i could go on for AGES about how much i adore the characters and themes and worldbuilding and especially the twists- but for the sake of attempted brevity, i want to focus on my favorite cttv character: impulse of the sv
it's just. i get him, you know? he feels like he was abandoned by his closest friends, while he was still holding the corpse of his best friend. and mostly that was due to outside manipulation, but fuck, he must have felt so alone. ghost hunting isn't a hobby that opens up social circles; i think, for him, jits was one of the only people he could rely on, and in one day he watched them die and leave him. of course he turned to the only thing he thought could help. of course he spiralled, with nobody there to support him.
and he wants to live!! he wants both him and skizz to live!!! he doesn't want to die, he wasted so much life trying to keep them alive, and it doesnt make it right that he nearly killed tango and joker for that, but his desperation feels so real
and!! he was going to kill grian and scar at first!! and he DIDN'T!!! impulse isn't malicious, he's just lonely and desperate and he's kind at the heart of him, he was going to kill two strangers but he couldn't because he cared about them, and he was genuinely going to let him and skizz die with no sacrifice available. he only changed his mind when he met tango and joker again. gods, being alone for so long messed him up and he clearly blames them for it. again, there was outside influence involved, but as someone who has personally experienced what it feels like to be lost in a terrible situation and have others turn their back on you because of it- it's an ouroborous of all bad.
of course he wanted to trade their lives. of course he chose not to.
your impulse takes are always MWAH (see: lifeline au) and my gods this is no exception <3
Oh my gosh thank you!! I think I've mentioned before that this is a fic that I'm a little more insecure about, so it really means a lot to hear people say that they like it. I have more thoughts about your thoughts, but I will put them under a cut because this is already pretty long!
I think you've absolutely nailed what's going through ACttV!Impulse's head. The night Skizz died and JITS disbanded was massively traumatic for him (for all of them!) and set him on a spiral that ended up driving him further away from any potential avenue of support and further into things that were dangerous and arcane and damaging for him. Impulse in the 5 years between Skizz's death and resurrection was not a well man, and I think a lot of the things that happened in that time were also deeply traumatising in a way that he never fully processed or healed from. Which is part of why there's so much anger towards Joker and Tango--maybe if they'd have stayed, they could have resurrected Skizz together, and Impulse wouldn't have had to do all that alone, and maybe he wouldn't have gotten quite so hurt.
And I have very deliberately written the ghost hunting profession as a dead-end career that isolates the people within it due to its association with death and dark magic. I often think of it as being along the same lines as a garbageman or sanitation worker--a massively societally important job that is both deeply dangerous and looked down upon by most people. Unlike those types of roles, being a ghost hunter does have the chance to net you some good money if you get good at it--but to get good, you have to survive, not only the ghosts but living ostracised on the edge of society, and many people don't. Many people can't. All of our protagonists are a very specific type of person which precludes them from living a normal life and allows them to thrive in that niche of ghost hunter, and that type of person is not exactly the healthiest type of person.
ACttV is very much a story about death, and loss, and regret, and about trying to either outrun a past that is always going to catch up with you, or return to a past that can never exist again. It is also a story about people on the edges of society, who are eschewed by their peers, who live in desperation and danger, and all the ways in which that sort of existence is deeply damaging. Part of the reason GIGGS are so important to each other is because, despite their individual positions as outcasts, they're able to band together in their little found family and find joy in that existence with each other. When the team gets separated and starts to fall apart, so do they, and that's when we see them start to make the unwise decisions they make in the fic--like with Scar joining the Gatekeepers, or Impulse desperately deciding to take Joker and Tango's lives to save his own.
All of this to say: your analysis is exactly correct, and I'm so glad you were able to pick up what I was putting down and find it compelling! Idk if you are much of a music listener, anon, but if you are, perhaps consider checking out the official ACttV playlist--I think it does a pretty good job of musically representing a lot of the themes we're talking about here. (And, if nothing else, listen to How Dare You, which is a perfect summation of Impulse's hurt and anger towards J&T.)
And again, thank you so so much for the kind words, they really mean the world to me <3
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i already posted this on a fic recs thread, but since that doesn't get active tag reach (or something), i'll post it again on my own blog :) because i am insane about @slashmagpie's fics
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Rating: Mature
Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Ghost hunting's not an easy gig. While the rewards can be great, the sacrifices can be greater, and Joker, Impulse, Tango, and Skizz found this out the hard way. Years after they go their separate ways, Tango and Joker are approached by Gem, a member of Impulse's new ghost hunting team—a team that has gone mysteriously missing on a job gone wrong. Gem needs help, and despite all of their years out of the business, Tango and Joker can't resist the call to return to the world of ghost hunting. There are still so many questions they need to answer, after all—like why did Impulse stay, even after everything went wrong? What happened to Gem's team? And why did no one tell them about Skizz?
Additional notes from me:
As far as I know, the MCD is temporary. No one dies for real!
update I lied its real
There's some passive suicidal ideation, so watch out for that
Actual scenes of (implied) suicide, but it's not real. On that note...
Unreality
Some pretty unhealthy, codependent relationships
Anyways! Really, really good fic. Magpie also wrote the Lifeline AU, if you know what that is, and if you're someone who's read LLAU and enjoyed it, OH BOY are you in for a ride with ACTTV. Especially my fellow imp and skizz fans, i'm so normal about them in this fic trust me
LLAU fans, remember Impulse and Skizz's dynamic in the series? yeah this is basically a role reversal and it makes me SICK
No one in this fic is in a particularly healthy mental space, but especially not impulsesv. He is the author's favorite guy to put through So Many issues
Magpie's usual themes of grief and change and betrayal and love!! yay!!
You ever regularly go through a process that is making you slowly lose your sense of self in order to have just a little bit of security? yeah that's [REDACTED] in this fic
Also, a song I heavily associate with this fic: Fire With Fire by AlicebanD! Great song, highly recommend you give it a listen!
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