If you are a parent ADHD modifications.
If you are a parent of a child with ADHD (or even for yourself). It is OKAY to give accommodations or modifications in your home life. It is okay to work with your child to create a schedule or ways in which things are done around the house.
For example. I always hated doing the dishes, the feeling of stuff floating around was super icky and I hated it. Instead of telling me as a child to suck it up, ask your child WHY they don't like. Make the accommodation of giving them gloves to use or a different type of brush.
If your child struggles with time management. Buy some clocks, set extra reminders TAlk to your child, ask them how many reminders and when do they want them before you are ready to leave the house. I.e. we are leaving in two hours, go take a shower, we are leaving in half an hour and a half start getting dressed. We are leaving in 30 mins, five mins etc.
You should not get mad at your child when they struggle with something if you have not spoken to them about the issue and accommodations that they need to make it easier.
This is so important for two reasons.
1) it is showing the child that with interventions their symptoms can be managed. It also shows that if something doesn't work, you can try different things to help. There won't be an internalization of " I am lazy, I am dumb, I am bad". It will instead be " I need to try something else to be successful"
2) it models how to A) put into words the problem and how they are feeling. The child is learning to express with words (written or otherwise) and their issues are taken seriously. This will not only make your life easier but it will make it easier in school for the child to have this skill to say " I am struggling with this because". they might not have those communication skills yet but it will be easier for them to say I don't want to do this right now because I am angry. Then just letting them have an adhd meltdown.
B) IT TEACHES THEM HOW TO ASK FOR ACCOMMODATIONS. This is SO So SO important. Whether they are in k-12 or not, being self advocates is one of the most important skills that they will learn. The child being active in IEP meetings or having the ability to go to their case manager and saying " this accommodation is not working or this teacher is not giving me what I need". This skill is so important. (Of course have them talk to you first before they go in lol). It is teaching them that their accommodations are nothing to be embarrassed about and that they need to be taken seriously. Which will make all the difference in college.
It also makes the difference in the workforce as well. Being able, as an adult to ask for accommodation will be very different than in education and the way to go about that will be different. But your child will already have that groundwork of being a self advocate and be able to speak about what they need in order to be successful.. and even if their request isn't granted, the y will know that their success and self worth is not wrapped in their ability to complete the task well.
So, recap: talk to your kids (and yourself) about why things are bothering them and what can be done to make the tasks easier. Set up a plan and teach them to communicate their needs and stand by them. Take them seriously.
Feel free to post things that either worked or didn't work for you as a child or a parent around the topic. It would be great to see what everyone has gone through.
