#adhdemon

Also Me: [gets said paperwork done in under 5 minutes along with clearing out 3 inboxes, making future appointments, and diabolical political plans]

Go outside - fresh air

Go outside - sunshine

Exercise

Stretches

Social time - in person (being around ppl without actually engaging with them; ie mall, cafe, train, bus, etc)

Social time - friends n fam (actual peopley engagement)

Physical contact - platonic (hugs, kisses, cuddles, caresses)

Physical contact - nonplatonic (snuggles, makeout, make me feel hot n bothered and gimme dat sweet sweet relief)

Antisocial time

Horizontal time / Nap

It's not easy to be neurodivergent. It's different, challenging in end-stage capitalism, and frustrating (for reasons differing from typical norms). The most conflicting part of it [for me, personally] has to be the disproportionate perception of measurement, substance, time, tangibility, etc... I have an example... kinda... bear with me.

My neurospicy brain requires a sense of tangibility, significance, and/or volume when it comes to accomplishments, points of reference (touchstones, pivots, revelations), and terminations. Brain needs fireworks (visceral/tangible event, circumstance, etc) to celebrate (or panic) or mark some point in time/reality. I write my stories by hand because the scrolling window of my computer screen does not give my nervous system tangible data for measuring my accomplishments. I abhor digitized money because I feel like I have none by not having the coins/papers in hand/wallet. I don't feel like I've lost weight until my clothes feel like sacks hanging on by a shoulder or belt.

Unfortunately for this perception of measurement, most changes and improvements throughout life are subtle. And I mean really subtle. They creep up on us from behind as we pass an alley and we don't notice them for a few blocks and treat them like we have to escape them, whether or not they're a good thing.

My therapist pointed out (I'm paraphrasing): "You're in your Season of Recovery. Based on what you've already said*, you're not in the healing bits anymore. You've entered your personal renaissance, operating from discovery, interest, creativity, and that zest for living."

*There was a lot of me talking about perspective shift and feeling less like I was actively processing certain traumas, and more like I was telling the story of what I've been through via writing and illustration without getting yoinked into the memories.