much sleep in the past week, and must have zoned out during math class.

“If you don’t do this, you’re going to get another demerit and have to move your behavior clip down to red!!” She gritted her teeth. Her teacher didn’t make exceptions.

Truthfully, the math homework would have been easy on any other day, at home, with a clear mind and some sleep, even without the instruction. Before her sister was born, math was Altynay’s favorite subject, and she could do equations up to Algebra 2.

Altynay took a couple deep breaths and focused back on her worksheet.

“See? It’s just times tables.” She told herself, “You like times tables.”

She finished her homework just as a nurse Altynay didn’t recognize walked into the room.

Altynay gave a small wave. “She’s not had any major changes. She got air in her line a couple minutes ago and I fixed it because the beeping was upsetting me, I hope that’s alright?”

The nurse looked around and gave a dramatic sigh. “Where are your parents??”

Altynay anxiously bit her lip. “They’re in the family room. Mama hasn’t slept in three days, and papa is taking care of her. We have to hold my sister up at an angle or else she aspirates.”

“It’s against policy for children to be left unattended.” The nurse gave Altynay a look as if she should know that.

Altynay did know that as an avid worrier and sign reader, but she had done this before. “The nice charge nurse with the maple leaf scrubs lets me hold her while my parents rest. She says I’m very smart and careful.”

Altynay contemplated asking the nurse if she needed an Advil and some coffee, as that always seemed to soften her parents’ frustration, especially these days, but the nurse was already out the door, no doubt on her way to the family room.

The pit in Altynay’s stomach grew when Mama and Papa appeared in the doorway, the harsh yellow lights in the hallway illuminating just how tired they were.

“I’m sorry.” Altynay whispered, handing her sister over to her dad, as her mom pushed the suitcases together and created a makeshift bed.

Her dad gave her a wretched look before mustering a curt “go play” followed by a “somewhere that’s not in this room” and a “I’ll find you around six am to take you to school.”

Altynay hurriedly shoved an outfit from her suitcase into her school bag before leaving the room. She would change in the school bathroom.

The lights buzzed over Altynay’s head, and her eyes stung from the sudden change from dark to light. Gurneys and wheelchairs pushed past her, all accompanied by herds of people.

But Altynay was alone.

She felt small as she shrunk into a corner of the larger than life elevator. Was she invisible?

“What floor?” A tired looking doctor asked.

At least that was confirmation that she wasn’t completely invisible.

“Five.” She let him punch the number for her. She didn’t actually have a floor in mind. She knew her father would expect to find her on the ground level, or the family services level, but Altynay didn’t want to be findable right then.

Altynay learned quickly that as long as you didn’t look lost, scared or suspicious, that most doctors would brush past you. She wandered the fifth floor, filing the diagrams posted on the wall into her photographic memory, and listening in on conversations. The hospital wasn’t all bad. Altynay wanted to be a surgeon, and she often told herself that this was just a head start.

Sometime later, Altynay found herself being shaken awake by a concerned face. She must have crashed on one of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, most certainly not by choice.

“Do you know where your parents are?” The face most certainly didn’t mean to be imposing, and the gentle smile that accompanied the question squashed any off handed remark a rudely awakened Altynay may have otherwise come up with. “Don’t make me go back up there.” Altynay groaned. “I’m not lost, just tired. And I’m not a runaway patient, before you go accusing me of that. My sister is the one who keeps trying to die.”

“I see. Well, why don’t you walk with me?” The doctor held out his hand.

Altynay suspiciously took it. “I’m not going back to my parents. Or my sister. Or that nurse. They’re all mean and I hate them.”

“Are you hungry?” The doctor asked.

Altynay looked up at him, trying to remember the last time she ate. “Maybe. Please no more popsicles, I haven’t had any fruit except that time when my friend’s dad packed her a bushel of bananas for lunch. I want fruit.”

The doctor chuckled. “I can do that.”

Altynay didn’t know why she found herself babbling to someone she barely knew. Normally she was shy and skeptical, but the nice doctor actually seemed to care about her. He didn’t call her ungrateful, or yell at her for trying to help. He found her a fruit salad and tucked her into an unoccupied bed. Altynay didn’t realize how much she missed being treated like a kid. It felt wrong to wish for life before her sister was born, but it was hard for nine-year-old Altynay not to, when days and nights were spent in the hospital, and she could barely remember what her own bedroom looked like. Altynay fell asleep almost immediately, surrounded in swirling images of her baby sister’s unused crib, and all the “can nots” that came shortly after her sister’s birth.

9:00 AM.

Altynay begrudgingly peeled herself out of bed. Late again. At least her homework was done.

Altynay texted Papa on the flip phone her parents gifted her, which was already on its last legs, despite it being “For Emergencies Only.”

Sorry for being late, can you take me to school please? xoxo

She put on her change of clothes as she waited for his reply, thankful that her tardiness meant she wouldn’t have to change in the school bathrooms.

Sorry pumpkin, your sister had a bad night. I should stay here with your mom. Take the bus again? I’ll make it up to you.

Altynay felt a pang of guilt. While she was sleeping, her sister was struggling to stay alive. Mama probably didn’t get the sleep she needed, she thought.

Her eyes stung with tears as she boarded the bus. Papa always said it wasn’t her job to worry about them, but she couldn’t help but feel responsible. She pushed her ball of upset back down, imagining it rolling out of the bus, never to be seen again. It seemed to have grown trifold in the past months.

who was your first doll, and how did you get it?

which american girl looks the most like you?

which girl do you think you’d get along with the best and why?

which girl is your least favorite and why?

how many dolls do you have in your collection?

which type of doll do you have the most of (ex. historical, truly me, girl of the year, create your own...)

which girl’s story do you resonate most with?

if you had to pick one AG character to get rid of forever, which would you choose and why?

who was the girl of the year when you were born or which doll was most popular when you were a kid?