@hereeatthiskitten âethics smethics that's what pseudonyms are *for*â
I definitely enjoy using a fake name here as much as anybody, but itâs more of a 4th wall thing for me. Once Iâve worked with (or slept with) someone, I canât be a fan anymore. Itâs too intimate. Itâs wrong. Believe me, Iâve tried. Need some distance for imagination. Ever heard the expression âone should never meet oneâs heroâ? (Unless they turn out to actually enrich your quality of life, in which case itâs totally worth giving up a slice of fandom for a piece of that gig/ass.) The more I work and fuck, the more threadbare my fandom life becomes. Best case scenario for my career means I will have to keep scrubbing this blog till thereâs nothing left.Â
Anyway, nothing to worry about, totally fucked up my callback today. Casting director has suddenly taken an interest in me (now that the showâs almost fucking over!), but I was booked for two completely different auditions for different casting directors at the exact same time in the same building today (my agent is drunker than I am), and I had to change emotional gears way too fast. I can do naked-coke-head-party-girl, and I can do down-and-out-victim-of-circumstance, but I need more than like 15 seconds in between to change my clothes and my headspace. Maybe a really amazing actor can do it. Something to work towards.Â
Oh, Iâm back from my mini vacation. Getting on top of those drabbles. Didnât forget.Â