When he and I talk about HSAM and SDAM, he sometimes quotes Winnicottβs phrase βthe continuity of being,β from βThe Theory of the Parent-Infant Relationship,β a paper that Winnicott published in 1960, when Eric was not very much older than an infant himself. That is what Eric wishes he could feel when he looks back: the continuity of being.
(link) see this is so interesting because i actually have a very strong sense of "continuity of being," and a seemingly unusually high level of memory regarding my childhood. my wife will remember things from e.g. middle school but they say that they've changed so much as a person that they don't really "feel like" the same person who had those experiences. whereas even if i would make different choices now, even a memory of being five or six years old feels like a memory of being fundamentally the same person as i am now. (my wife also has very few memories of childhood before age 11ish.)
but as an adult my autobiographical memory is...not good!! it can be very hard for me to remember if i did a certain task, if i'm repeating myself, etc, and i often have to just trust people that we talked about x or y because i don't remember even when prompted. but i also do have semi-frequent random memory triggers like the author with the highly superior memory describes, and they can be very vivid. it all seems very contradictory.
