#adhd fluff

Ghost

You were just putting away the dishes from your dinner when you heard the front door open. Your heart lurched into your throat knowing who just came home. You bolted around the corner and there he was. The hulking figure of your boyfriend Simon. His frame took over most of the space of the short hallway as he moved to take off his jacket. You knew he needed a little time to adjust before he would be able to give you attention so you waited, though still hopping from one excited foot to the other quickly. Grinning wildly and lightly giggling.   

You heard a long sigh coming from Simon and your heart sank a little. It must have been a draining mission. He lifted his head and his dark eyes looked at you wearily. You stopped hopping immediately and a cold, cold shiver ran over your back. You saw the haunted look in your boyfriends eyes and you didn’t know how to help him best right now. Then, to really spike your panic, you saw Simon shake his head and move backwards to the door. “I can´t deal with this tonight” was all he murmured before he turned and left your shared apartment, leaving you standing there with the most horrible feeling in your stomach.

Simon was at a loss. He was sitting in a quiet corner of his favourite Pub, sulking into his pint. The last mission almost cost him every single one of his team members. Johnny was still in hospital. He just couldn’t deal with bubbly, happy or hyper right now. At least that´s what he thought. His fist clenched around the glass when he tried to suppress his self-loathing. Wasn’t your talkative person and happy nature exactly what had enticed him in the first place? What was he doing? Instead of listening to you ramble about your day, about the newest plant you got or how much you enjoyed cooking this new dish, effectively draining all the bad thoughts from his mind, he was sitting alone in a Pub, still thinking about the horrors of the last couple of weeks.

He knew all you´d wanted to do a couple of hours ago was envelop him into your arms and making him feel home. A huge gash opened in his chest. Growling at himself he stood and left the Pub. He had to see you right now.

In your apartment you sat on the couch, trying to read one of your favourite books and not feel rejected by the one you loved. You really tried to understand why he left. Why he left you with these words hanging in the air. Where you really too much? You were just excited. Was that too much as well? You felt your eyes sting. The front door opened and your heart plummeted into your stomach.

He needed space, so you stayed seated and decided you wouldn’t bother him with your presence until he really wanted it. At the door, Simon waited for your hurried footsteps, craving your hug more than anything. But nothing came. No footsteps, no happy squeal, nothing. He knew he´d fucked up big time then.

As he walked into the living room and saw you sitting on the couch, his heart squeezed painfully when you wouldn’t look at him. He heard you sniffle and immediately went over to you. “I´m sorry, dove. I´m so, so sorry” he whispered when he sat down and immediately pulled your whimpering form onto his lap. You held onto his shirt and marvelled in his scent and warm, firm chest. Simon buried his head into your hair and still continued to apologise. “I stepped over the line when I said what I said, my love. I can deal with it! I need your bubbly self, especially now. I´m so sorry.” His big arms caged you in and slowly you came down. Warmth and love melted into your veins again as you spoke.

“If you need more space from me when you come back, just let me know before you come home. So I´m not a bother.” You heard a desperate sound crawling up his throat when he repositioned you to look into your eyes. His big hands were framing your face when he said in a choked up voice “No. No, don’t ever hide who you are from me. I´m the one who needs to work on this. You did nothing wrong.” He sighed. “I thought I couldn’t deal with it but the truth is, it made everything much worse. I need your adorable rambling when I come back so I don’t have to think about what happened. It just took me a while to realise and I´m incredibly sorry. I´ll do better, I promise. I love you.” You shook your head and lovingly stroked his face. “Just let me know exactly what you need and I´ll adjust. Just don’t push me away like that. I love you just as much.” He kissed your fingertips, your nose, your forehead and finally your lips. “Never again, love. I promise.” You smiled against his lips and kissed them again.

Cuddling on the couch for several minutes he could feel the words stuck on your tongue just dying to come out. “What is it?” he asked with a grin. You grinned back just as wide. “I bought a new plant” you said with a giggle. Simon sighed happily and nodded his head. “Of course you did” he said lovingly. “Go on then, show me.”

Price

John had been home for about three days now and was still on edge. He really tried not to let it show or not make you worried about him. He still had a lot of paperwork to fill out and visits to the base. You wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible so you decided to really scrub down the flat.

You were really proud of yourself when you finally came to the last room, John´s office. It smelled of leather, John and faint cigar smoke. Smiling fondly you looked at the clean and organised desk. John´s things always had a designated place to be, at least on his desk. Smiling giddily you took a picture frame into your hands. It showed John and you at one of Gaz´s barbeques. John had a beer bottle in hand, red cheeks and smiling so wide, his eyes were completely closed. The picture was made just as you´d jumped onto his back clumsily, almost making him fall. You were perched on his back, your arms thrown around his shoulders. John was leaning forward slightly but already had one hand securely and possessively on your thigh, holding you to him. At this very moment you felt so incredibly lucky to have met him.

John came back later that evening, just as you started preparing dinner. He looked exhausted and a little annoyed as he entered the kitchen and living space, smiling at you shortly and kissing your forehead. You hummed sweetly. “I cleaned the whole apartment today” you said grinning. John raised an eyebrow and looked around. His lips twitched. “You did good, love. Everything´s so orderly.” You knew how much he loved it when the lovely chaos you preferred living in was a little more controlled. You giggled and kissed his cheek. “Get washed up, dinner will be ready soon.” He gave you a grateful smile and nodded, leaving the kitchen.

Several minutes later you heard heavy footsteps stomping down the hallway. Curious you looked at the door just as John walked in. His shoulders were tense and his blue eyes blitzed dangerously and annoyed. “Did you clean my office as well?” he asked quickly, crossing his arms over his chest. You blinked. “Yes, why?” you asked. He shook his head and huffed. “Then I´m sure you can tell me where the bloody hell my work phone is!” You took a short step back when you heard him raise his voice that way. Slight panic settled into your chest. “Uhm” you said and tried to think if you saw his phone. “I´m not sure if…” “You´re not sure? Ok. I´m sure,___. It was on my desk when I left. You know how important that thing is? Where did you put it?” Your head was reeling when you really tried to think if you removed the phone from his desk. “I-I don’t remember” you said breathlessly. John groaned.

“You know, what good is it that you finally clean up your clutter if you remove the things that I actually need?”

Immediately after he closed his mouth he saw you fall into yourself. Your shoulders sagged, your whole face showed panic and bewilderment. Worst of all however was the moment he saw all the light vanish from your eyes. He knew instantly he made a huge mistake. Yes, he was annoyed, but it wasn’t like the phone was gone forever. The both of you just had to find it. When you turned around he knew you didn’t want him to see you like that. He felt terrible. You´d put up with his demeanour for the last couple of days and the first inconvenience made him explode like that. He heard you sniffle.

“___” he said in a small voice, walking over to you. “___, love, I´m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me to say. It´s just a phone. We´ll find it.” He saw you nod but you didn’t turn around. “Baby” he tried again. This time you did turn around and his heart almost gave out. Your eyes were brimming with tears but they looked at him with no emotion at all. Your mouth was a straight line and your jaw was set. “You know I have trouble remembering things. You know that keeping up with one task at the time is basically impossible for me.” He nodded and hung his head. “I know” he said slowly. You huffed. “I´m sorry. I´ll find your phone as soon as dinner is ready.”

John shook his head, walked over and turned off the stove. You looked at him curiously. He grabbed your hand and led you over to the sofa. He urged you to sit down and the moment you did, he knelt on the floor in front of you and touched his forehead to your knees. He breathed you in for several moments before lifting his head. “I really should learn how to prioritise things better. I know how to keep everything orderly and all that but…now it´s not only me and my job. Now it´s also you and me. I sometimes forget about that, my love and I am sorry.”

You looked down at him and felt your anger, embarrassment and shame slowly fade. You nodded weakly. “My sweet girl” he whispered and held you face in his palms. “I really appreciate that you did this. That you put up with me as well. I know I haven’t been very communicative with you.” You lightly shrugged and he shook his head. “You can´t just let me get away with these things, my love. Please. I know it´s hard for you, but you can hold me accountable for what I´m doing or saying.”

“Okey” you said and breathed in deep. “You´re right. What you said was absolutely uncalled for. It hurt and embarrassed me. I´m not proud of the way I let things go sometimes. It takes an immense amount of effort to even come to the point of wanting to organise and clean stuff.” John stroked his thumbs lovingly over your cheeks. “And I´m sorry about your phone, John. I promise, I´ll help you find it.” He sighed deeply and pulled your head towards him. Hesitating for a moment to see your reaction, you smiled at him and leaned down more to kiss him. A relieved breath escaped his nose when he kissed you back right away. You detached from him again and with pure joy he saw the light back in your eyes.

“Let´s have dinner and then we´ll look for your phone, yeah?” you asked. He nodded immediately and helped you stand again. He pulled you close by the waist and peppered your face with little kisses until you giggled and tried to wriggle out of his hold.

“Can I help?” he asked. You nodded and gestured towards the fridge. “Could you please get the meatballs out?” John nodded and opened the fridge. Stunned, he stood in front of it for a bit too long. You looked over to him questioningly. “John? What is it? The meatballs are right there.”

He nodded slowly and then his shoulders started to shake with laughter. “What?” you asked perplexed.

John, still giggling, closed the fridge with the platter of meatballs in one hand and his work phone in the other. Your eyes went round and a blush crept up your neck and up to your cheeks. “Oh, Jesus…”

Both of you started laughing again and John went over to you and held you in his strong arms until you both stopped, short of breath. He leaned his head against yours and very softly said “I love you so much.”

König

Laughing hysterically at one of Soap´s jokes you clutched König´s arm next to you and buried your head in his shoulder. The latest mission was over and the 141 decided to wind down at one of the local pubs. König had asked you to join them and shortly after you walked into the pub and jumped into your lovers arms without hesitation. He lifted you up and swung you from side to side before holding your face gently and kissing you long and hard. The whoops and hollers from Gaz and Johnny were ignored by the two of you. You were just happy to be with each other again.

Your happiness bubbled through every pore in your body, the alcohol in your system making you relaxed and buzzing. You´d bantered with Soap the whole evening. The music and over all volume of the pub forced you to raise your voice once in a while. No one seemed to care though.

With a light kiss to König´s cheek you excused yourself to the bathroom and stumbled over to the little door. König watched your with fond eyes, his heart swelling by the minute. Soaps elbow connecting with his ribs and he gave him a sly wink. “So, when´re you goin´ to ask the lass ta marry your arse?” he asked. König´s face lit up immediately. He grinned shily. “I do have the ring already but…I´m really not sure when I should ask.” Johnny nodded. “Best not wait too long my friend” he said wisely. “Yer not the only one noticin´ her. She surely knows how to present herself.” He winked at König.

König´s eyes had a soft look in them. “Yeah, I know.” He said and sighed deeply. “She´s a LOT!”

Just as he said it, he felt your presence next to him and smiled up at you. Said smile vanished immediately when he saw the hurt on your face. He was a bit bewildered as to why you looked at him like her whole world just collapsed. Without saying anything you turned around and stormed towards the doors. “___!” he yelled and scrambled from his seat in the booth going after you.

Outside he looked left and right quickly and spotted you walking briskly away from the venue to his right. He started running and thanks to his long legs it didn’t take him much time to catch up with you. The moment he reached out for your arm and you whipped around shaking it off, his heart broke into a million pieces. Tears were streaming down your face and deep, deep hurt was still edged onto your features. “Liebling, what-?” “I´m a lot, huh? König, do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? You making fun of me in front of our friends?” You hiccupped and wiped your face with your sleeve.

König´s heart began to hammer in his chest. “Making fun of you? I didn´t. How could I make fun of you?” He started hyperventilating a little when you flinched away from his touch yet again. “What´d I do?” he asked in a panicked voice.  You huffed disbelievingly. “You said I was a lot to handle, König. That´s so…rude. You know I can´t control how loud I am sometimes.” König´s eyes went wide.

“A lot to handle….” He whispered desperately. “No. No, Liebling, that´s not what I meant at all!” You gave him a questioning look. “I´d never say something like that about you.”

“Then what did you mean? König, saying someone is a lot, is quite-“

“A lot of perfect!! You´re…you´re perfect” he almost yelled at you, desperate to bring his point across. “I sometimes don’t really know the words to express what I´m trying to say but, mein Schatz….I´d never willingly hurt you or try to put you down like that.”

A feeling of shame overcame you. Here was this wonderful, soft man just trying to get through the day as best he can. You should´ve considered that English wasn’t his first language.

“König” you said breathily and reached out your hand which he immediately took. “I´m sorry. I should´ve talked to you first but…you know, being a bother or too much….it´s just one of the things that make me very insecure.” König lifted your hand to his lips immediately and you could have cried again by the way he so gently kissed your knuckles.

“You´re not too loud, or too talkative, or too forward. You´re too much…you! Sometimes I don´t know how to tell people that I would literally kill for you. That I would do anything to make you happy!”

Your arms wined themselves around his neck as you pulled him down for a passionate kiss. “I love you, König” you said against his mouth. “I´m sorry I stormed out like that.” He shook his head and brushed his nose with yours. “I love you too, my love. So much.” You grinned and hugged him again, having to stand on your tiptoes to do so. He pressed another kiss to your forehead. “Will you come back inside? The evening is still young” he asked. You nodded immediately and took his large hand in yours.

König´s heart raced and he knew exactly what to do to erase every single doubt from your mind. As he guided you back to the pub, his other hand that wasn´t holding yours gently thumbed at the locket around his neck, containing the ring he wanted to give you since day one.

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Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know in the comments what you think about this take. A like and reblog is of course always appreciated <3