#wunkus

then i cunt out

This has come with some downsides, like difficulty keeping concentration, reduced motor capability, and recurrent seizure like attacks in which I'm left incapacitated for sometimes hours.

It has also come with some upsides, like reduced depression, fewer grudges, reduced shame, and I can rewatch some shows and movies I love.

I'd like to say I'm doing much better, or that it's getting better. But it's really not. I'm doing alright, but I am legally disabled, and I will probably die, or be wrought with completely disabling dementia before I'm 40. I personally believe that by 30 I'll probably be too late, and even 25 it'll be hard to hold a job. my brain has swiss cheesed and there ain't a ton I could do.

I'm glad I never got addicted to anything real mean, but irregardless I'm forever broken by these actions. Literally. I'm still young, and I'm not suicidal anymore, but it'd be nice to stop hurting all the time.

Anyway, I might leave this in the drafts, but if you're seeing this, I guess not.