Tire Guy Ralph Says I Should Play Golf
I apologize for the length of this one. Yeah. I said that.
Anyone who knows me well will be able to tell you that I suffer from some amount of social anxiety. What this means is that normal everyday situations that are no big deal for normal people, are scary for me.
For example, something as simple as going to buy a new tire is extremely stressful.
Now, I’m 22; this should be something that is no cause for anxiety to me. I’m an adult! Not a good one, but an adult nonetheless. I should be able to endure adult situations in life.
But here’s how it went down:
I’ve been putting the tire thing off for a while because I hate dealing with car stuff.
Sidebar: I want a car that can take care of itself. Where’s that breakthrough, Science?? Eh? You’re droppin the ball a little, guys. It’s 2014! I shouldn’t have to maintain my car anymore!
Anywho, since I’ve only lived in the area for a couple of months, I’ve never been to the local tire establishment. The “new” aspect of things is where a lot of my anxiety comes from.
At the place I used to go to, they have lanes that you drive into for what type of service you need, and they come out to you and you tell them what’s up.
I had no idea if this new place was like that also, or what. So I drove there, and drove by the open bays where there were guys working. I went by really slowly, waiting to see if one of the guys was going to come out and help me.
They didn’t.
So, we just stared at each other for a bit while I crept by like a confused stalker.
Then I decided maybe I’m supposed to park, so I pulled into the nearest spot, or should I say, two spots. The two that were furthest away from the door, actually.
I lingered in my car for a second, with one foot out the door, again; waiting to see if they come to you to assess the situation.
They don’t.
So I awkwardly got out and went inside where a very nice man named Ralph kindly ignored how much of a hot mess I was and helped me out. Here’s how our conversation went:
He asked what he could help me with, to which I said “I need to get a tire looked at.”
I’m sure he was surprised by that, since he in fact worked at a tire store.
He smiled and said “What’s the problem with it?”
I replied, a little too loudly, “It got a leak!”
He said “Alright well, let’s go out to your car and take a look.”
He followed me out to the car, making a comment about how far away I parked; I replied that it was a nice day; a little outside time wouldn’t kill him.
He took a look at the sad tire in the trunk and, after letting me know it couldn’t be saved, noticed my golf clubs in the trunk.
“Do you golf?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I’ve hit a few balls, but those clubs have never seen a golf course.”
I shook my head, thinking, I’ve hit a few balls??
He laughed and said “What? You got clubs but never used them? Girl! It’s a fun sport!”
“Yeah, I enjoy going! I like driving the cart and drinking the beer!”
He threw his head back and laughed. “I got ya. I like you. I bet you’re fun to hang out with.”
I thought to myself, If only you knew about the time, recently, when I was in a social setting with a large group. I hit a guy I barely know in the face. And it was only sort of an accident.
Ralph also noticed the guitar in my trunk and asked accusingly, “Well do you play guitar?”
I laughed and said “Not that one! It’s only got two strings!”
As he laughed loudly I said, “The trunk is apparently where I keep all my abandoned hobbies. If you look closely, you’ll also see an old notebook, probably containing pieces of one or two songs I’ve written.”
He chuckled and shook his head, and told me to follow him inside where he got me set up with a new tire. Amazingly; there were only one or two more awkward moments after that.
Every time I’ve ever had to get any maintenance done on my car, whether it has to do with the tires or even something like an oil change, it’s been equally or more awkward than this situation.
I’m thinking I should just start riding a bike instead. Although, that would make for awkward street-crossing moments and I would probably crash into a tree. Or a wall. Or somehow, both.
I guess I’ll stick with the car and hope that someday, I’ll be grown up enough to handle these situations with ease and grace.
Yeah, I wouldn’t count on it.














