#admin tea

With the cameras rolling, Y/n gave a solid thumbs up from his seat and the interview began “Okay! So we’re going to go through some fan questions first. Atiny would like to know: Is there anyone that Y/n didn’t get along with during trainee years?” The question prompted a few hums from the idols in front of the camera as they tried to recall back to their trainee years.

“I don’t think there was ever a time Y/n-Hyung didn’t get along with any of us” Wooyoung spoke up, tilting his head in thought, “He’s always been able to get along with anyone and everyone.”

“He and Wooyoung definitely were the first two to get along though-“ Yunho chimed in, “The two of them were practically two peas in a pod from the beginning.” As the members shared their agreement with the two, a hand was raised at the back of the group.

“While Y/n gets along with all of us-“ Seonghwa began, catching everyone’s attention, “There was this one time where one of us, I can’t remember who, ate the last of his favourite snack and he refused to talk to them for the rest of the week. It was surprising to all of us how he could be so petty but nowadays it makes sense…”

“Ah- It was me that ate the last of his snacks…” Yunho spoke up again, a shy smile now on his face as he rubbed at the back of his neck, “I did apologise then but I’ll apologise again now. I’m sorry for eating the last of your snacks Y/n-ie”

The interviewer let out a small chuckle as she shifted through her cards before settling on one “Another atiny would like to know: Is there anything Y/n does without thinking?” she read out with a curious hum, “Ah they wanted to specify that they mean at the dorms and not in the public eye. A TMI of sorts-“

A hand immediately shot up “One thing he does is sleep in other people's beds without asking” San beamed, a small grin on his face as if he was proud of his answer. Hums of agreement were shared, some members nodding their heads too.

“Oh? If I may ask, who’s bed does he sleep in the most?”

“Definitely Hongjoong-hyungs-“ Wooyoung called out, face telling of what memory he was recalling, “Oh! and Jongho’s-“

“My bed! Y/n-Hyung has his own bed and he ends up choosing mine over it! When I’m in it too!” Jongho cried out in exasperation while cutting off Wooyoung, “He never sleeps in it when I’m not in it either-“

“In all fairness, Y/n-Hyung refuses to sleep alone.” Yeosang added, “It’s not surprising- Especially when you see how often our dear captain indulges him by letting Y/n-Hyung sleep in his bed most nights.”

“I don’t indulge him-“ Hongjoong began with a scoff, stopping when he saw all the member's eyes on him.

“Oh really?” Mingi finally spoke up, “You told me off for being too loud once because Y/n-Hyung was sleeping-“

“Maybe you were being too loud-“ Hongjoong responded with a pout

“I hadn’t even said anything!” Mingi complained, his voice coming out whining, “The look you gave me was so scary too!”

While the members continued to go back and forth between each other over their captain's overindulgence, Y/n continued to sit with his back to the group, blissfully unaware of the chaos that was unfolding behind him. Suddenly, there was a small tap on his shoulder; Y/n turned around to see the interviewer, who then motioned for him to take off his headphones and rejoin the group. Once sat, the interviewer spoke up again “Y/n, is there anything on your mind that you’d like to say to your members?”

“Namjoon, I just need some time alone right now okay.”

He looks up at you, his own eyes glossy as well nodding.

Turning away from him, you flag a taxi down going back to your shared apartment. Upon arriving at your apartment you shut the door quickly behind you as you run your hands down your face, wiping away at your tears as you walk to your shared room quickly pulling out your suitcase as you throw clothes into a suitcase hearing the door open and shut and Namjoon appear in the doorway.

“y/n please, please don’t do this, don’t leave me.” Namjoon, walks over to your suitcase frowning before looking at you.

You shake your head as you walk to the bathroom.

“Namjoon, I waited ten months for you to tell me and now you tell me you have a child with someone else now. Some other girl out there has your first child that could have been us if you hadn’t gone out that night.”

He hangs his head in shame as he allows you to release what you’ve held in for so long.

Shaking your head as you wipe at your tears angrily, closing your eyes as take a deep shaky breath, opening them to continue packing your things.

“Y/n please, I understand I screwed up. Just let me fix this, please. I don’t want her I love you. I shouldn’t have went with her. I was just stupid and drunk-”

You hold up your hand, shaking your head not wanting to hear any more.

“Please, Namjoon, I don’t want to know anymore. Just go see her and the baby and then you can tell me how you feel after. But right now I can’t look at you without thinking of that night you didn’t come home, I need to be alone. And you need to figure out what you’re going to do.”

With that you closed the suitcase and walked passed him, hearing him sniffle as you felt your own lip tremble more tears threatening to spill over your eyelids.

Calling another cab, walking to the elevator doors pressing the button, as the doors open and you enter, hearing behind you Namjoon walking out to see the doors closing on you.

Namjoon thought he lost you forever, after that day. That day he spent upset with himself. After that he turned up at the hospital later that evening going to see the girl finally arriving at her room he knocked before he entered. Seeing her hold a small pink bundle in her arms.

That’s when Namjoon fell in love for the second time in his life but as he held her in his own arms his regrets of sleeping with another really broke him, as tears of joy became choked sobs of loss. Afraid he’s lost you forever, he realized what he wanted more than anything.

You.

You sat as you watched Namjoon playing with his daughter. You smile  as you sip your drink. She sports the cute little booties you both saw the day he found out. He’s spent every second he could with her after he found out. He called you everyday after you left only to be sent straight to voicemail each time, he never gave up until he started going to all your friend’s house just to find you.

When he did you were awestruck at his persistence, but nonetheless happy because to you that showed you how much he cares about you. But still you hold your doubts, because since he’s been close with his baby girl’s mother as well as you.

Sighing as you take your drink, walking to your room, you were still hesitant around him, closing the door softly behind you. Not wanting to give too much of yourself to him. Because you know the moment you do, who knows maybe he’ll fall in love with the woman who birthed him a child over you. You know your thoughts to be selfish but you couldn’t fathom another heartbreak. When he found out about his daughter a month ago you were heartbroken. You didn’t feel better after walking out on him, you were hurt, you couldn’t even tell your friends until about two weeks after all while his calls, messages, and voicemails. The sound of his voice back during those times broke you. No matter where you were. You wished it didn’t, it should have hurt when you found out you cheated. But you love him so much.

So as you sit here in your room hearing the door click behind you and a soft gurgle.

“Y/n, what’s wrong? You’re always awfully quiet when I bring her around… Is something wrong with her or?”

Sighing you shake your head, rubbing your hands down your face as you tuck your legs behind you on your bed.

“No, Namjoon, it’s not something I feel like talking about while you have your time with her. Let’s just wait till later please?”

He looks at you before he nods slowly turning to leave the room as he makes baby noises. The door clicking shut after him.

You lean your head back on the headboard, chewing on your lip. You didn’t want to be that kind of person who blamed babies, but you didn’t enjoy this sense of loneliness you felt now that most of what Namjoon did was focus on being a father.

Shaking your head, most would ask you why you even bothered to get back with him if all you feel is this empty pain. You would tell them because you love him.

A few hours pass as you hear your front door being shut and a loud sigh before Namjoon carries himself all the way to your room stopping in front of your door before knocking gently.

“Come in.” Opening the door you are greeted with Namjoon’s soft smile as he shuts the door behind himself walking to you, laying himself on top of you, his face nuzzling into your sweater as you smile he closes his eyes, before taking your hand setting it atop his head.

“Run your fingers through my hair like you always used to do, I missed you. Now I finally have you back and you keep to yourself mostly. I miss us, baby.”

You nod, listening closely to his words as you do as asked, gently running your fingers through his hair, your nails barely grazing his scalp as he releases a quiet moan, relaxing against you. You smile down at him as you hear a soft buzz from your front door frowning as Namjoon groans quickly standing.

“I’ll go see who that is.”

You nod, as you think to yourself you’ve only been back a week and he wants things to be the way they used to be. Awe your precious boy. Standing up to peek at who’s at the door you see her. His daughter’s mom. Frowning, everyday that you’ve been back, may it be a week only, she’s done this asks for something extra from him as if he should be bending over backwards for her because they share a child. Sighing you listen to or attempt to hear what she’s asking for this time.

“I just need a couple more dollars to buy her wipes and extra nighties for when she comes here, Namjoon. You can’t expect me working three jobs to be able to support her and gas. Help me out here.”

Shaking your head, as you stay in the room, since she still has no idea you both are together. Staying as still as you can as he nods.

“Just let me grab my wallet from my room and give you some, but after this please stop asking me for money. I buy her things too, and have things to pay for too. I can’t continuously give you money.” You hear him walking back to your shared room as he sees you, stepping in front of you as you take light steps backwards in suit with him, as he smiles down at you.

Finally the back of your knees hit your bed as you sit down pulling your legs up, chewing your lip as he grabs his wallet taking out a couple hundreds before setting it back on the night table, leaving the room. You keep your ears peeled as you hear him give her the money as you sit back waiting for him. Hearing the door clicked shut as you look at the door.

“Hi, babe sorry about that,” you nod as he crawls back into his same position, again putting your hand on his head.

You run your fingers gently through his hair as you let your thoughts linger into a part of you that is still unconvinced on if you made the right decision to come back, but the other half of you is happy you’re with him, Because where else would you rather be than in his arms. It’s an inner battle with yourself because of her. Because she had to sleep with him that night now she comes to your home begging the man you love for money to support a child she spends barely any time with. You know you’re thinking these thoughts out of spite towards her, but she doesn’t deserve what you almost had.  

You feel his arms pull you closer as if that were possible as he hums in contentment closing his eyes.

“Thank you, y/n for not giving up on me. I love you so much. When you walked out the day, I never thought you’d come back to me. I thought you and I were done for. I’ve never felt so awful and disgusted with myself in my life until that day, and I apologize for putting you through that and I promise to try to be better for you.”

“Namjoon, you don’t have to apologize. You understand now where your faults were, please don’t beat yourself up over it. It hurts me to see you do that to yourself so please, Namjoon, for now it’ll be okay. Just don’t think of doing it again.”

He nods slowly, as he releases a long breath.

You both lay there until you feel his body become heavier. Smiling, you look at him, you wish it could be like this forever. Another knock at the door startles you as you gently shift his head from your lap to the pillow, adjusting it so he doesn’t realize you left his side.

Walking to the door, quietly shutting it after you as you go to the door another rap of knocking sounds as you hurry your way, opening it.

“Sorry, who is it,” you say as you fix your shirt looking up to see his daughters mother standing right there.

“Oh, uh I didn’t know Namjoon had a friend over, is he busy?”

You stood there dumbfounded. What is she doing here?

“He’s asleep,” was all you could manage to say as you hear your bedroom door click as Namjoon walks out.

“Baby, you left the bed and it gets lonely without you come back to sleep,” he whines as he stops rubbing his eyes looking at the door stopping in the middle of the hallway. “What are you doing here?”

She looks between Namjoon and you, “baby? Wait are you back with your ex? Or what is going on?”

Raising your eyebrow as you turn to Namjoon, crossing your arms as you look at him. You two never broke up. You just gave him some space to figure things out.

“I- y/n listen, you have that look and it’s not what you think. Nothing serious happened.”

Scoffing as you turn to her then back to him shaking your head as you walk to the room brushing passed him, before stopping to face his back.

“Namjoon, tell me what happened then since you assume I’m thinking the worst of things.”

He looks at the door, before he looks back at you.

“I didn’t do anything like sleep with her, I just had her over a few times. Nothing serious happened. I promise you, y/n.”

He keeps his eyes on yours as you try your best to read him, from his body posture as your eyes trail back up to his eyes.

“Okay, if you didn’t turn her away, Namjoon. No talking just turn her away. I’m tired of you trying to use my naivety for you to continue to have these slip ups.”

You turn to walk into your room, leaning back on as your heart thumps against your chest. Closing your eyes as you slide down the door taking deep breaths, before hearing a soft knock on the door.

“Y/n, may we talk please. I need to come clean about my doings this last month.”

You look ahead blankly before you come to your feet, turning the door as you step out looking at him, moving passed him to go to the living room sitting down, crossing your legs and arms over your chest. Feeling as if you were shielding your own insecurities.

“Well go on please, Namjoon. I’ve been here one week, you should have expected this to happen. So please sit down and tell me. We need to have an honest relationship.”

He nods, sitting down next to you as you turn to face him, as he mimics you.

“She came over a few times, I understand that it may not be serious to me, which is stupid of me and I should be considerate of your feelings as well. And I-”, he looks away, with a faraway gaze before turning back to look at you.

“What happened, Namjoon, hiding it from me will only affect our relationship more than it already has. So be honest with me. Please,” he nods slowly as you hold your hand out. Maybe with a bit of your empathy and affection he’ll be honest.

“I’m sorry, I screwed everything up, y/n. I just- I missed you so much and I just needed that sense of comfort. I needed you but I couldn’t find you, so I went and sought her out when I should have waited. All she is the mother of my daughter and she shouldn’t be anything more when I know I have you now.”

You sit there, blankly, trying not to let too much of your emotions show. For if they do that’s it.

“So you slept with her again, is what your beating around the bush about, that’s what you can’t physically say to me, Namjoon. God, I swear I had a feeling. You acted the same way when you cheated on me. Are you afraid of being honest with me? Are you in constant fear that I’ll leave you?”

He looks at you, his eyes glassy as you sighed frustratedly.

“I’m sorry, y/n. It won’t happen again.” You pierced your lips together as you nod slowly, standing up.

“I’ll be sleeping on the couch. If she comes around here again, I will not hesitate to teach her a lesson. It still upsets me that you even thought but not only that you acted on that thought. I should have known. But it’s whatever for now. Just go to bed, I need to be alone.”

He nods as you follow after him, taking a blanket from the closet walking back to the living room as you lay down on the couch, feeling something hard in your back, sitting up pulling whatever it is out, seeing Namjoon’s phone a blinking light indication he received a text, you want to look as you instead stand up as it buzzes again.

The text reading:

I’ll meet you tonight after she’s asleep, babe.

With a winky kissy face at the end.