#ace lilith

For my ace spectrum friends, go forth and use accordingly.

While we know that the Boiling Isles are free of sexual and gender-identity related discrimination, there is still a unique problem of asexuality in an allo world where you feel like you just don't fit in. Gwendolyn and Lilith's friends and coworkers are all super invested in her supposed romance, and don't understand why she wouldn't take interest in something like that. Them pushing her to put herself out there or accept romantic advances made at her comes from a place of love- they want her to be happy and feel loved and cherished- but it also makes Lilith uncomfortable because the relationships that they're encouraging her to partake in are not what SHE wants for herself, or something she's ever taken an interest in. She knows that they don't mean anything malicious on their actions, but it still puts Lilith in a position where she's confused and upset and feels like she's different than those around her, and that is so relatable to the experience of being asexual. Constantly having to defend yourself and try to convinced worried loved ones that you are happy and fulfilled with your family/friends/career and don't want or need a romantic relationship, and them not understanding of just thinking that you haven't met the right person yet and one day a magical someone will come and light a fire in your soul.

I also really appreciate that Lilith is an ADULT going through this. I remember I started questioning my sexuality when I was in my early twenties, because that was about the time it finally sank in that even though other men and women expressed interest in me romantically or sexually, I just wasn't comfortable with that and didn't want that sort of relationship from anybody. It was pure happenstance that I stumbled upon an art meme talking about asexuality- a term I hadn't heard of before that point- and googled it out of both idle curiosity and a desire to further educate myself. And I nearly cried as I fell down the rabbit hole of that reading because finally, FINALLY I understood why I was different from everyone around me. I had a word for what made me the way I was, and there were others that were like me as well, so I wasn't alone anymore.

For Lilith, I'm willing to bet that her fixation on Eda's curse and fixing her mistake and responsibilities as the head of the Emperor's Coven kept her from thinking too long or too hard about her own sexuality. But now that both issues are off the table and she's more focused on herself and her issues, it's finally at the forefront of her mind and it's bothering her. And I appreciate that. I appreciate that Lilith is a grown woman going through this, who know how the world works and sees how other people's relationships blossom and realizes that that's not something she wants or needs in her life. I appreciate that Lilith is never portrayed as emotionless or less human. She's clearly a loving and affectionate witch, but romantic love just isn't something she has any sort of interest in. For her, familial bonds and platonic relationships are the relationships that matter, and she just isn't interested in becoming romantically entangled with anyone.

As an adult asexual, this is the sort of representation I desperately wish I had gotten when I was younger. It could have helped me figure myself out sooner, and saved me from years of feeling like I was broken and wondering what was wrong with me because I was different from everyone else. But I am so grateful to the Owl House crew for giving this to the children growing up with this show, and potentially saving them from that pain and self-loathing.

Aspec Liliths!! Woooohoooo!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37938076