#add diary

Honestly I think it’s really helping. I can focus harder and schoolwork isn’t as hard to complete. I still have trouble staying consistently focused but it’s getting better. One downside I’ve really noticed are the mood swings.

It’s not severe, but I’ve noticed I’ve been a lot more sensitive when I don’t eat enough food. I need to snack repeatedly to keep my blood sugar up or I can get withdrawn and angry.

So it’s about an hour after my meds have started/are/have worn/wearing off and there is definitely a noticeable difference. Could be because of or amplified by my period, but I’ve noticed a negative change in mood and attitude.

I’ve been relatively calm and happy all day and the past hour or so, I’ve been ridiculously hungry and dinner was like two hours late and I’ve been getting more and more hangry and sensitive. And I am already having trouble focusing. And I’ve started getting a headache since it started wearing off.

So I’m still not on Concerta.

But I have my Concerta prescription. For 30 pills. That cost me way too much. So now I’m paying towards Pharmacare and Plan G, which is a plan that covers psychiatric medication. This will eventually pay 100% of my medication costs once I’ve paid off certain deductibles.

In addition, I’m self-decreasing my 15mg Ritalin dose down to 10mg a day, with a plan to fully stop it for ten days, as I’ll be traveling to Europe in three days for Spring Break and really, really don’t want to worry about my medication/side effects.

(Unfortunately, my 10mg only lasts for like 4-5 hours so I’ve been stuck in a weird half focused, lethargic daze for the past couple days.)

SO

I skipped my 5mg Ritalin dose today as I’m likely starting Concerta tomorrow, and need to get Ritalin out of my system. Pretty self explanatory, right? Well.. There’s something I forgot.

I FORGOT HOW MUCH OF A PAIN IN THE ASS MY ADHD IS.

I legitimately just sat in the middle of my living room floor singing different Dodie Clark songs, then watching a paper bag, then wandering around my house, eating lunch, emptying the dishwasher, snacking, singing more bits of Dodie Clark songs, zoning out completely and, among other things I can’t remember, talking to myself about 10 different subjects..

Over the course of 25 minutes.

I still haven’t found a paper I needed to find with my Europe Trip info.

And my parents bought a new truck. Oh and I’m going to get my Concerta prescription filled in a bit.

Welp.

I’ll be going from 15mg of Ritalin to 18mg of Concerta to see if that helps my anxiety and focus issues a bit more, I’m just waiting on the Special Authority to come through to help the cost. So no anxiety medication for now..

Okay, I might give it a shot if my sleep problems worsen then :) (even without Ritalin, I have a couple of sleep issues regardless tbh)..