#ace:question

Hi anon!

I am by no means a relationship expert, but I'd say it could work and depends more on how you work together. If you like listening to each other talk about stuff that you're not that personally interested in but the other one is, then that's something you can so together. If you find just one or two activities that you have common interest in, then you can do that together. Also, I think how you feel about eachother and your communication about your wants and needs are more important and that if you are able to spend time together and be comfortable together, then it should be fine.

Hope this helps!

Hi anon!

Appreciating dancing or the aesthetic of some women does not mean you are sexually attracted to them, which means yes you can still be ace! And making sexual jokes doesn't mean you're into sex, it's just fun and joking and lots of of aces are comfortable joking about it without experiencing sexual attraction, me included!

So basically, Yes, you're valid and still ace!

Hi anon!

Yes, thats totally valid! You don't have to come out to people if you don't want to, its your choice and you are still just as ace-spec even if you don't tell everyone!

Hope this helps!

Hey Anon,

Of course! If you believe that you have not experienced sexual attraction that much, but are comfortable with the term asexual, then you can call yourself asexual.

In fact, asexual used to be an umbrella not only for people who don’t experience sexual attraction, but for people who experience it less than or different from their non-ace peers. That has not changed much since other orientations came about.

Even though we have more ace orientations that help better describe what fellow aces feel, many people still use asexual as a way to describe themselves and it’s perfectly okay. Even if you have experience sexual attraction once or twice or it’s been a long while since you have experience sexual attraction asexual is okay for you to use.

Have no worries, Anon. If you like the term asexual and you feel the orientation works best for you, then you can call yourself it. Always go with what makes you most comfort and works best for you. If you have any more questions or need to talk feel free to message us anytime.

Hi Anon,

It is perfectly cool to ask any question here. We are always happy to help and provide to support for people with any orientation and attraction-like questions. Don’t ever be afraid to ask any question. 

That’s awesome that you are working on your other attractions! It’s not easy, but keep at it! You will get through it. You sound like you have an amazing understanding already! That is awesome. It’s not easy getting to know yourself, so much props to you there.

There are actually many people who feel the same way that you do. Many people feel an attraction to masculinity, males, or people (regardless of gender) who present themselves in a masculine way. I would suggest you check out masexual/romatnic or minsexual/romantic.

Masexual/romantic: is where you are attracted towards men or males.

Minsexual/romantic: is when you are attracted to masculinity.

These two orientations sound closest to what you described. Look around and check them out. See what you can find. Try them out if you like. It never hurts to try out a label to see if it could fit you.

You are doing great, Anon! Take your time with everything. It’s your orientation, so feel free to identify however you wish. If you need any help, have any more questions, or need to talk feel free to message us anytime.

Hey Anon,

Don’t let negative comments get you down or scare you into identifying with a label that might work for you. It almost feels like any new orientation someone label’s themselves now a days as has the potential to be homophobic/internalized homophobia; it’s become the standard defense against many orientations. But, you know yourself and you know that you are not homophobic. Those are not your intentions and you are not trying to do anything to hurt anyone, you are trying to find answers and words to help you describe yourself. There is nothing wrong with that.

There are many people who identify with several ace orientations because of past trauma or abuse, but you can still identify as acespec if you never experienced these things. If you connected to an orientation and you feel that orientation works for you, then go for it! There are even specific orientations reserved for people who have been abused or have faced past trauma and, as far as I am aware, aegosexual is not really one of them. 

It’s perfectly fine to be sexually attracted to someone, but the thought of sex or having sex makes you uncomfortable and you rather not participate. Many people experience this. You are 100% not alone. Many people can relate and understand to what you are going through. Remember attraction is not action. You can still experience attraction, but not like all the things that come with that attraction. Just because you feel attraction does not mean that you have to like it.

If you feel aegosexual works for you, if you connected with it, if you feel it describes you well, then go for it! It’s your orientation and it’s yours to label. No one else’s. And feel free to check out the blog @aegosexual-moments. They are a great blog! If you feel like talking to them feel free to send them a message too.

Have no fear, Anon. Don’t let negative things prevent you from being you. You know yourself. You know who you are. Don’t let social media get you down. You said it yourself, you feel that aegosexual pretty much fit. Go with that. Go wth your feelings. Trust yourself. Trust your feelings. There is a reason aegosexual feels right to you. It’s perfectly fine for you to identify as aegosexual if you feel it works for you. You are not being internally homophobic and you don’t need to experience any past trauma or abuse to relate to it or label yourself as aegosexual. If you ever need to talk or have any other questions feel free to message us anytime.