#achrestomathy

“So The New Big Thing I’ve been vaguing about is going to involve...”

not to tell you how to live your life but it BETTER be The Goldfinch

I appreciate your enthusiasm and respect for boundaries, but buddy, As You Know, I have already read the Goldfinch. My analysis of it can be summed up thusly:

Clearly “is this James/Sirius or Harry/Draco” is a trick question, the answer to which is “both”, but is the repeated insinuations from Boris that Hobie is gay a nod to Dumbledore? Does Tartt think Draco and/or Sirius would have to insist to Harry and/or James that this was so?

Could the intro be any more aggressively Dickens

WE REALLY DID NOT HAVE TO USE A BUNCH OF THOSE WORDS, DONNA, HOLY SHIT

I cannot believe that she did not kill off that dog, and I am grateful every day, what the fuck

I cannot believe how it ended AND I LOVE IT, FIGHT ME

I would love it even if it weren’t the logical conclusion to what she was clearly Trying To Do, i.e. “tell a “chosen one” narrative within the restrictions of contemporary American reality”, although one could argue given that this Pulitzer prize winning novel is, intentionally, Harry Potter slash fanfic, it should have been set in London at some point. See also: Dickens.

No seriously that reunion with the dog is the only emotion I ever care to feel for dogs in literary novels

Donna Tartt thinking LARP is one single website is the greatest thing lack of editorial oversight has ever given us

HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHAT FULL METAL ALCHEMIST IS AND DOES SHE KNOW IT IS VERY MUCH FOR THE BEST THAT A CHILD WHO JUST LOST HIS MOM CANNOT CONCENTRATE ON IT? 

I impulse bought The Goldfinch along with some orange chicken one day a few months after I finished The Secret History. I texted friend, “You know how you have to invite a vampire into your home before it can hurt you?”

I'm gay and from california and I approve this message

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Shadowhunters but every time Magnus...

I’m never going to be able to watch this show again

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photoset

i hate this so much i need to comment here as well as in group chat that this has emotionally scarred me

I’m cackling outloud

it’s not my fault that the animated classic Balto (1995) features a villainous cartoon dog with an eerie resemblance in both hairline and medical ethics to Speaker of the House Paul Ryan

it is also not my fault that the name of the dog, Steele, is the same as the last name of the man who created the Russian dossier. 

why you got to do me like this jenni

aries: this is as hard as asking my favorite book but i feel like its drive (2011, nicholas winding refn) for reasons i cannot artictulate

i’m not as meme literate as i once was but 

the signs as 

critical theorists you should fight

john green is the zodiac killer (problematic)

little grey cat 

i’m just including “””classic””” movies here for maximum embarrassment for me, because who knows why 

cabaret

jaws

west side story 

the shining