#adhdlove

Like body doubling. He is sick tonight, and I had a boatload of laundry to fold (an ADHD horror story in one sentence). And one thing that makes folding laundry tolerable is having him in the room with me. Not helping, because I hate the way he folds shirts (another reason he could get bitchy but never does), but just in the room. He and I chat, usually about nothing in particular, and suddenly the laundry is done.

But tonight he was sick. And he could've said that he didn't want to drag his sick body off the couch and into the bedroom just to watch me fold laundry. That would've been a normal, understandable thing.

But not this man.

Not only did he come with me, he looked up interesting questions for us to discuss while I folded the clothes. Thoughtful ones and dumb ones and just oddball things to chat about. He can barely breathe through his nose, has had a headache for three days, and still put in the effort to support me the way that I needed.

And I know we spend a lot of time praising men for the Bare Minimum, and this might feel like one of those times. But the truth is that he legitimately doesn't see any of this as "effort". What for me feels like a monumental act of selflessness and caring is for him a normal part of being my partner. He doesn't want gratitude for this incredible act of service any more than I do for folding the laundry. This is part of what being my partner means for him, and there is actually no part of him that is even secretly resenting it.