#about ryder

Oh well, since this isn’t Mav...definitely Ryder.

They were difficult and miserable and almost too much for me.

But now, in this time of looking back, I can see the good that they did too -- I can see how I’ve changed, and who I’ve become because of the things that happened. And I’d like to think that the fifteen year old girl would be proud of who I’ve become today.

To the close and distant friends I’ve made -- thank you for being there and supporting me, especially when it was hard, or I was trying. You are the most wonderful people in the world, and I owe so much of who I am today to you. Of all of the things to come out of the 2010s, you are what I’m most proud of. To watch us all grow and become new and better people, to achieve our goals or change mid course. I love you all so much, and cherish each of you, which you deserve to hear, especially because I don’t say it enough.

To the people I lost -- I’m not sorry. I spent so much time after you left grieving, blaming myself and hating who I was because so much of me was made from you, wanting to make you happy or at least content. It was such a struggle to regain joy, or even peace afterwards, but I’m better now. I’ve taken back the things I thought I’d never have again. I wish you luck in the future. 

To the decade ahead. Please be kind. Ten years is a struggle enough, and I’m trying now. Genuinely trying. Not hiding behind depression or anxiety. I just... I want happiness and freedom. To not fear what comes ahead because of someone else’s selfish decision. My future is my own, and if I make my own mistakes, I’ll own them, but the mistakes of those around me will not define me.

Here’s to wishing for prosperity, knowledge and peace.

2020s, please be kind.

Thank you so much for these! I’m sorry they’re so late! Can I say that I was purposefully saving them to reflect on the entire year? :P

3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

It’s gotta be Lizzo -- I was super late, but it’s something that we jam to together at work, which is amazing.

9. Best month for you this year?

Definitely November -- I got a new job and really found my footing.

19. What’re you excited for in the new year?

Admittedly most of my OCs share my sarcasm like crazy. And both Ryder and Colter tend to share my happy-go-lucky attitude most of the time.