I wanna give a huge shoutout to people with phobias. (long post ahead)

I've seen a lot of ignorant people (most of them healthcare providers) over the course of my time as a person with a severe needle phobia, so I've compiled a list of things that have made my blood absolutely boil and either don't help or actively worsen my phobia.

Saying "it's just a little needle", "it's not that bad", or anything else that aims to minimize the situation. Phobias are irrational, but the people who have them are not. We're fully aware of how ridiculous phobias are, you don't need to remind us. It's infantilizing and likely to put us on the defensive, which can raise anxiety/adrenaline.

Calling us babies or weak for having a phobia. Phobias are panic disorders. We can't switch them off. Unless you think having a mental illness is a weakness (which I hope you don't) it's illogical and hurtful to apply this kind of thinking to us.

Physically restraining us. Physical restraints are bad. Really fucking bad. If done wrong (or even when done correctly) they can seriously injure or kill someone. If a person with a needle phobia is attempting to leave the situation, they are engaging the "flight" part of "flight or fight". So what happens if flight becomes unavailable? We fight. I've injured people who have restrained me in the past. It's not conscious or intentional, it's pure instinct. It can also be traumatizing to be exposed to something you're terrified of and forced to undergo a procedure, even if you agreed to it previously. Let me repeat that for emphasis. Even if a person previously agreed to undergo a procedure, it can still be traumatic if they attempt to retract consent and aren't allowed to.

Trying to scare us. When in a calm state we might decide, on our own, to weigh the risks and rewards of getting a procedure involving a needle done. And sometimes our anxiety about not getting a procedure done outweighs anxiety of getting the procedure done and we decide to go through with it. But if you attempt to scare us into a procedure involving a needle, we can tell. And once we figure out what you're doing, we can no longer trust the information you're giving us. I've known doctors who have exaggerated or straight up lied to me about what would happen if I didn't get a vaccine. Even if you're 100% truthful, tone matters. Don't act concerned, angry, or like you're talking to a child. Give us the facts in a calm, professional manner, and let us work on the rest.

Insisting on talking about needles even when we've asked to stop/said we're done. If you're discussing a procedure involving needles with a trypanophobic person and they say anything to the effect of "I don't want to talk about this anymore", the conversation is over. It doesn't matter if you just had some great revelation or if what you have to say is really important. Keep it to yourself. We usually won't cut off a conversation about our phobia until it reaches a point where we can't handle it anymore. If you keep pushing, you might trigger a panic attack.

Exposing us to needles without our consent. "But exposure therapy!" I hear you saying, and to that I respond "shut up and fuck off, you don't know what that is". Exposure therapy is when a person with trauma, OCD, a phobia, or another disorder that can be triggered chooses to slowly, in a controlled environment, expose themself to a trigger. Exposure therapy can't be done to a person, only by a person. For a trypanophobic person, this might be looking at pictures of people getting injections. When they've had enough and are getting too stressed, they can simply close the tab and move on to something less stressful. Sending someone pictures of needles, taking them to places where needles might be, pretending that you're going to jab them, those things aren't exposure therapy. That's emotional abuse, repeatedly exposing someone to something that you know triggers panic in them for your own amusement.

Shaming us for the "damage" we could be doing. Herd immunity is important. It's important because it protects those who can't be vaccinated, including some of us. I was at a point a few years ago where I physically couldn't enter a room where I knew a needle was going to be used on me. My body just wouldn't move that way. Since physical restraining isn't an option, if someone can't bring themself to get a vaccine on their own due to a phobia, they're vaccine exempt. End of story.

Shaming us for not actively working on recovering. First of all, there's no way for you to know if someone is working on their phobia or not. Second of all, there are a lot of valid reasons to not be recovering. The main one that comes to mind is external stress. When my needle phobia was at its worst I was in 10th grade, the hardest grade at my school. I was barely staying afloat as it was. Treating your day-to-day stress has to come before working on a bigger, less present issue.

Asking us when we're going to get over/grow out of it. Phobias vary in severity and ease of management. Some people are never able to manage their phobia. Some people learn to manage it very quickly. Some people benefit from simple techniques like deep breathing and distraction, some people need more advanced help. Some people are able to participate in exposure therapy, some are too overwhelmed by their trigger to even try. Like any other mental illness, phobias are complicated and no two phobic people are exactly alike. Applying your expectations of recovery on us doesn't help and can vary from annoying to hurtful.