#addawareness

I feel so much right now. but if you were to ask me, I can’t tell you. not that I don’t want to, but because I don’t know how to express what i’m feeling. at least not in words, and it’s so frustrating. it feels like i’m bottling up everything but it won’t come out. all of these feelings, they’re locked up. and it makes me angry, it makes me sad, makes me confused. is it even possibly to not know how your feeling? well, i’m proof.

something intresting that I discovered about myself is that tho I have a hard time learning and understanding concepts, my intuition comes into play. I wonder if those with adhd are prone to having good intuition. I noticed that when i’m taking tests, that somtimes I just know what answer looks right without being able to explain why. like it’s a feeling I get, telling me which one to choose, and it happens quite often. and this method works for me sometimes, like I end up answering those questions right! is anyone else like this?

I’ve noticed my earliest symptoms around my freshman year. I noticed that reading comprehension was nearly impossible for me. I had to take reading up to me freshman year, when normally most kids in my grade passed it in 7th grade. That’s 3 times taking that class. I didn’t think much of it, I just thought reading wasn’t my for-tae. Looking at the social aspect of my freshman year, I had a hard time making friends. I always laid low and was super polite to everyone but I was never that girl with many friends. Even my closest friends at school weren’t even close to me sadly. I honestly was only friends with them because I didn’t want to be alone so I guess it worked. Then sophomore year came along, I switched to a private school because I could no longer stand my public school with all my fake friends. Good thing is, I had a lot of close friends at my new school because a lot of them went to my church. This made things a bit easier for me. There were only about 20 kids in the entire 11th grade so I guess you can say it was easy to get to know everyone. Anyways, I started dual enrollment that year. Thats when I noticed I had more than just a reading problem. I remember sitting in class listening to my teacher….and I just remember not understanding a thing coming out of his mouth. Yes he was speaking proper english, yes he was speaking at a decent speed, and yes I recognized the words he was saying, but all of those words meant nothing to me. I can hear them clearly, but no meaning processed in my head. This made me very frustrated. I always thought of myself as stupid honestly. I never understood why it was so hard for me but so easy for everyone else. That’s when my esteem started getting low. Junior year comes and I start pulling C’s in all my classes, nearly failing most of them. Studying was such a huge challenge because I procrastinated most of the time. I didn’t wanna deal with the studying because I knew it wouldn’t help anyways. I never really made it past an hour of studying because my brain would already give up after a short period of time. During lecture all I got out was gibberish. My entire life started to become gibberish. Again, in Social situations I would speak and then lose my train-of-thought right in the middle of my sentences. I would listen to people speak to me and I wouldn’t understand a thing. This was extremely embarrassing when they were expecting feedback from me. This caused me to be socially awkward sometimes and I hate it because I’m such a people person. This caused me to start shutting my friends out. I would turn down anyone who would try to make plans to hang out with me. I even quite my job because of this. I never told anyone that and am finally saying it for the first time. I told everyone I quite it because of the sucky pay, which was the truth but not the main reason. I quite it because I was scared of failure. I remember the worst day I ever had at work. My boss was giving me directions to complete a task and the entire day I had to keep asking her things she already told me. I noticed her frustration and I started freaking out. I could tell she thought I was slow and I started having a breakdown internally. I was so nervous and worked up that I faked being sick and went home early. I remember that day so well, and I remember bawling my eyes on the drive home. I never felt so impaired. It was that day when I realized I had to fix this. So I finally told my mom I needed to get checked out. I forgot to mention but this was my senior year already. Anyways, it's really hard for me to talk about my adhd, even to my mom. But I did eventually. I had too. Shortly after graduation I finally get to take my test. What a relief that I was finally doing this. Even though it was quite obvious that I had adhd, I knew in my heart that I needed that exact answer. I needed it to be official. I don't know why, but I did. My test results came out a week later and I finally get diagnosed with inattentive deficit disorder. Now all I need to do is work on myself from here. That's all I can do. I want to get better. I no longer want to allow my disability to set me back in life. I want to beat it. I now have been going to therapy every other week to talk about it. Once I start school, I do plan on starting the medication so we'll see how much of a difference it'll make. Anyways, for any of you out there going through the same thing as I am, feel free to share your experiences too and spread awareness to this. I'd love to hear your feedback.

Meet JULIA and all her positivity and amazing view on ADD. Link in the bio ⬇️ . . . @mymistag #mistag #mentalhealthstigma #mentalillnessstigma #add #addawareness #livingwithadd #thisiswhatmentalillnesslookslike #attentiondeficitdisorder #panicdisorder #panicattacks #womanwithadd #stopthestigma #stoptheshame (à Canada) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4Ceshdpwfk/?igshid=o202i3epsscx

"Hey Jack! I’m Becca; I did a some of the art for this game, but you probably haven’t seen it yet. (Most of my stuff is in the credits, so play all the way through.) Anyway, I know you’ve got tons of lovely people to talk to, so I’ll try to be brief. (Haha.) I’ve been a part of the community for two years now, and I’ve absorbed a lot of your positive energy and messages about ‘keep smiling’ and such, most of us have. But what really touched me was, uh, I think it was last summer? I don’t remember how it all started, but you ended up taking several ADD/ADHD tests over about a week. Those made me more nervous than I’d ever confess. See, I’ve had almost 20 years to come to terms with my ADHD, the static fuzz, the jittering, the tongue-tying and losing – or forgetting – things all the time, and just the overall sense of being the class clown and laughed at or an embarrassment to be around. It’s hasn’t been easy. Actually, most of the time it’s very, very hard. But never once has it, or my struggles, or mental illness, ever actually felt validated. Here in the U.S., the two are a catch-all. They aren’t considered anywhere near as serious as other illnesses so they aren’t taken as seriously. Or seriously at all. Never in almost 20 years have I heard someone actually … someone actually validate all my struggles. And not just mine! There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions of us in the community, and a few that helped build this game, that all struggle with ADD/ADHD, and every single person that I’ve talked to has expressed the same thing: an overwhelming gratitude for someone that we all look up to for finally taking these illnesses seriously, and treating them respectfully. … So, thank you for that. From me, from them, from all of us, thank you. (Oh, gee I’m rambling. And also crying.) Whether you are ADD/ADHD yourself, Jack, you’ve been a bigger ally to us than you may ever understand. Thank you. Can I – can I get a high five for us all? And a hug, if we ever meet in person? … Well, sorry for rambling like that, but thanks for playing the game! So many terrific people worked really hard on it! Uh, you better get going and keep mingling, though. ‘A rolling stone’ and all that. See you around!" Above is the message (and screencaps of) the message I left for @therealjacksepticeye in @sarcastic-pasta-games‘s “The Boss”, what, two years ago? Recently, I was contacted by the very sweet @edgarpie339, about how much my message meant to them, and how true my words proved. Originally in the video, my message launched Sean into another one of his infamous rambles about mental health and how respectful he tries to be of all variations of mental illnesses, but EdgerPie reaching out to me meant so much more than that. My message was designed to impact Sean and get the appreciation of everyone in this tribe across to him, but was also to reach out to others and offer a little hope and support. I can’t express how much it means to me that it worked.

I've started a tumblr for these comics. www.adventures-with-add.tumblr.com if you're interested. #add #adhd #mentalhealth #mentalillness #adhdproblems #adhdawareness #addawareness #addproblems (at Goose Bay, Newfoundland and Labrador)