#admin: ray

Pronouns: she/her

About you: i play video games, rant into the abyss a lot, and sometimes i make posts

Favourite space media: Star WARS I’m so basic for princess leia

Favourite tropes: give me villains turning good and good guys turning bad, either that of the nice guy that bad shit keeps happening to

What you want to see on the site: i just wanna have a good time and vibe with people

What cyberbionic enhancement would you get?: wall hacks?

Mandatory GIF:

Hello, Tess, it’s Crowley here. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you.

I completely understand why you told your friend that you couldn’t deal with emotionally supporting him right now, love, and I support you in that judgement call. We always want to help everyone around us, but sometimes we have the strength to help others stand, and sometimes we’re barely on our feet ourselves- we can’t support another’s weight. I know putting yourself first has always been a struggle for you, so in the midst of your dilemma, I do want to commend you on first of all taking care of your own needs.

It does sound like the way you stood up for yourself might not have been the most sensative, however. While it’s understandable you have to put yourself first right now, there may have been a way you could have disentangled yourself from your friend’s problems more gently. The election is a big deal in America right now, and a lot of people are very scared. I’m not saying you have to make this your problem, or even that you’re wrong to be annoyed by it. Your feelings are your feelings, and I’m not asking you to change them. But I think acknowledging that there might have been a kinder way to stand up for yourself will be a big help in resolving this tension. You need to talk with your friend. Communicate calmly and clearly about what’s going on in your side of this. Explain to him that it’s not that you don’t care, but you don’t have the strength to support both him and you right now, because you’re in a bit of a dark place yourself. And listen to him when he tells you how you made him feel. Your friend is scared that the new leader of his country will hurt him and the people he cares about, and in his mind, you just said you don’t care if that happens. And you might not be able to deal with it right now, but I know you, Tess. I know that’s not true.

Encourage your friend to reach out to others in his life. You can’t be the only resource he has when he needs help. And apologize. Not for putting yourself first, I’m proud of you for that, but for the way you did it. You were stressed and scared and hurting and frustrated and you snapped- it happens to the best of us, and it doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad friend. But I think if you want to repair this friendship, an apology and some mutual listening to each other will go a long way.

Hey, A. You’ve reached Anna.

Honest answer here? If you’re worried that you might be faking it, you probably aren’t. Faking a mental illness requires a conscious decision. So unless you sat down one day and decided that PTSD sounded like a real blast, and so hey, you should pretend to have flashbacks? You’re legitimate. Your problems are legitimate. And your diagnoses are legitimate.

Most medical professionals operate under the two diagnosis system, however, one primary and one secondary. It’s possible that your diagnosis has shifted some over the years, and it’s possible that some of those disorders are really only symptoms of one of the others. BPD is often caused by trauma, for example, so PTSD could be covered already by the BPD diagnosis. Same with the depression, anxiety, and even the psychosis. Does that make sense? Remember, a diagnosis is really only a collection of symptoms. Those can easily overlap, leaving you with what feels like a huge list of acronyms, when really, most if not all of the symptoms stem from one disorder.

In the end, though, it really doesn’t matter what your diagnoses are, A. The important thing is that you’re getting the help you need for the symptoms you have. And again, unless you decided one day to fake those symptoms, they’re real, I promise.

Hang in there, alright? And feel free to check in whenever you need.

Emily, it’s Crowley here.

You don’t need to apologize, darling! I’m sorry if my last message sent you the wrong message, but you don’t need to apologize to me for anything. I’m glad you’re doing what you love, and I’m glad you knew to reach out for help when life got to be too overwhelming. All I meant was that it’s important to have a plan the next time things get hectic. I know school is difficult, but working yourself into the ground every other week isn’t healthy. And no matter how important school is, your health- mental and physical- has to come first. But please, don’t feel like you need to feel guilty for being stressed or having a busy schedule. Just remember that no matter how busy you are, our health comes first.

[vav] someone that I would be willing to take a chance for. It’s unbelievable how compatible we are. So, I could definitely try doing what you recommended and see how it goes. Thank you, again! I really appreciated your help :) (2/2)

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Hey, Vav, it’s Anna.

Let me know how all of this goes! I’m really excited for you, and I hope it works out. But even if it doesn’t, I promise, this won’t be the end of the world. Will it be awkward? Yeah. Embarrassing? Of course. But it doesn’t have to wreck your friendship. You can move past a lot if you really care about making a friendship work. This isn’t an all or nothing shot here.

Keep me posted!

I get a panic attack every time I think about showering. I was supposed to go to this dinner with a club I’m apart of but I panicked and backed out last minute. Every time I talk to someone (like an RA or college staff) I feel optimistic but then as soon as the conversation is over I realize its stupid to even try being in college because I know that I will mess up. I want to drop out and honestly I would except my home is four states away and my parents won’t come get me. Also… when I do go home, I’ll be going home to parents that are abusive enough that I feel unsafe, but not abusive enough that CPS did anything about it, despite multiple reports when I was a kid. So I’d have to go back to living in that environment and hiding my tattoos (a lot of tattoos from them) and I just feel so alone and stuck and I don’t know what to do. The only option I think I really have is to get sent to prison. Then I could lie in bed all day and not do anything with my life…

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Hey, UnSub. Anna here.

Hold on there, kiddo. Deep breath, okay? I totally get why you’re freaking out, and your fears are very real and valid. But I’m sure there’s a better way to handle this than prison. At the very least, you’re away from home until the holidays, so we have some time to work through all this and figure it out. So let’s not do anything drastic, okay? Let’s see if there’s a better solution.

You just moved in to school yesterday, right? So nothing’s really started up. No classes, clubs are only beginning… It’s a weird time. And this in between time lets anxiety fester and fears grow. You’re smart and you’re tough and you’re strong, UnSub. I know because everything you’ve gone through points to it. Living with a PD is rough. Your home life is rough. Anxiety and bipolar are rough. But you’re still here. And you’re at school, far away from everyone who’s ever tried to control you and make your life hell. This is your ticket out, UnSub. Don’t write it off and drop out before you even start. Once classes begin and you get into the groove of it all, things will be easier, I promise. You didn’t get into college by mistake, or by a miracle. You got in because even though your life has been a total crapshow, you’re capable enough to handle university. Keep talking to your RAs, try reaching out to some other new students, build a support network to help you stay positive. But give this a try.

Now, about going home… Is there any way you can stay in the dorms over breaks? You would have to talk to an RA. Or maybe you could go home with a college friend, at least for part of the time. Obviously if you’re still financially tied to your folks, you can’t simply move out, but you can minimize the time you spend with them. You deserve more than being trapped with them forever, UnSub. You deserve a ticket out- and college can be that for you. This can be your big chance. And let me tell you, as much as exams can be hellish, it’s so much better than prison.

Gabby middle 1(I can’t remember it all so I’m sorry for and miss-steps!) Me. I’ve barely been away from home and cried last time I slept over my friends house. I’m worried about my family and my grades and while I’ve acted mature for most of my life Gabby middle 2:I’m not sure how just acting adult is supposed to get me through when I still don’t know a lot and I’m trying to make my family proud.(I’m sorry for the issues & if this doesn’t align properly with the last part but thank you for this) ..me now. I feel like the world is caving in and while I know there are people around and near me, it’s like I’m in cellophane and I can’t quite reach anyone that I see. I’m really sorry that this is so long!

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Gabby, love, you’ve reached Crowley.

Moving into college is an incredibly stressful time. So before I say anything else, I want to reassure you that what you’re seeing is entirely normal. Millions of students before you have had these same exact fears. Millions have thought ‘everyone else can do it, but it’s me who’s the exception.’ And they’ve all been wrong. Your feelings are real and important and valid, and I’m not trying to take away from that at all. But really, darling, all the evidence suggests that you’re going to be just fine.

No one expects you to be a full fledged adult entering college. School is a transitional time, a period of living away from home without really being on your own. You have RAs and professors and dorms and dining halls and advisors. And you have peers. Peers who are all in the same boat as you, all scared and lonely and homesick. Some are just better at hiding it than others. You have a safety net at school, Gabby. If you use the resources offered to you, you’ll be perfectly fine. College students have vastly varying levels of maturity, and freshman life is structured to offer each the support they need to thrive and make school their home away from home.

My biggest suggestion is to talk to people. Everyone. Make friends with students, talk to your RA for advice and support and guidance, get to know your professors. And call home every now and again. It’s not weakness, and it’s not letting anyone down. You can stay connected to your roots while still branching out into the new world college is opening up to you. And that’s one of the great things higher education does. It lets you find your feet in the adult world while still being there to catch you if you should fall. You’re going to be marvelous, Gabby.