OKAY SO I JUST FOUND THE MOST HILARIOUS FANFIC DRAFT IN MY NOTEBOOK AND I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER WRITING IT I AM CRINGING SO MUCH
3, 7, 26.
Astrid’s locker door still wouldn’t open. She kicked it in frustration. Unlike the movies, the locker did not magically open. She gritted her teeth and prayed to the gods before entering her combination one more time.
3, 7, 26.
Nothing happened.
If the locker was a human, it would be crying very loudly by now because of all the kicks it got. The locker could die for all she cared.
“Bruh.” (bRUH I’M SCREAMING WHY OH WHY DID I WRITE THAT)
She closed her eyes. “What do you want, Ruff?”
Ruffnut Thorston’s smirking face was not welcome at all. Her locker would not open, and she was not in the mood to carry out whatever crazy, stupid scheme Ruff, her brother, and his pet chicken had cooked up.
“Locker problems?” her retarded best friend asked. (I’M CRYING I’M SO SORRY GUYS I WAS LIKE THIS AT ONE POINT)
“No, I just like standing around and kicking it for no reason.”
Ruff blinked once, then twice. “Well, that’s weird.”
The girl exploded.
“Yes I have locker problems you dimwit! This stupid thing won’t open! You do it for the love of Thor!” (Past me: “THEY MUST USE THOR AND ODIN IN EVERY SENTENCE THEY USE!”)
“Alright, Ast, whatever you say,” Ruff responded in a sing-song voice. She stepped forwards, leaned down, and in thirty seconds Astrid’s locker was open.
Astrid gaped and her arms fell limply to her sides. “How did - what - how did you do that?”
Her friend leaned in close, as though to tell a secret, and whispered, “Illuminati magic.”
She punched her shoulder. Hard.
“You twit. Tell me what you did.”
Rubbing her arm and scowling, Ruff said, “I entered the combination, genius. I know it, remember? You told me.”
“But that doesn’t make sense,” Astrid argued, as she got her books out, “I must’ve tried a thousand times. And, Odin help me, do not start singing ‘Hello’ because then I will dig your grave a thousand time.” (Back when I thought Astrid was cool and didn’t realize she was a giant dork.)
“Oh yeah?” Ruffnut challenged. “Alright. Enter your combination, Ms. Perfect. If it works, then I will scream ‘Hello’ into your ear. Don’t diss Adele.”
AND THAT’S IT IT ENDS RIGHT THERE. I THINK THE PLOT WAS GOING TO BE THAT ASTRID WAS ENTERING HICCUP’S LOCKER COMBO BY MISTAKE BECAUSE SHE’S SO USED TO IT. HOLY HELL, MY WRITING SUCKED IN THE BEGINNING OF 2016. THAT WASN’T SO LONG AGO. OH MAN.
