@achillcsheel​ asked; "why is it so damn difficult for you to believe you're worthy of love?" (Arizona to Mer)

      HER WORLD HAD BEEN turned upside down when she had moved from Seattle to New York, but when she broke up with Penny and Sofia was with Arizona in Seattle, she had made something good from a bad situation. She had found herself a hair salon and changed up her style completely. Instead of drinking herself into the depths of a bottle, she had picked herself up and worked hard. It was when she got a call from Bailey that she actually stopped to assess how she was really feeling about everything. 2 weeks later she had closed the door on her apartment and posted the keys into the post box downstairs. 

      The flight back to Seattle had been fine, nothing to rave about but her excitement to be home was unmatched. Sure she had to build her life again, but she had a head start this time. She had managed to get in and out of Grey Sloan WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING HER, finishing up her meeting with Bailey before heading home to start unpack. 

      The nerves hit her on her first day back. She hadn’t seen her daughter yet, hadn’t told her or Arizona that she was back and had asked Bailey to swear she wouldn’t say anything. Head of Ortho, back into her original role and she had missed it. Conversation flowed between her and Bailey easily. As they stood in the hallway talking, Callie could HEAR PEOPLE WHISPERING BEHIND her, but refused to look over her shoulder. Her face lit up as Webber came round the corner. “Torres!” He exclaimed and pulled her in for a hug. “Let’s sign this papers.” He told her and held the door open for herself and Bailey. 

      The day had run smoothly, lots of paperwork. She knew her first shift wouldn’t be until tomorrow so she had spent a lot of time catching up with Bailey and Webber. As she stepped out of the hospital she let out a happy sigh before heading across the street to Joe’s. As she walked in, she held the door open for someone, not turning her head to look at them, just holding it and carrying on to the bar. As she approached she saw Joe. He gave her a big smile and headed out of the bar to give HER A BIG HUG. “Callie! Long time no see. You’re back for good?” Callie nodded and hugged him back before pulling back and climbing onto a stool, not realising her ex-wife had been watching the entire encounter. 

“This is a new age, no more Mista Jay --- means that I am in charge, so whateva you have going on before hand, it’s out the window bucko. I ain’t the lil sidechick anymore, I have been promoted to numero uno now. So everything that was in place beforehand - bah forget about it. It’s all in the bin. Things are changing, this city is mine and I would sure be grateful to ya if you would offer some help? Some notes maybe? Don’t really have a training manual for this, sort of thing ya know - just winging it and hoping for the best. So any advice would be real swell and if ya got nothin to offer, then soz - I’m gonna have to kill ya, Mista Jay always said that it was better to leave them laying on the floor, he was a real killer, what a heck of a guy! So you got anything to offer the circus, or you just more dead weight for me to deal with?”

@achillcsheel​ said “ you’ll need a killer essay , or do not even hope. ”