#afewthoughts

Exactly five years ago today, I released this EP. A lot has happened since then, but none have happened how I planned. At that point, I hoped that in five years, I would’ve released a few albums, and have possibly landed on a small record label or something. Instead, I’ve released some covers and singles (no albums though) and, right now at least, I don’t have the means, nor the desire, to be on a record label. Life gets in the way, both good stuff and bad stuff. My ideas for what I want to write and release have changed. In fact, the A Few Thoughts EP was just a fragment of a full-length album that I didn’t end up finishing (more on that in a later post). In my personal five year hopes at the time, I know that I hoped that I would be engaged or married, but I didn’t know IF that would even happen. I feel lucky that I found a keeper. (thank you @justjadeiris ❤️❤️❤️) All in all though, I’ve learned a lot in the last five years. (Maybe more life stuff than music business-y stuff, but I digress.) In some respects I feel like an old soul, but I know I’ve got a lot to learn still; a lot more falling up to do and failure to learn from. With moving to Dayton, my life is definitely in a new phase, and I think my career is shifting into something new. Something better. I don’t know exactly what it looks like, but I do know it’s not moving up the Starbucks ladder. (I’m not dissing anyone who is; it’s a great company!) I still have a LOT of music in me, and I want to (and will) be playing shows, and I can’t WAIT for you to hear LP1 (official title will be announced soon), and I’m so so so excited for what the future has to hold. Here’s to another five years, however they may look .🥂 .-~<{===}>~-. #newmusicsoon #afewthoughts #fiveyearsago #fiveyearplan #reflections #hopes #plans (at Dayton, Ohio) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4Pv7X-hoYJ/?igshid=15dyuaqj185jw

Finally, Sister Hilda’s dry humor gets an A+ from me. Partially, because it reminds me too much of my own but it’s kind of refreshing to hear it as a contrast from Sister Jullienne’s soothing, stern but always even tone or the always present passive-aggressive niceness.

<3

So far this year in itself has felt like a life time, so many ups that I'm more than grateful for & so many downs that have left wounds I will never recover from, like the passing of my beautiful mother on May 24th. She had such a great impact on so many lives and I learnt a great deal from her conduct, gone but never forgotten! Life has proved to me that it is not a push over, it's a tough battle that is not necessarily won by the strong, but rather those that endure, those that may fall again and again but rise like champions every time, those that stand by what they believe and let nothing distract them from the truth. Therefore regardless of what I go through I refuse to give up... They say life is what you make it, so I've decided to make mine a life that will be remembered for Faith, Excellence, hard work & integrity. I will achieve!! #MrMaze #AFewThoughts #2014 #EverydaysAFashionShow #SuccessIsNotADestination #SuccessIsAJourney

I could describe it, being lost and confused and scared all the time, but there is no point in doing so. I keep fighting hoping for the dawn to come... I know it will.. well... I hope it will. Bad decisions man, very bad decisions. I need something...  .............. Darn tears...

In my younger years I was trained to be a life guard. It was actually pretty fun, but the reality that I would save someones life doing this never really hit me till I got older. I remember having to swim back and forward in the large pool at my local park. I remember having to swim to the bottom of a nine foot pool while holding a flotation device. I remember practicing my breathing and learning to hold my breath for large amounts of time. I remember learning how to calm someone who is panicking when I arrive to help them. Often times, I would go underwater and just... chill there. I know its weird, but being able to hold your breath for a minute and being bored between shifts gives you ideas I guess. Underwater, there is no sound other than the water. You can hear your thoughts, your heartbeat (if you've been under for long), the distant sounds of splashes as other people get into the pool. But drowning... Being surrounded by water and unable to escape. It reminds me of loneliness. Drowning... maybe you dont know how to swim, maybe you are injured and cant traverse the waters the way you usually could. Having no one around to hear your shouts for help. You slowly sink deeper and deeper into the water hoping someone will be there, but there is no one. Just you, and the water. You are forced to face reality. You are alone... "Under the water you scream so loud but the silence surrounds you." But that's when I come in I guess... a life guard. No matter the depths, my job would require me to swim and get you out. I was supposed to save you. Some of us are drowning... wishing for the life guard we never knew, or one we use to know to save us. But all we see is the water. Losing your breath slowly, reality dimming its lights, death edging ever closer. Eventually all you can hear is your thoughts. Eventually all you know is that you are alone. Loneliness is a lot like drowning. But in the ocean of fate, love is the lifeguard. "If my red eyes don't see you anymore and I cant hear you through the white noise, just send your heart beat. I'll go to the blue ocean floor where they find us no more. On the blue ocean floor." Obviously I need to take my ass to sleep... too early to be thinking this way. then again, I have to spend the day drowning...