#acespec arospec

"yall dont wanna fuck" "some people kinda aren't vehemently opposed to fucking?" "let's argue about who thinks what about this forever"

"asexuality is not j the result of mental health/gender/trauma struggles!"

"the way allo ppl talk abt ace/aro characters sux"

these are the same convos that've been going on for a trillion years, & the more yall repeat yourselves, the more you reduce the meaning of the concepts. even though ur trying to defend that they're not as simple as ppl say. yall have got to just stop engaging with ppl who don't get it & engage w EACH OTHER on what it IS. & the more u do, the more ppl will catch on.

i know, bc this shit is why it took me so long to realize i was ace. bc it's like every convo around it is talking specifically to ppl who don't get it at any level and probably never will, OR to exactly one type of ace person, who alr knows damn well that they're ace bc they fit one specific definition.. & even then it's j like 'reminder ur valid~~'

yall so stuck on defending that Some Ace Ppl Are Not Sex Repulsed, you've lost the whole convo of what "sex repulsed" even means. "so some people like.. don't pursue sex but are cool with it if someone else wants it" is true, but that's also not nearly the whole picture of what that means!!!

for me, i thought i couldn't be ace bc a lot of my issues w sex are trauma-based, & it's impossible to tell how much of my asexuality is inherent vs acquired. & bc of that i spent YEARS trying to navigate sex anyway, & being continuously re-traumatized. i actually had WAY MORE sex bc i thought i couldn't be ace, & let my 'indifference' lead to basically every relationship i had becoming a sexual one, because i figured i just saw sex as a neutral activity, like climbing a tree. i didn't think i was sex repulsed bc i do have sexual interests, and my sex repulsion really comes in when i try to combine sex & romance. i didn't realize that so much of the sex i was having was feeding my trauma.

there are TONS of asexuals in the kink scene. where are yall online?? hello? my friends? that's another reason i didn't realize im ace for so long-- i love kink. i can experience sexual desire in relation to kink, & i can enjoy sexual acts through kink. (i also LOVE non-sexual kink, don't get me wrong.) that made it rly hard for me to legitimize to myself that i AM sex repulsed in any other context. i cannot mix a romantic relationship w sex at all.

i always knew that i don't experience sexual attraction toward anybody's bodies, & i have rly low libido & am rarely thinking abt sex. so i thought i might be acespec, but i didn't understand how that fit in with my other experiences of sex/sexuality. enough with the talking about what asexuality ISNT.

i want to hear ace ppl talking abt the ways their romantic desires manifest!

i want to hear acespec ppl talking abt what being acespec means to them, what DO you experience?

YES, asexuality is natural & not necessarily a result of trauma! but sometimes it also is a result of trauma, and i want to talk about that! raise ur hand if ur acespec and can't have sex w ppl who wanna love you? me too dawg! traumatized acespecs, let's talk abt what other ways trauma influences our asexuality!

i want to talk about sex, hornily, explicitly through acespec perspectives! lets talk abt smut that's all buildup through an acespec lens!!

i want to hear arospec ppl talking abt how much u YEARN in platonic relationships!! let's talk about QPRs beyond just that they exist! let's talk abt the folks we liked so much they were sure we were crushing, but we just like.. REALLY wanted to be best friends w them!