Transparency â Goodbyes â OS
âNo, no, no! This is impossible. Iâm not letting them take my son away from me!â
I was sitting on the ledge of the window watching the crowd outside retreat from the Justice Building the way the tide pulls back into the ocean after racing up on shore when the door flew open. My mother pushed past the Peacekeeper and flung her arms around me, a cry bursting from her mouth as she tightened her hold on me as if I was the only thing keeping her from collapsing where she stood.
Almost immediately the air in the room grew heavier. Her embrace felt toxic and I fought back the urge to pull away, her sobbing and reassurance that âeverything was going to be alrightâ becoming more of an annoyance than comfort..
I bit my tongue and forced a puff of air through my nose in a silent sigh and gave her a pat on the shoulder, not so much out of sympathy or distress, but to give her a sign I acknowledged her presence. Her breath shook as she loosened her hold and sat herself beside me with both arms still locked around my shoulders.
âWeâre going to figure this out, love. Everythingâs going to be okay. Your fatherâs speaking with the Mayor and Peacekeepers right now about getting you out of here. I still have family in the Capitol, there has to be something they can do to help. Anyway to keep you off that train and safe-â
Her voice trailed off as another sob burst aloud. She finally unwrapped her arms and stood to grab a box of tissues across the room. I exhaled deeply with slight relief and reclined back against the glass pane, closing my eyes for a moment and found her staring at me intently when I opened them once more.
I licked my lips and shrugged my shoulders, âI really donât know what you want me to say, or think you can do at this point.â
âThis, this was a mistake. There was no way it could have been-â
The sound of the door crashing open cut her off as she gasped aloud and diverted her attention. Instinctively I got to my feet watching my father charge in with his face twisted into a scowl as he came straight for me.
âCory, what-?â
âThe hell is the matter with you?!â He bellowed, stopping directly in front of me with an intensity in his eyes I had never seen before. I held my ground and met his gaze, unphased. There was little he could do to intimidate me at this point. Technically I was now considered property of the Capitol.
Funny how everything my parents create tends to fall into the governmentâs hand.
âWhatâs happened?-â
âHow many times?â
âCory-â
âHow many times was your name in that bowl?â
The electricity in the air intensified while he and Mom waited on my reply, as if I was hesitant to tell them the truth.
âEleven times.â I said quietly. Momâs eyes widened and she clasped her hands over her mouth as Dad turned away, shaking his head disapprovingly, helplessly. I tensed slightly watching him walk forward. I knew he wasnât done with me.
âWhy?â He turned to face me, âYouâve always had enough food on the table. What were you thinking going to the Capitol for help?â
I clenched my jaw and dug my nails into my palms.
âAnswer me, Aquarius.â He took a step forward, âWhy have you been digging your own grave behind our back-â
âYouâre one to talk.â I scoffed.
âExcuse me?â
âI said, youâre one to talk.â
ââRus, what are you talking about?â Mom spoke.
You could hear a pin drop at this point and my body was beginning to buzz with adrenaline. I didnât plan on things escalating to this level, or Dad finding out that Iâve been taking tesserae over the last two years. I was content making the last time we were all together short and simple, but I knew it would be just as damning to me if I left with a weight pressing down on my shoulders.
What did I have to lose at this point?
âWhat were you both doing while I was gone all those years?â
They exchanged a glance, âWhat does that have to do with-â
âI gave you the truth. You owe me just as much, right?â
Mom pursed her lips, âWe didnât take sides, love. We found refuge with others who claimed neutrality and did what we could to survive.â
A moment of silence hung between us.
âYouâre lying.â
âWeâre not lying, âRu-â
âYes, you are. You lied to me then and youâre lying to me right now.â
âWhere are you getting this from-â
âI saw the files. The diagrams, the photos of those monsters you created during the war.â As I spoke I felt my heart start to race while growing lighter at the same time, âDonât you realize what youâve done? How many innocent people are dead because of you? How many people are going to keep dying-â
âEnough.â Dad stated firmly.
âHow do you fucking live with yourselves knowing youâre responsible for all this?â
âWe did what we felt was right, Aquarius.â He hissed, âThe Capitol has been nothing but generous to us, to everyone, but clearly it wasnât enough for those selfish, rebel bastards. The country would have fallen to complete anarchy had they had their way, and Iâd do it all over again if it meant preserving what we had. Itâs what keeps you safe, Aquarius-â
âPft, yea I see that now.â
âYou did this to yourself, whether you want to admit it or not. No one forced you to put your name in that bowl, and for what? Oil and grain?â
âI did it because it was the right thing to do.â
âTo martyr yourself by helping the scum of the District find a meal?â He scoffed and shook his head, âLook at where itâs landed you, son: Had the Districtâs known their place there would have been no rebellion, no casualties, and no Hunger Games. If you have to blame anyone, blame them.â
âDo you realize how insane you sound right now?â I forced a laugh.
âBoth of you, stop it.â
âYouâre just as guilty as he is!â I raised my voice slightly.
âSo now what, hmm?â Dad picked up, âWhatâre you going to do now that you have the whole truth: sleep sounder at night, tell all your friends and the entire country on national television what your parents are capable of? Take the fall for some rebel scums child because itâs âthe right thing to do?ââ
His taunt made my blood boil, but just like Harpax I wasnât going to give him the satisfaction of breaking in front of him. Instead I let my eyes do all the talking, and as much as I hated to admit it: there wasnât a damn thing I could do at this point.
Not unless I made it home.
âIâm going to do what I need to do to survive.â I rasped firmly.
âTimeâs up.â A Peacekeeper called from the door.
My father stepped forward and lowered his head to my ear, âIf I were you, son, Iâd watch that mouth of yours while youâre out there. You know what happens to rebels who stand against the Capitol.â
He passed me one final stern glare before turning his back and disappearing from sight. Mom was void of any emotion and took a step forward-
âDonât touch me.â I spat.
ââRus, please-â
âYou did this, whether you want to admit it or not.â
She clenched her jaw and left the room without another word. I exhaled deeply and fell back onto the window ledge supporting my head in my hands. Whatever weight I got off my shoulders finally confronting my parents was replaced with new anxieties about my fatherâs last words to me, rather, his subtle threat. I knew they were still in contact with the Capitol, Iâd seen the size of the files increase over the last few months despite the fact they were all password protected. It unnerved me thinking what else they were engineering-
âFive minutes.â The sound of the door opening and closing tore me from my thoughts. I looked up to see Ula shuffling into the room. On the one hand I felt myself ease at the sight of a friendly face, and at the same time I half expected her to rip into me for finding out second hand who my parents were.
I swallowed and rose to my feet, âHey.â
âDoinâ alright, boy?â She sat herself in the first chair she passed.
I sighed and shrugged, âI have to be, right?â I paused, âDid you, hear any of that?â
She shook her head, âJust saw a coupleâaâ pigs with their noses in the air. Wouldnât expect anything less out of âem. Piece of advice, kid, whatever happened in here just before-â She made a dismissive gesture with her hand, â-air in the wind.
âI donât have a lot of time, so Iâll get straight to the point: Iâve known a lot of people in my life, boy. Some good, others not. I judge âem based on their deeds, not words, not names. I havenât known you for that long, but youâve proven to be one of the better people Iâve had the chance to meet in my life.â
A weak smile twisted on my face and the tension swelling in my body began to ease, âWhatâre you going to do without me?â
âThink Iâll cause a little extra trouble so youâre plenty busy once you get back.â She flashed her toothy olâ grin as the guard appeared to call time.
âYou have to promise me one thing, Aquarius.â
âAnything.â
âPromise me that the only person youâre going to help from this day forward, is yourself.â
âI promise.â I affirmed, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze, âI wouldnât lie to you about that.â












