#adhdmeme

“A true princess has ADHD!”

holds out crown

Me, obsessively sweeping all the grit off the fitted sheet with fiery rage in my eyes: “THIS WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE OKAY—“

“Your Highness, we must introduce you to the people that we may scatter flower petals in your path!”

Me, fumbling for nail clipper because one toenail has a tiny corner which catches on the sheets: “The PEOPLE can fkn WAIT—“

“Your Highness? What are you doing?”

Me, collapsed into bed because it took hours to deal with all the sensory distractions and now my muscles won’t support my bones: “I AM GOING TO BED. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE.”

“Um. I’m just going to leave the crown on the dresser, if that is acceptable to Your Highness?” *clonk*

Me, curled up between three pillows, blankets over my head: “Whatever mate but if I wake up and my floor is covered in flower petals, heads will fkn roll, you hear me? And whatever you’re planning, it BETTER not be jasmine. The smell of jasmine makes me wanna puke.”

“…right.” *sounds of people whispering*

“Roses smell icky too.”

“But—!”

“Did you know that mantis shrimp can hit things so fast they create a li’l sonic boom?”

“Your Highness, I— wait. Really?”

*loud snoring*

“You. Over there. Hoover up these rose petals. I need to go google some shit before she wakes up.”

———