#about psycho stuff

ok what the hell is it with tumblr and changing its layout so its shittier every time? anyways

im still not able to properly use comma

i in fact have been artistically active but since ive lost my tablet pen... somewhen... and still havent found it?? there sadly are no digital pictures (audience boos)

-> that means i will soon post photos of my paintings and other artsy outpourings to my artblog

i got back to my anime phase and i dont regret it

right now im having all my finals and soon ill be done with all this school bullshit just

to go to another school! i applied to an art school in augsburg and even attended the entrance exam. guess what? I FUCKING PASSED :D

means i will move from my fine little room to a dorm in augsburg (thats only the first stage of my plans tho, my true goal is a flat share with chill people!)

my mom, stepdad and little brother are still in new zealand, currently moving to and island literally called “best island” ouo as far as i know they are safe and happy, which makes me happy too. missing them and sometimes catching the sads but still happy for them

bad news tho is... im having a lot of problems with my real dad. its not only lots of financial struggles between us but also the way hes treating me, his constant emotional unstability and well... lets just say im very very VERY glad im old enough to live on my own

which brings me to my own emotional state. taking the meds that had been prescripted by my therapist is a huge support for me, as well as having friends i can talk to, fuck shit up and party with. keeps me sane yknow. by now im not sure anymore if im still depressed or just ...regulr levels of sad. what i know is that there are still some emotional dissociations in my life. its a state where my mind is unable to connect to the real world. let me explain that one: it feels like im moving, talking and watching everything in a parallel universe. im unable to feel or express what is going on inside me which mostely results in silence or a very slow, sluggish talk. up to now i havent really talked to anyone about it... but one reason is that is damn hard to explain, you see? my therapist diagnosed some sort of ptsd, which is, in my opinion, fitting well (unlike the adhd diagnosis my old therapist made) my main task now is to find a good therapist in augsburg to talk about those issues, which are influencing my everyday life, just like my acute procrastination issue (it is HUGE and very untreated)

so yeah

thats it for now folks

love all of you and i wished i cood make you all pancake towers!