#abusehurts

A girl born into a family who didn't want her! A family with so much anger and hate so much abuse an violence. Secrets and lies! So much pain that I don't know where to even began. So ill make a longggggggg story short. A girl who was a mistake never planned was born into a world that she didn't understand. There was a father who wasn't a normal loving father but a monster!!!!! an abuser a rapist a thief. He stole hopes and dreams of what a normal family could be he stole childhood from his children their innocents.. There was a mother, although she was loving and caring she couldn't show her kids the love and attention they deserved because she wasn't allowed she was abused daily for simply picking them up when they cried or for feeding them playing with them. She was a mother who wanted to protect them but she couldn't even defined her self, She tried! but she was so much smaller and weaker. She never gave up even with a broken heart and spirit a bruised face broken bones hearing loss over the abuse. She still tried to escape. She thought getting away would make things better and they could start over but nothing could fix the pain and abuse they lived! All her children were hurt and scared in different ways all though she got them away and found real love her daughter still struggled. Her daughter felt unloved unwanted underestimated misunderstood. Her other children put the past behind them and didn't speak on it much, yet her daughter was hurt inside broken down and didn't understand life. She didn't understand the things she saw or felt she didn't understand why it happened to her or her family. The girl didn't know how to forget it and move on like the others she just couldn't except that life was ok now it was a little better now she didn't know how to let go and move on so she became depressed angry. She was a rebellious child she was out of control but had no one to take it out on but her family and the other kids at school the kids she felt were better then her and had better then her. Which only made her stand out more as the bad kid in the family " THE BRAT" when all she wanted was to be normal and feel like a normal child but she had been through to much that she felt older then she was so she wanted to die she wanted to hurt her self and when the cuts didn't phase her anymore she started drinking smoking alot and when that didn't numb her pain she started with pills. But NOTHING made her happy or feel normal. She didn't understand love so she allowed boys to mistreat her hurt her and use her as was done to her mother. She knew the way they treated her wasn't right but to kill the time she dealt with abuse and no one to talk to she dealt with painful forced meaningless sex to fit in to feel normal but still her heart was aching daily she hated her self. She felt not smart enough to fat not pretty she wondered why did God make her. She felt alone even in a room full of family or so called friends. She wondered when her life would change & one day she met an amazing woman online who actually had similar life situations in common. This woman was amazing and seemed so different from anyone she had ever known. she actually listened to the girl she was interested in her and her life she accepted her and all the pain she came with. They fell for each other so fast and so deep that the girl at times acted out because it was a love and feeling she had never knew before she felt she didn't deserve it or wasn't worth it. But the woman NEVER GAVE UP ON THE GIRL!!!!! not to long after talking they met then moved in together, she saved her rescued her she was her HERO in more ways then one. To this day she still pushes her away at times but then she is reminded that she is different. The girl understood while no other relationships made her feel happy and never worked. God was saving this person for her all along.