#actuallybed

I’m watching Grace and Frankie again for the third time and I love these lesbians. 

I got all my notes done, bought new sharpies and groceries, and I turned in my Discussions. I have an assignments and quizzes due in all three classes so I’ll work on them tmw and *fingers crossed* next week will be more interesting!

I’m using the Happy Planner system (Mini for myself and Large for my family) and I adore the Mini. It’s just big enough that I can fit everything in, but not so large that I get overwhelmed by by the amount of white space that I need to deal with. I don’t understand why that causes me anxiety which causes me to Avoid Avoid Avoid, but it does. 

I experienced some binge eating today, but it wasn’t too bad. I ate three slices of wheat bread (so I’ll be achy and gross tomorrow from the gluten, thanks bread!) with peanut butter and raisins on top of “lunch”, so it’s not like I’m digging food out of the garbage (been there done that). I wasn’t out of control enough to do that, and I did not order pizza that I can’t afford, and I made healthy choices (minus the gluten). As I was eating it I was away that I was eating it and maybe it was too much but I gave myself permission to eat it with the realization that it wasn’t the best choice for my health goals. 

But also I was hungry. I wasn’t starving, but I wasn’t satiated, so I ate it. 

And for dinner I wasn’t super hungry after all that so I had some apple slices, yogurt, and strawberries so I made a healthy choice and I’m not going to eat the sugar cookies in there because I’m hungry right now. 

I’m not necessarily trying to lose weight but also I need to eat better. I eat things I’m supposed to and not in the “making judgments about the morality of food” way, but in the “I literally can’t eat gluten because it makes me bloated and gassy and my joints get swollen and I can open my hands if I do.” With a dash of “If I eat this food that has garlic or onion in it I will break out in hives and my throat will be itchy so I need to avoid it or I could die”.