#abyspeaks

Yes, it's true. This pandemic ruined a lot of plans for me. For one: not being able to travel or see new places. At first, I mourned for it and the many opportunities I lost because of this situation. But I realized, if I mourn for something that I couldn't have because of the pandemic and the pandemic will last even longer, should I continue mourning then?

Recently, I'm interested in the philosophy of Stoicism. I'm reading Epictesus' Discourses and Writings and I found a lot of his words very moving. In one of the passages it says:

many people who appear to be in dire circumstances are actually happy provided they deal with their situation bravely; others, regardless of how many possessions they have, are miserable, because they do not know how to use the gifts of fortune wisely.

It is true that I lost opportunities due to the circumstances I am faced with right now, but there are other opportunities that arises if other dissipates— life is like that. We are actually offered a lot of great things if we only open our eyes and look around. With all the time I have right now, the opportunities are endless. Take me reading a book as an example, isn't it an opportunity for me to broaden my knowledge in philosophy? Me being able to practice my skill in drawing digitally is another opportunity, me having the time to exercise in the morning is an opportunity. Not everything we receive from the universe must be grand for us to appreciate life. It's the little things that actually make it worthwhile.

This is a book I bought at a thrift store when I was in high school. I'm working now. It came with another book from the same author. I never really read it until now. I didn't know what I will be looking for later in my life had been there already in my life, sitting in the shelf, dusty and quiet. I wonder if it knew this day would come, if it had been waiting to be read by me. And as my thoughts continued to ran, I realized that it's such a wonderful thing, how life is constructed. It's complex yet simple, it's hard yet fulfilling. Do you understand where I'm coming from, my friend?

an ode to teenage me

a message to the version of me who thought she wouldn't make it to twenty:

well, here i am

here i am breathing in my 22nd year in life,

hear i am prospering, living in abundance, grateful of small things, and connected firmly with the universe

here i am alive.

here i am proving you wrong,

here i am stronger

and here i am thanking you

for not giving up, for not losing life

for holding on, for fighting,

for sailing through the storm.

this is my ode to you,

the teenage me

the one i know stronger than me,

and the one who saved me.