#ab drabble

“courtney, you do it.”

“no! i’m not fussed, i’ll sit at the table.”

“oh my god, you guys are mental. you don’t have to fight them on it, just ask nicely,” you folded your towel into your beach bag, “just say i think you’ve taken my bed by mistake, you set your towel down on it.”

“but i didn’t.”

“oh my god, then that’s fair game, faye! you can’t blame them,” you looked at her and huffed, heading over to the window to sneak a peak. since the days went on, more and more people began arriving at your complex, creating more noise and taking your spot at the pool.

scraping your hair back out of your face, you rummaged your messy bed for your bottle of water in the tangle of sheets, but to no avail, no water.

“y/n.”

“what faye?!”

“please say!”

“i left my stuff on my bed, you didn’t. you have no bed. you say.”

“fuck sake,” she huffed, throwing herself down on the bed.

you didn’t want to but you managed to drag yourself out of bed an hour or two ago and threw your towel over one of the sun loungers before anyone else had moved - you weren’t about to spend another day perched on the concrete ledge by the pool while everyone else sunbathed properly.

you’d told them to get up, to follow you, but no one budged. you said it three times, and were met with groans and hums of acknowledgment, but not compliance.

and now, they regretted it.

“y/nnn, did you not get ours for us?” beth groaned from the sofa, her voice scratchy.

you didn’t even look up from rummaging through your bag. “no. you weren’t up.”

“but they’re all gone now.”

“well, yeah,” you stood up, squinting against the daylight shining in from the balcony doors. “you should’ve come down earlier.”

that earned you a few sighs and a muttered, ‘cheers for thinking of us’ but you weren’t biting - you’d got your bed, you were set for the day, so it wasn’t your problem that they’d decided to stay in bed until noon.

they proceeded with their moaning and groaning and complaining, now giving off about anything and everything - not finding their phone, not finding a their bikini top, their hair not co-operating, and your mouth was like sandpaper, your head not much better.

you needed out.

you pressed your lips together, resisting the urge to point out how gross the place was - you knew how it would go: the second you said anything, you’d be the nag, the killjoy, the one ruining the a mood — so you didn’t.

you just stood there in your clean bikini, your side of the bedroom folded and neat, dressed ready to sunbathe.

the apartment was feeling smaller by the day — louder, hotter, messier. everyone snapping at each other, shoulders bumping in the cramped hallway, and now the pool was filling up with new arrivals dragging their cases in, their voices echoing through the courtyard.

at the sight of bronzer smashed into the bathroom floor tiles, last nights food on the sofa, cups scattered throughout and clothes everywhere but hung up in the wardrobe - you dropped your bag and headed to the door.

“i’m going down to the vending machine,” you said no one in particular. no one looked up, just mumbled a ‘k’ from the corner.

you didn’t wait for another response and slipped out the door with your flip-flops slapping against the stairwell tiles. the cooler air outside felt like a relief, your head always feeling lighter.

you just needed five minutes.

just five minutes to let them sort themselves out and by the time you came back up, hopefully they’d actually be ready to go.

the elevator doors opened and you trudged to the vending machine at the end of the hall against the wall.

the lobby was empty. quiet.

you closed your eyes, fighting the faint thump and threw your change in, clicking the two buttons, one and three.

“knew it was you.”

you jumped, bottle halfway out, and glanced up; alfie, leaning casually against the wall, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his own bottle of water.

he had a hoodie on, the hood up, the sun glinting off the edges of his watch. he was smiling though. he looked good for a guy with a hangover - if he had one.

“hey,” you said, tucking your hair behind your ear, trying to keep your tone light, “morning.”

“morning,” his eyes followed you up as you stood. “how’s it goin’?”

you shook your head, the thought alone pushing your had mood. “s’like a war zone up there. bad moods brewing because of hangovers so we need to get outside,” you put your drink in your bag. “taking forever getting ready though.”

he laughed, low and gentle, “yeah, i could tell. sounded like war from down under.”

“did you hear?”

“caught a bit,” he said, tilting his head, “not my problem. not my circus.”

you grinned, feeling your morning tension ease a little. “it’s fine. i just came down to escape that pigsty for a minute,” you shuffled through your bag for another coin, “our complex is moving up in the world.”

“i saw. there’s like two new groups in here. i don’t like it.”

“i know.”

you bent slightly to zip your bag closed, and the faintest whiff of his aftershave caught you.

clean, sharp, strong — you knew he hadn’t just sprayed it, but just clung to him from previous times, settled deep in his clothes and skin. it lingered heavy.

one breath of it and you knew it would always belong to him, known to you as alfie’s scent.

wow, it was a good one.

you kept your eyes trained on the vending machine, pretending to debate between another bottle of water or a can of fanta while he stood leaning on the wall, waiting for you to look at him.

you pressed the button, watching the bottle drop, grateful for something to look at. “the girls are giving off because all the beds are taken so i don’t know what they want me to do.”

“me and the boys were thinking of going to the beach,” he prompted, standing up a little, “haven’t been and it’s warm enough. the pool’s not an option at this point. you should come,” he suggested, hoping it didn’t come off too strong. really, he was just giving some advice. “we saw an inflatable course on it. might try it.”

you let your eyes lift from the vending machine to meet his.

“i’ll pitch it to them,” you said softly, stepping back.

“good,” he said, pushing himself off the wall, brushing past close enough that the smell of him lingered. “let me know. we’ll be down in the voyage in like . . 10 minutes,” he checked his watch. “you should come either way, whether they want to or not.”

you nodded and watched him head off, feeling lighter than when you’d stepped off the lift.

ᯓ ✈︎

“oh my GOD, sand is fucking everywhere!”

“well . . yeah beth, we’re at the beach,” you fixed your towel so it lay smoothed out, “what were you expecting? snow?”

“shut up y/n . .” she grumbled, kicking her sandals off, “you’d know all about playing in the fucking snow.”

“if you’re in such a mood then go back to the hotel?”

“and sit wear?”

“somewhere it’s not sandy?”

when pitching the idea of the beach to them, your girls weren’t too fussed, but when you’d told them they could fight for their sunbeds while you sunbathed on yours - they reluctantly gave in.

you were in the voyage 10 minutes later, waiting another 10 on your own when you told the guys to go on.

alfie’s face lit up when he saw you show up, but joel already had you second-guessing your acceptance of invitation when he said he was going to throw you off the inflatable course.

the girls eventually trudged down, and complained about the walk to the beach. you didn’t know why they were in such a mood today. you, yet again, felt the worst, getting home two hours after everyone else.

hey, people liked to talk to you. getting a pizza to eat before bed wasn’t so straightforward with your gravitational energy - you’d befriended a couple strangers from the netherlands and ended up back in the bars.

you weren’t too rough. more electrolytes and water did the trick.

settled with your setup, you lay down on the hot towel, arm shielding the sun even with your sunglasses on and let out a breath.

no more stress. no more arguing. everyone was happy. everyone was quiet.

. . . too quiet.

nobody was talking, and you sat up to observe.

tam had her earphones in, beth was out cold, jess was on her side, scrolling on her phone and faye was reading also with her earphones in.

you tried to relax, but like you’d knew would happen, you struggled to get comfortable on the sand. honestly - you didn’t get what people meant by soft sand - every beach you’d been to was hard and bumpy to lay on, no matter how smooth you made it before laying your towel down.

you sat up again, feeling your body grow hotter with the growing frustration.

you lay down . . . and then you were up again.

you heard a laugh, and looked to jess who was shielding her eyes while looking over at you, “bit uncomfy over there?”

“just warm,” you played with it instead, grabbing a handful to watch it pour out of your fist.

the beach was entertaining nonetheless, not too busy, but just enough people around to keep it interesting. couples were stretched out with books, kids running about with shovels and spades, an older pair locked in a board game like it was life or death and someone chased their curly-haired dog through baby waves.

your eyes kept going back to the group of kids messing around. definitely siblings. you could see it building — the brother starting to wind up his sister more than play with her, her little fists scooping up sand with way too much intent. you almost laughed, silently rooting for her to just launch it at him - not just because it’d be funny, but because you knew she’d feel better for it.

you tried to relax, laying down again, took your kindle out and tried to read.

nope.

you sat up again.

you stood up actually, taking your purse. “getting a drink.”

“k.”

you walked to the row of shops, hearing ruckus before you saw them.

it was 10:00 in the morning and three pints sat on the table, two fists wrapped around a knife and fork and banging on the glass. “bit early for that, no?”

“it’s 5 o’clock somewhereeee,” jay and joel waved their glasses as they put on their best middle-aged woman impression. “where’s the rest of them?”

“over there. courtney didn’t come, she wanted to stay at the hotel today,” you quickly scanned their table of toasties, wraps and baskets of chips. “where’s dylan?”

“probably making breakfast in some girl’s kitchen,” joel picked up another chip, snickering with the rest of the boys.

“lovely,” your face was grim, “what are you guys up to?”

“going to get on that after,” jay nodded to the inflatable watercourse afloat on the water. you could see a climbing wall, a slide, monkey bars and a swing you needed to jump on to get to the other side.

yeah, no way.

“you should get on,” alfie proposed.

“no way.”

“why not? i bet you’d smash it,” they tried to encourage you.

“yeah, smash my face in.”

“that’s the fun of it!”

you sent a conflicted look of confusion.

was that supposed to be an insult?

“c’mon.”

“i wouldn’t be able to pull myself up to get started on it!” you argued.

“i’ll help you!” jay promised, “alfie will help you. he’s got the guns now,” he pointed to his friend who, surprisingly, didn’t flex his muscles in response, but drank his orange juice.

you thought about it.

“i’ll ask the girls . . see if they want to do it,” you continued your journey to the bar.

you got your two bottles of water and walked back, standing in the middle of their makeshift row. “do you guys want to do that watercourse?”

tammy took her earphones out and nudged faye who still had hers in. “do what, sorry?”

“the watercourse. that thing over there,” you nodded to the agility challenge, “the guys are going to do it too. it would be fun.”

“no. not in the mood to get my hair wet,” faye put her earphones back in.

“tam?”

“i don’t know . . . i’m so tired.”

“but it’ll be funny! come on,” you looked to beth, “beth?”

“the water is so cold, y/n.”

“are you serious?!”

“my bikini will come off.”

“SO?!”

“y/n, if you want to go, just go, we’ll watch your stuff.”

“it’s fine,” you huffed, “thought i’d just ask,” you back sat down on your lumpy sand.

ᯓ ✈︎

“GUYS I CAN’T DO THIS! I CAN’T—WATER KEEPS GOING IN MY MOUTH! I CAN’T GET UP!”

the harder you laughed, the harder it was to pull yourself up onto the thing. joel and alfie were already two obstacles ahead, scrambling up the wall section like it was easy, while jay on the other hand, had fell in headfirst just minutes after starting, now thrashing around trying to haul himself back on from the other side.

you kept laughing, out of breath in the midst of using your arms to pull the rest of your body up onto the inflatable mattress, arms shaking violently while your stomach cramped with laughter.

the inflatable bounced beneath you, making it even harder. “i’m actually gonna drown!” you wheezed, cheeks aching from how hard you were laughing. “please!”

“you two are shit!” joel yelled from a few metres ahead, doubled over laughing himself.

“mate i will seriously drown you,” jay called back, not at all pleased he wasn’t winning this competition.

you hauled yourself up inch by inch, the taste of salt in your mouth as water streamed down your face.

the ocean was freezing when you’d first jumped in, but now it wasn’t a bother. there had also been some tiny fish swimming about, but that only encouraged you to get on the float as fast as possible.

when you finally flopped onto the plastic like a dying fish, chest heaving, you heard a small applause.

“well done,” alfie clapped, tone smooth, grin wide. “only took you the whole hour to get started.”

“piss off,” you held back a laugh, but he was right, the fact it took you so long to get on the thing had you wondering how hard this was about to be for you.

“nah, give her credit,” joel wheezed, “she’s made it further than jay.”

“fuck off!” jay barked back, still half-submerged, one leg hooked pathetically over the side of the inflatable like he was trying to climb back onto a horse.

the course turned into pure carnage. jay had already given up, just floating on his back in the sea like he’d and carter kept slipping off the climbing wall, arms pinwheeling before smacking the water with the loudest bellyflop known to man.

alfie was determined to swing across the monkey bars but made it exactly two bars before falling into the ocean.

joel was trying to help jay back up but it was impossible with how jay was trying to climb on - feet first.

you shrieked when the rope ladder swung away from you, kind of warm now and not wanting to indulge in freezing crystal waters again.

alfie was climbing the wall again with easy strength that made your arms burn just from watching. his muscles were working overtime.

veins appearing, biceps flexing, his abs were so defined when he tensed in the cold, it was hard to look anywhere else.

he’d already made it halfway up when you lost your footing and fell flat on your stomach again, breathless from laughing again.

“you’re fuckin’ hopeless!” he shouted down.

“i’m trying!”

the next bit was widely-spaced steps, a calculated running technique needing to be used to try and get across. “i’m going to break my neck.”

“you’ll be fine,” alfie chuckled next to you.

and you ran as fast as you could across them - instantly slipping and falling back into the water before you could reach the third one.

alfie was already making his way over to help you up.

you sucked in a breath and reached for his hand, trying to haul yourself up the side of the float but the second he pulled, you felt the force of the water almost peel your bikini bottoms off.

“WAIT!—wait, stop!” you shrieked, half-laughing, half-horrified, trying not to flash anybody.

he froze, eyes wide, grip still firm around your wrist. “what? what’s wrong?!”

“my bikini!”

“what about it?”

“—wait it’s fine, it’s ok,” you held out your hand again. alfie tugged you up again, but the waves in the water were like fingers, swiftly tugging your top off your boobs.

“WAIT!—wait alfie!” your arms dropped with a splash back into the water, arms flying across your body.

he blinked, startled. “what? what did i?!—”

“—my top!” you gasped, trying not to drown while also trying to shove the girls into place. “i’m nearly flashing you and the whole bloody beach!”

he froze, inspecting you were ok but then the laugh broke out before he could stop it — a proper, loud, belly laugh that made you glare up at him.

“—don’t laugh!” you shouted, trying to climb up again, but this time your bikini bottoms threatened to go instead. “right, pull me up but pull me up slowly . . . i swear to god, if my tits flash those kids over there—”

“—then they’ll have the best holiday of their lives,” he pried you up with one hard tug.

you burst out laughing mid-air, arms trembling so hard you could barely hold on. your grip slipped, your arms instinctively looping over his broad shoulders instead, still wheezing as he hauled you back up. alfie’s forearm curled around your waist, landing you both breathlessly with your face at his neck, silent with laughter.

he was laughing too, that sweet boyish laugh as his back thudded into the ground. his arm stayed put around you, fingers brushing your stomach as you tried to catch your breath, the image of you scrambling to fix yourself and protect the eyes of the innocence setting you off again.

“you are not right,” alfie chuckled next to you, rubbing the water from his eyes while trying to to focus on how you were practically laid on half his body.

“that really made me laugh,” you admitted.

you pushed yourself up on one arm, feeling the weight of his fall away from your side.

your smile lingered on him, but he was staring up at the sky now, brows twitching like he was trying to play it cool — pretending he wasn’t fighting to scrub the image of your half-naked bust from his head.

you wanted to stay like that for a while, but alfie forced himself to his feet, focused on the course again as he made his way to the steps you’d just obliterated.

you spun around to watch him, grinning, watching him make it to the last one before he slipped and his stomach crushed into the last step, knocking the air from himself as he went down.

you laughed from behind, watching him struggle to pull himself up, the water trickling down him in long lines.

your hair was so heavy with how drenched it was, weighing you down, making you grow more tired. your face and stomach hurt from laughing and you were getting sick of constantly adjusting your bikini top. your limbs were sore too, the course working every inch of your body.

ahead, dylan screamed as he slid clean off into the water, the splash soaking you both.

alfie barked a laugh, leaning forward to get a better look and you couldn’t help but glance at him instead — the way he tilted his head back, wet hair pushed off his forehead, teeth on show as he laughed.

succeeding the seesaw next, trying to beat carter behind you, your arms wobbled as you prepared to hoist your bottom half up.

alfie was just there, reaching down without thinking. his hands swallowing yours in a iron grip, pulling until your body slid up against the plastic beside him.

with his muscles bulging and jaw clenching, he hoisted your entire weight with his arm only shaking slightly, swearing when he finally pulled you onto the mattress out of breath. “fucking hell!”

“are you calling me heavy?!”

“fucking right i am!”

you laughed harder than him, clutching your stomach before even thinking about getting up.

you finished the rest of the course, enjoying the five minute break when reaching the trampoline bit while joel was still trying to pull jay back up. however, jay’s weight kept dragging him in. “STOP MOVING!” he shouted, clutching his arm.

“IT’S THE CURRENT, YOU DICKHEAD!”

carter finished first, but already jumped back into the water. you and alfie sat with your legs hanging over the edge, watching the other two like a comedy act.

you could feel your pulse slowing, chest rising softly with each breath as the sun warmed your shoulders - as well as alfie’s body heat.

he was just inches from you, you could still get a whiff of his musky scent mixed with all that sea salt.

he sighed, falling back onto the surface. “i need a beer.”

you smiled, still watching the pair in front of you, “i feel like i need to buy you a beer after all that,” you chuckled, stealing a glance at him.

“you can definitely buy me a beer,” he grinned, cheesing hard.

you hummed, swinging your legs over the edge, relaxed smile on your face.

ᯓ ✈︎

in the apartment, you were the first ready, sat at the balcony, your makeup done in a summery glow and legs on show after collecting rays all day.

outside was a lot less loud than the inside of the girls squawking and stomping over missing clothing prices and hair not co-operating. you got ready as quick as possible, a long-sleeved white top and short frilly skirt, managed to work with your hair thanks to an extension lead and completed the same makeup look you’d been doing every night - just switching lip combos and subtle eyeshadows.

it was nearing 8PM, and you could still hear the hairdryer going, but you stayed quiet, shoulders tense.

wherever you stepped you were in the way, and tammy was asking for 800 photos to be taken of her and you simply couldn’t take it anymore.

“y/n! come take our photos?! please?”

you fought the eye roll and stood up, trampling to the bedroom where beth was shimmying her bra for her boobs to sit right and faye tweaked her bangs to sit at a specific angle to frame her face. “can someone tie my top?”

courtney tied jess’s top, the material lace, her bikini top visible beneath. “don’t worry, i’m packing a spare. i feel like this baby’s going to rip if i turn to fast. shein’s finest.”

giggles filled the room and you shook your head, smiling while holding the phone up to the blonde in front of you. “you’re a moron.”

“what’s up with you? missing your other half?”

“you and alfie shared a smooch on the watercourse?”

“you two looked awful cozy together.”

you took their teasing, instructing them to bunch closer with your hand, “i mean none of you guys would get on with me, so . . what’d you want me to do?”

“you’re too close,” courtney held her hand up to block the flash, “step back.”

in the midst of papping them, you saw Imogen’s name begin to spam the groupchat, wondering what on earth she’s seen now.

“oh shit . . immy’s on oneee,” faye sang, picking up her phone as the others disembarked. you topped up your bronzer as jess alerted the taxi’s arrival.

you grabbed your phone, grabbed your bag, swung it over your shoulder and headed for the door.

THE GALS™

imogen 👑

what

imogen 👑

on earth

imogen 👑

are you doing

imogen 👑

[1 image attached]

imogen 👑

@ Y/N

imogen 👑

hello???

imogen 👑

did you ditch the girls??

imogen 👑

has there been a fall out???

tammy 🌴

no, no fall out

casey 🍒

HAHAHAHAH JAY’S STORY WHY’S HE JUST FLOATING ABOUT

y/n 🪩

nooo, none of the girls wanted to get on so i went by myself

courtney 🎀

she ran the second alfie said he was getting on 😝

casey 🍒

lol y/n hun you gagging for it

y/n 🪩

oh deffo

you locked your phone, not in the mood to entertain the convo.

part of you knew they were taking the piss and you felt like a brat who couldn’t take it, but it never really felt that way.

jay had spammed his story since his arrival here, but today’s snaps had posted of him today, from his pictures of breakfast and ever to today of him floating in the water, flipping the lens to show carter speeding above him and his action shot zoom of you and alf sitting on the ledge together, legs almost looking to be touching.

beth 🛍️

he’s a funny fucker

just then, imogen started to text you separately.

imogen 👑

what’s going on??

y/n 🪩

nothing? 😂😂😂

imogen 👑

why are you always with alfie??

the question halted you for a minute.

why were you always with alfie?

you didn’t know, you just seemed to gravitate to him, probably because he was the person you were most familiar with.

deep down, you felt there was more to your answer.

why did you always seem to be with alfie?

because . . he’s actually not that bad to be around . . if at all, immy, your mind answered. i . . enjoy his company.

and he makes me laugh. a lot.

you began typing.

y/n 🪩

he’s really fun to be—

you deleted it.

y/n 🪩

idk, he’s just always there

y/n 🪩

he’s not bad lol

imogen 👑

hereee we go

y/n 🪩

immy what’s wrong

imogen 👑

WHATS WRONG

imogen 👑

Y/N

imogen 👑

THESE ARE THE SAME LADS FROM SCHOOL!!! THE SAME ONE YOU CALL ASSHOLES AND WANKERS FOR THEIR CARRY-ON IN SCHOOL

imogen 👑

alfie buttle grows a pack of abs and you’re on your knees mouth open wide

imogen 👑

you’re being so pathetic right now y/n, if he was still that little scrawny guy you wouldn’t even talk to him

imogen 👑

he has muscles now and now you’re giving him every second of your day

imogen 👑

idk why you think it’s so different cause you’re out of school, if he still had that uniform on you wouldn’t be glancing his way

imogen 👑

you’re telling me he’s not bragging to all his mates every time you’re hanging off him?? probs orchestrated a whole game plan since you stepped off that plane

imogen 👑

this is the same alfie buttle who cracked up laughing when joel called me a self-obsessed bitch in the canteen?? that’s your guy?? same one??? same rude, misogynistic ignorant little twat who wants to get his dick wet and nothing else

imogen 👑

OBVS he’s going tell you what you want to hear, he’ll probs be a disappointing 20 second pathetic fuck and ignore you the rest of the holiday then you’re another story floating around the school w everyone who has their own version. probs tell them how easy you were with all these pics to prove his point

imogen 👑

if we were roles reversed right now, you’d be telling me the exact same

you stared at the message.

her spam shocked you.

she was on one.

she was at you.

you read over them, a weird feeling in your gut, like what was happening was something you’d low-key been waiting for.

and the worst thing—

she was partly right.

. . god, she was so right.

you would be telling her the exact same thing.

but . . imogen hadn’t spent time with them the past week and seen how fun their company was. how when they weren’t in that environment, they didn’t have their backs up.

when she wasn’t around they didn’t have their backs up.

you thought for a second. how different would things be if it was her?

for a start, imogen wouldn’t listen to you.

she’d ignore your advice and do what she wanted anyway, and deal with the consequences after. she’d sleep with him and you’d be the one going around the whole school, one by one, warning them to keep their mouth shut if they knew what was good for them.

she’d cry about the drama (maybe secretly love it) but be over it in a month.

what are you even thinking right now?

what the fuck were you doing?

what are you actually doing?

y/n 🪩

i know

y/n 🪩

you’re right, i need to reel it in, i didnt realise it looked like that

imogen 👑

it also looks really fucking back-stabby y/n, i didn’t want to say because i don’t want to fight with you but what friend does that - sitting and laughing with a group of people who everyone knows don’t like me? who have literally called me a bitch to my face? and you’re literally up their ass this whole holiday? so weird

y/n 🪩

imogen i swear we’re not all friends now, it’s just the familiarity. i was better hanging with them than strangers on a course

imogen 👑

well that’s the difference between me and you - i WOULD have gotten on the course with a group of strangers than a group of people who wouldn’t have MY BEST FRIEND sit at their table

imogen 👑

the other girls didn’t get on the course, why did you have to?

imogen 👑

it’s not even about the course, y/n, it’s the whole fucking holiday. you’re the only one who’s with them 24/7, every time i see a photo, you’re with them and not the girls, literally dropping them when the boys are around - and again, not just any boys, boys we fight with ?

but it wasn’t like that?

you wanted to scream.

you wanted to fire off every defence you had, right there on the phone — i’m not ditching the girls for them, they just keep doing the fun stuff the girls don’t wanna do. i’ve been with the girls all holiday. all our plans are booked together. i can’t magically separate myself when we’re all in the same places. and every time we have to pair up, somehow there’s already a three, and i’m left to fill the gap.

you wanted to say all of that — loudly, logically — to prove you weren’t this traitor they were painting you as.

but then the silence that followed, the way she phrased it - it wormed into you.

and suddenly you weren’t sure.

because maybe there had been comments. maybe one of the girls had said something to her, maybe they’d sat together and picked apart how distant you’d been, how you’d drifted toward the boys, how you were laughing with other people instead of them.

and yeah, their feelings were valid – if you were them, you’d probably complain too. you’d probably sit around, tipsy and dramatic, talking about how your mate had swapped you out.

so even though you knew it wasn’t true — even though you knew you weren’t dropping anyone — it sat in the back of your head.

what if you are being a shitty friend?

what if you are that girl?

imogen 👑

do NOT let them see you go mental on a night out, courtney said you’ve got a packet by yourself every night - that’s not normal y/n. jesus christ, we’re all for a good time but you’re taking it to the extreme here

imogen 👑

i’m never letting you go on holiday without me again. won’t be surprised if jay has a photo of you posted on your mum’s facebook, you’re definitely not the discreet type

imogen 👑

just don’t do anymore, my skins been crawling with anxiety the whole week for you, you never know who might see you

imogen 👑

buttle finds out and he’ll be blackmailing you til you sleep with him

you barely looked at your phone after that, reading her texts through your lockscreen so she didn’t know you were actively reading them.

now your stomach was in knots. anxiety flooding in like a tsunami.

approaching the strip, you paid your half of the journey and turned off your data, reading her last message.

imogen 👑

i love you to death y/n, i’m not saying this to be a bitch, you know this is from a place of love, that’s looking out for you, protecting you, having your back the way you’d do for me. i’m not going to let you look stupid even when in another country!! you’re my other half, i literally would have to kill each one of them if they dared make a fool of you. i’m being harsh because i’m annoyed for you and i don’t want you to look/feel stupid after all it. i wish i was there with you to keep you right 💔 i love you soooooo much, please just be careful, thats all i’m saying. enjoy your last days. hoping you find a good holiday shag 🤞🏼 there are plenty hotter boys than alfie buttle for god sake. you look gorgeous tonight 💗 be safe, look after the girlies xxx

you were no longer in the mood to be out anymore, 100 anxieties taking place as you overthought the last few days.

imogen didn’t even know half the story, so part of you couldn’t be that mad — but another part of you wished she’d just ask. just hear you out, because surely, as your best friend, she knew you well enough not to swallow every drip and drabs of info she was being fed.

for a start, she was making you sound like a coke whore, which was rich considering she was the one who shared your first bag with. only thing is now, she maybe takes one nail of it if even and you . . well, you don’t stop there, that’s the problem, apparently.

all the girls are all up getting a bag and pitch in and then when it’s time to do it, they’re never fussed, and you don’t get it. are they scared? or do they just want the bragging rights? like it’s something to say you’ve done rather than actually do?

you’re not stupid about it. you judge people who go too far — the ones who do it every weekend, or worse, on their own. that’s not you.

for you, it’s an occasion thing — when the vibe’s right kinda thing. it’s not that deep, it’s coke — half the country’s on it. you wouldn’t even be shocked if your old science teacher had a bag in her bag once that friday bell rang.

you’re young, this is the time to try stuff, to make memories - to laugh about it years later.

you tried molly last summer . . and LSD, and you were fine. imogen had gone through you at the time, but then spent the rest of the year retelling your story like it was her own at parties, so clearly she’d got over it, and it was good — the best night of your life, maybe, everything brighter, funnier, easier.

and sometimes, you wish the girls would just do it with you -not out of pressure- but for the memories. for the chaos. for the fun. for the story.

you always picture it - a night where everyone just goes for it, laughing too loud, feeling electric, but they never do. they talk big, then back out, leaving you the only one holding the bag.

the current packet in your handbag was mocking you.

again, they’re all ‘fine! get another batch and this time save us some!’ so you do buy another bag - and then you’re left feeling like you’ve got a problem because you refuse to let it go to waste.

hey, a packet wasn’t cheap these days — nothing was getting flushed down the toilet on your watch.

the taxi doors slammed after another, a vibrant bass subtly pulsing beneath your sandals, with heels clacking around you, bodies pressed shoulder to shoulder, air sticky with smoke and cheap perfume with all the young people around.

you trailed behind the girls as they headed toward the first bar, the girls already ordering shots by the time you reached the table.

courtney was complaining about her sandals rubbing and faye had half her torso on the bar counter to flag the bartender.

“FIVE SAMBUCAS PLEASE!” she yelled obnoxiously over the counter.

“six,” you corrected, flashing the bartender a smile.

“you said you weren’t drinking shots?” jess cut in, eyebrows raised.

you blinked, caught off guard. “since when?”

beth laughed, eyes flicking to the mirror behind the bar instead of you. “don’t start, babe, it’s early.”

you shot her a long look.

not a glare, not even a dramatic gaze, just quiet and sharp enough to cut through the noise.

“. . . and another one, sorry,” she added quickly, voice smaller now, gaze on the bar.

the bartender looked at her and then to you, pouring the liquor in the glass before handing the first one to you.

it wasn’t that you scared them - not really.

but there was something unspoken in your group, a kind of silent rule: you could argue with y/n, tease her, even push every last one of her buttons, but once that flicker crossed your face, all but small glimpse of anger, quiet and controlled — their stomachs dropped.

not because you’d ever gone for anyone, but because they knew, deep down, that if it came to that, it’d be over before it could even start with you.

and none of them wanted to find out what that looked like.

everyone wanted you on their side in an argument — but especially in a fight. you’d never actually thrown a punch, didn’t need to, but everyone knew there was something dark in you that could snap if pushed.

imogen had saw you and jude scrap in your living room for real one time, and he was a 6ft gym rat who used to box -both of you used to- and his eye socket had since then seen better days. imogen didn’t think you’d fight any differently from that.

to be fair - you were both drunk, but with emotions heightened, it came through in how you fought.

the girls downed the first round in unison, grimacing and squealing. your throat already felt tight, your mood still not recovered — not from the texts, not from imogen’s ‘advice’, not from the ache of feeling slightly outside everything.

after the second bar, you spotted the boys — alfie, jay, joel, dylan and carter, lingering near the corner, half hanging over the rail with beers. it wasn’t even awkward anymore, just inevitable - the strip was too small for either group to avoid the other.

“don’t stare,” courtney muttered under her breath.

jay clocked you first, lifted his bottle. “OI! it’s watercourse champ and the gang! thought yous were banned from this end after last night?”

“funny,” beth shot back, “shouldn’t you be babysitting your mate before he drowns again?”

joel laughed, slinging an arm over jay’s shoulders, “already did, don’t worry.”

carter’s eyes flicked to jess’s lace top, “rocking a fish net? how long’s that thing gonna last before it rips?”

“oh don’t worry about me, i’ve got a backup packed, thank you very much!” she sent a sarcastic smile.

you were still chuckling at ‘fish net’ when your eyes caught alfie’s, his grin directed at the secret sound he could hear leaving you.

“good day?”

“still a bit knackered,” you said quickly, looking away before he could read you too much, imogen’s words flashing through your head.

“watercourse broke you.”

“hm.”

he laughed under his breath, and you couldn’t help the tiny pull in your stomach when he did.

you left them, heading to a booth just a couple feet from them, staying close to the bar.

the six of you packed shoulder-to-shoulder around a table, sticky with spilled alcohol and lingering aftershave. you felt a bit better now — the music loud enough to drown your thoughts as your third round had kickstarted the buzz in you.

you leaned back as jess gestured widely mid-story, the glass you were bringing to your mouth getting the wrath of the back of her hand, splashing across your front. a sharp cold shock, pink liquid soaking through the white fabric.

“SHIT! shit, y/n! i’m so sorry!—”

your eyes closed, body locking, accepting your fate instantly as you felt it spread quickly, cold against your skin. jess’s face dropped instantly.

“fuck y/n—”

“—it’s fine, it’s fine,” you said automatically, blotting at it with a napkin.

beth peered over, sipping her drink. “it’s fine jess, it’ll dry in.”

your eyes shot to her, your ears ringing.

“–yeah, don’t worry, you can’t even tell,” faye added, watching you dab it.

“just air it out, y/n babe.”

“guys are you sure?” jess asked again, frantic, but the others kept calm, not budging.

you turned back to jess, “don’t worry jessy,” you didn’t want to make her feel bad, for it was an accident, but for fuck’s sake, how worse could the night get?

“let me get get you another drink.”

“it’s fine,” you shook your head, standing up to go to the bathroom to fix it, but she was already up and heading to the counter.

the girls all watched, empathetic gazes following you, but not moving.

alfie’s jaw was tight as he watched it all. gaze flickering from your shirt to your friends, and back to you.

emathetic, and yet — nobody seemed to mention that spare top.

none of them moved to accompany you in the bathroom.

none of them offered. they just carried on like you weren’t sitting there uncomfortably sticky and saturated.

you blocked their gaze, embarrassed at the idea of them seeing what had happened - not wanting jay to have that blasted all over his social media - laughing at jess baptising you with your own drink.

alfie watched how none followed you to the bathroom, how none tried to help dry it, how no-one reached into jess’s handbag and he could feel the heat burning within him, fingers twitching, jaw clenching.

in the bathroom, with bright white lights, you saw how bad the situation truly was – your whole front was stained a cherry red, the material stuck to your skin, you could make out the faint string of lace on your bra cup.

nothing was going to fix it.

running it under water was a waste of time, the top was ruined, even your mum wouldn’t be able to wash the colour out in the washing machine, it was for the bin at the end of the night.

you dried it under the hand dryer.

as long as it was dry.

after a few minutes, you stepped out, catching eyes with the girls who were heading toward the exit, faye waved you quickly to join when you caught eyes, your handbag in her arm.

a hand locked around your arm and you jumped, startled, head jolting around in a panic, but your shoulders dropped when you were just looking back at alfie’s face. your brows furrowed questionably, the room blasting with loud music.

“don’t fuckin’ go with them.”

your brows raised, taken aback by his tone, but then as if on instinct, against your own control, you felt that all too familiar ugliness crawling up your back, full of defence, settling around every nerve and lighting it on fire. your face furrowed, “what?”

fuck.

alfie knew what side of you he was dealing with just from that look, but he was too annoyed to care.

he’d battle it out. “what? they just left you standing there covered in drink when they could’ve sorted you out in two seconds. they don’t care, y/n, why the fuck would you stick around that?”

“oh my god, alfie, they’re my mates, i’m not gonna drop them over a spilt drink,” you ripped your arm from his grip, annoyance climbing you.

“y/n it’s everything, it’s the digs, the way they treat you, talk to you someti—”

“—and i’m probably as shitty to them sometimes too!” you cut in, “i probably talk to them badly! treat them badly! you think i’ve never messed up? they’re my mates, it’d take more than that for me to just drop them!”

“y/n you’re nothing like them—” he almost laughed, but you cut him off, fury burning.

“—yeah, i’m probably the worst! you just don’t see it,” you shouted out, the music deafening. “you think i’ve never been a crap mate? trust me, i have, and it’d take a lot more than that for me to walk away from them. they’ve done worse before and we’ve got past it.”

alfie’s chest rose and fell like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. he was looking at you with the same look you were giving him, brows harsh as he towered above you. he could shake you.

if you were that fucking thick, maybe you deserved a shitty circle.

you strutted off, rushing after the girls before you lost them, heart beating out of your chest.

“—wowww, someone arguing with their boyfriend?” faye giggled, passing you your bag.

you snatched it out of her hand, your feelings evident. they didn’t ask again.

your patience was thin. you were giving one more place a shot and you were out of here. your mood was ruined, there was no coming back.

if you didn’t refuse to be so much of a people pleaser and ruin everyone’s else’s fun, you wouldn’t been in a taxi on the way to the hotel already.

the next bar salvaged the night however. walking in, your favourite 2000s girls song played, like a promising omen the night was only going up from now on.

you were handed a complimentary cocktail, a little warm but surprisingly nice, and were led to a high table in front of the perfect spot to both people watching in the club and out on the street. it was a better gig, and soon enough, for the first time all day, everyone was laughing.

your shoulders eased, no longer worried about your top as neon lights seems to disguise it anyway, yet still, something in your stomach wouldn’t allow you to fully relax like beforehand.

you stirred the ice in your cup until tammy pulled you up to dance, taking pity on you when she looked at your top again.

you were half-dancing, half-swaying with them when faye leaned in close, shouting over the bass.

“okay, okay, don’t look yet — the guy at the bar in the white shirt?”

you turned your head immediately.

“i said don’t look!” she smacked your arm.

you grinned, eyes flicking anyway.

he was tall, brown hair falling in his face, smiling with someone beside him. the haircut was giving my dad owns a yacht, but the nike bag said my dad’s in jail for dealing and breeding XL bullies.

“he’s my type to a tee,” faye said, gripping her drink. “literally, like, if i built a man on sims—”

“—you want to woohoo,” beth cut in, laughing.

faye shoved her. “shut up!”

that cracked you up - woohoo. “go talk to him.”

“no!” she looked at you like you were crazy.

“why? he’s just a guy,” you said, “just go up to the bar and order a drink. he’ll talk to you, i know he will.”

she contemplated, and took your advice. “ok. what’s a cool drink to order?”

you rolled your eyes, letting the girls answer that one as you went back to dancing. after a minute, you looked over and saw them talking to each other, faye’s smile the biggest you saw it all holiday.

“i’m yet to see one guy i’ve really fancied this holiday,” tammy said, mirroring your moves.

“what about the bartender that looked like bad bunny? didn’t you get talking to him after his shift?”

“yeah . .”

“so?”

“he was nice but he wasn’t actually bad bunny . . smelt good though. good kisser.”

you both laughed, twirling around under the other’s arm.

20 minutes later after some intense dancing, you were up ordering the next round of drinks, deciding to surprise everybody with a shot. courtney had alerted you the guys had showed up and that you were all using their table by the DJ booth while occupying the dance floor.

you didn’t see alfie.

“i’m going to the bathroom, anyone come with me?” faye asked, and tammy and beth followed. courtney remained on the dance floor while jess went outside with dylan to nick his vape as she didn’t have her own.

“shit! my drink,” you said to yourself, going back to the bar.

it was still there when you got it, but even in your slightly tipsy state, you hesitated in actually taking it. your mum had lectured you long enough on leaving your drinks unintended before you’d even bought your plane tickets. you’d fill her with shame right now.

“hi! sorry – i think someone dropped something in this? a pill?” you mimicked someone spiking your drink to the bartender in hopes they understood what you were saying — you weren’t lying. he looked shocked at your confession, and immediately grabbed the drink and threw it down the sink, binning the cup, making you a new one without question.

you smiled appreciatively at him and he winked, giving you a thumbs up.

“seems like you’re on a generational run for a good night, ruined top and now been spiked.”

you looked to your left to see the boy from earlier — the sims one, the one faye was after.

he looked at your top, gesturing to the large reddish stain still coating it.

“who said it was ruined? i might have done this on purpose.”

he laughed, not expecting that as your answer. “hm. s’pose you pull it off,” he raised a shoulder.

you looked off to the side, straightening a bit, looking around for your friends. “who are you anyway? the fashion police?”

he chuckled at that, shaking his head. “i’m dan.”

you raised your head, like you didn’t actually care, but slipped him your name in return. “you were talking to my friend earlier.”

he raised his head, not going into it. “what are you drinking?”

you pointed to the drink being constructed. “hopefully a non-spiked vodka.”

he laughed again, not catching how you’d dodged his flirt tactic of buying you a drink. sweet though. “have you been here long?”

“a few days. we leave after tomorrow.”

“we just got here.”

“yeah. we all don’t want to leave. my friend - the one you were talking to - she suggested here. it’s our first time,” you tried to bring faye up again, “she always finds the best places.”

“yeah?”

“yeah,” you looked at him, making your intentions obvious.

he let out a small breath, thanking the bartender for his drink. “your friend’s nice . . but i have a thing for girls with spilt drink all over them, it’s so weird.”

“she’s shy - nervous,” you defend her, “you should talk to her again, she pointed you out”

he pulled a contemplative look, a playfulness to his face, “you’re easier to talk to.”

talking to him for the next five minutes was hard - you steered the conversation towards faye any chance you could, and when he leaned closer to hear you, you kept stepping back, not minding a friendly conversation, but you knew when a guy’s every move was calculated. it was actually kind of funny. his commitment was funny. “why are you on your own anyway, you weirdo?”

“if you saw my friendgroup, you’d never give me a chance.”

“you never had a chance to begin with?” you laughed loudly, confused he thought it had changed, and he laughed too, unashamed of your repetitive rejection.

maybe that’s why you hadn’t walked away yet, because he was a decent lad who could handle rejection rather than throw a fit like every other insecure man.

dan had class. it made him likeable. you couldn’t wait to tell faye how easy he was if she played her cards right. “seriously. if i get my friend, will you talk to her? you’re both so tall, you already have so much in common.”

he laughed, hand on his stomach at your desperation to match make.

“seriously, faye has killer legs, please,” you begged, laughing at yourself. he didn’t say no.

when he left for the toilet, you scanned the room for them, running to their table.

“faye!” you tried not to laugh, excited to spill all the info you found out about the guy so she could construct a game plan. it was perfect. “faye, your boyfriend—”

her ring-clad hands slammed on the table as she stood up, halting you in your giggles and steps as she stormed off, shocking you to silence.

you looked to the others for an indication of an elephant in the room you clearly had not saw. they didn’t say anything.

“faye?”

silence.

“what? . .” you began following her, “what’s wrong?”

“WHAT?!” she immediately spun around, drink in her hand, standing stiff. “what do you mean, ‘what?’ ‘what’s wrong?’ you’re a slimey PRICK y/n.”

your face fell, confusion flooding your body. “what?! what are you on about?!”

she walked on, the others grabbing everything to follow you both. “faye?”

“OH MY GOD! NO Y/N. you’re not acting dumb right now!” she stopped strutting and turned around to warn you. “do not be one of those girls right now.”

“what’s wrong?! i was coming to tell you about your little boyfriend at the bar—”

she laughed in your face. “HA! ‘my boyfriend?!’ you’re a joke, calling him my boyfriend when you literally just stood the last ten minutes batting your lashes, feeling him up, making him laugh!”

your mouth was on the floor.

“yeah, that’s right. exactly. nothing to say.”

“faye, i was talking about you!—”

“—you were laughing, y/n! like, full-on laughing. everyone saw it!”

your heart sank. “i was helping you.”

“you don’t need to,” faye snapped. “i can talk to guys myself! and besides - i really doubt you were taking about me. of course you’re going to say that.”

you looked at the girls for back up, but they shifted uncomfortably, eyes flicking between them. they locked on beth.

“i mean . . from here it did look like you fancied him . .”

your brows shot up, face in shock. looking to tammy, looking to jess in disbelief.

she nodded in agreement.

you ignored them, approaching faye, reaching for her arm, “faye, i was literally trying to wingman for you, i swear—”

“—YOU DON’T NEED TO Y/N!” she scoffed, a wobble in her tone. “just being a pick-me once again, getting on with the lads when you know they fancy you, acting like you’re doing me a favour! you just make me look stupid, standing here while you’re all over him! and telling him i like him?!” she blinked excessively, her false lashes fluttering. “you actually drive me mad, y/n, you’d be dangerous if you used your brain. if you read the room.”

this wasn’t fair. you felt like crying at how misunderstood this whole situation was, “faye i swear, come talk to dan! he’s lovely!—”

“—FUCK OFF Y/N!” she pushed you away from her, your touch only irritating her, “I DON’T CARE ANYMORE! JUST FUCK OFF!”

you stood in disbelief, the girls slipping by you to chase after her as she stormed off, heels clacking aggressively.

you couldn’t believe how quickly things could switch up in just 10 minutes.

‘faye don’t go’ and ‘she didn’t mean it’, ‘ignore her’, ‘he was ugly anyway!’ all follow in their tracks, leaving you standing at the same club with your mouth barely open.

you stood for a while, waiting for them to come back, for even one of them to come back to stay with you, to comfort you . . but they didn’t.

you waited for another 5 minutes until you felt for your phone and realised you didn’t have it, realised your bag was still at the table, left up for grabs.

you rushed back inside to the table, and magically, it was still there, open, but phone and everything still there.

heading to the bathroom, you squeezed between bodies, trying to avoid swishing cups of drink when you met eyes with a familiar set of green ones in your tracks. your whole body stuttered.

way to feel like an even bigger asshole.

alfie didn’t even look mad, but it wasn’t his regular gaze, and his eyes looked darker, in contrast to the daylight when they were so evidently olive green.

a guy slammed into you, so hard you lurched forward into alfie, his hands saving you from actually falling into him whilst your bag shot out, the components flying to the floor.

the little bag hit the concrete like it weighed a tonne.

your eyes flew to it.

so did alfie’s.

he looked at you.

you looked at him.

you dropped to a squat, snatching it up along with your phone, ID and lip liner too, shoving them all into your bag before pushing past him.

fuck.

fuck fuck fuck.

“Y/N! . . . Y/N!”

your feet sped down the few steps of the side exit when that familiar, strong hand pulled you to a halt. “y/n stop runnin on!” he argued, “you don’t need to bounce, you’re gonna lose your mates!”

“they left me anyway!” you shot back before your brain could stop you.

his face changed.

he straightened slightly, eyes narrowing — not judging now, just . . thinking.

“left you?”

“i mean—“ you scoffed at yourself, for your stupidity to let that slip to him. of all people.

“is it about that boy?” he asked, quieter this time. “the one you were talking to?”

you furrowed your brows at that. “what boy?”

“the one at the bar?” he answered, “faye was talking to him first and then you were. you both like him.”

your face couldn’t have been more disgusted and confused by his comment.

“do i FUCK!”

alfie’s brows raised.

you took a seat on the curb, trying to piece together what instigation ever gave that impression. “i swear i don’t.”

your fingers weaved through your hair as you replayed the conversation, the footpath feeling warm against your bare legs. “i swear i don’t, alfie, i wasn’t talking to him like that, i was literally trying to set him up with faye and everyone—”

you stopped talking.

what use was this?

it’s not like anybody was going to believe you . . if that was how it was coming across to everybody - and it always seemed to be that way - then really only you were to blame.

you were easy to talk to, easy to charm people, and maybe, sometimes, they mistook that for flirting.

it was something you were going to have to work on, tone down a bit.

letting out a breath, you stared ahead at the road, now just becoming annoyed at yourself. “doesn’t matter. it doesn’t matter.”

alfie didn’t move. he just watched you get into your head from a few steps behind, his empathy creeping in on him as he stared at your back. “i wasn’t accusing you.”

“why are you watching me anyway?” you deadpanned.

his mouth went dry.

he didn’t know why he kept watching you, his eyes just naturally found you and he could never look away. “i dunno.”

well, at least he was honest.

you half-expected him to say ‘i wasn’t’ and argue with him on that, but now he owned it so now you just had your back up for no reason.

silence. again.

the feel his presence was annoying you.

why was he still standing here? he was saying nothing and yet, you knew he had a thousand questions on the tip of his tongue.

“where’d your mates go?”

“another club.”

“without you?”

“i was at the toilet.”

“so they left . . . without you.”

“just fuck off alfie,” you spat with your back still to him.

he didn’t say anything.

didn’t move.

didn’t even huff heavily.

a few minutes passed when you thought he left, but looking over your shoulder, he still stood there, hands casually in his pockets, concern etched on his face.

“—oh my god! why are you still here?”

“because you’re sat on a fucking curb, on your own, with drugs in your bag and your mates god knows where,” he said, tone tight but controlled. he wasn’t shouting, but he was clearly frustrated, maybe even worried but trying not to let it show a lot, “i’m not leaving you like that.”

the acknowledgment of the drugs in your bag had your feistiness stolen.

“. . . i’m literally fine.”

you heard movement behind you and soon enough, he was lowering himself next to you, his aftershave hitting you hard — now familiar, annoyingly comforting. he leaned his elbows over his knees. you looked at him cautiously while he just spared you a quick glance, keeping his head straight.

“. . . what are you doing alfie? . . seriously?”

your eyes scanned him. deep within, you wanted to believe he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart - the kindness of his soul - but the thing at the front of your mind were the words imogen had said to you, wondering if this was all part of his sickening game plan - pretending to care so much, pretending to like you, pretending to be this protective, soft-hearted lad - just to get you where he wanted you.

in your knickers. “what does it matter to you if i’m here alone or not?”

he pulled a face like it was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard you say. “you serious?”

“yes! yeah i’m serious!” you wickedly laughed, “why do you care so much? or do you not just care at all and doing all this ‘cause you’re after something?” you narrowed your eyes.

he pulled that same confused look, the one with tones of irritation, eyes narrowing like your own as if you’d finally began to get under his skin. “not after anythin,” he scoffed, “and even if i didn’t care about you, it’s not in my nature to leave a poor girl — a girl i know — alone, in a foreign country at night, let alone on a strip full of blokes who are off their heads.”

you pried your eyes off him, swallowing your argument.

he kept going.

“—trust me to fuck off and leave you then wake up to the news of some teenage girl brutally murdered or missing after a night out and i didn’t do anything? yeah, no thanks.”

you tried to fire something back, but you were beat. you just wanted him to go, feeling worse for keeping him from his mates.

he didn’t seem to care. he was settled next to you like he was going nowhere.

“alfie . . .” you sighed again, quieter now, “i don’t need you to babysit me . .”

“didn’t say you did.”

“then go.”

“no,” he said simply, finally turning to you fully, his eyes dragging across your face with that same, stupid mixture of annoyance and concern that made your stomach twist.

“you don’t care that much!” you humourlessly laughed.

“i do care.”

“why? give me one reason.”

just say it, just fucking say it.

“don’t need a reason.”

“yeah you do.”

“no,” he said, frustratingly soft, “i really don’t.”

you stared at the side of his face, jaw clenching. “literally wasting your time, chasing after me for what reason. to lecture me?”

“i’m not lecturing you.”

“you’re judging me then,” you snapped, “with your little looks— watching the bag fall out my handbag like i’m some dirty sket—”

“—i’m not judging you.” he screwed his face up in disguise you even even think that, “and i definitely don’t think your a dirty sket. ever.”

you turned to look at him, but he was already looking at you.

really looking.

no judgement.

no anger.

no mockery.

just worry, and some genuineness; able to look you in the eye and promise he meant what he said. a beat passed of you just looking at each other.

“i chased you because you looked scared.”

you blinked.

looking away, you stared at the tarmac. “i wasn’t scared.”

“you were,” he said, not accusing, “and you’re still shaking.”

you looked down.

hands shaking. “it’s cold.”

“30 degrees mate.”

that pulled the corner of your lips up.

you tried to hide it, but he’d saw.

you didn’t really know what you were waiting about for.

after a couple minutes silence, you decided to stand, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. “i’m just going to go back to the hotel. you should go back inside before you lose your mates.”

“you could stay with us . . if you want,” he stood up, hoping he didn’t sound too desperate, “you don’t need to go back.”

“i’m not really in the mood for drinking anymore. i’ll get something to eat and go t—”

“OH MY GOD — Y/N!”

jumping, startled, you shot around, met with the glammed faces of your friends. you relaxed.

“ARE YOU STUPID?!”

before you could comprehend what was going on, faye was in front of you, her shoulders up, arm darting out in a rant. “—we’ve just spent the last 10 minutes looking for you, ringing you, texting you and no answer! you can’t do that, y/n, we thought something happened!” her frustration was evident. “do you not know how to work a phone all of a sudden?!”

your hand dipped into your bag and yeah, there were 4 missed calls from her alone, 11 in total with 18 text messages.

fuck. your bad.

“i didn’t hear it ring—” you started.

“—y/n you literally gave us a fucking heart attack! that’s rule number ONE, don’t run off on your own?! what are you playing at?!”

but you didn’t run off on your own? to be honest, you didn’t appreciate the way faye was talking to you, but you knew it was from a place of fear, of being scared from losing sight of you, and yeah, you didn’t help with that by not answering them. you might deserve it, but she could see now you were perfectly fine.

“i didn’t know where you guys went,” you started to laugh at how ridiculous this all was, but none of them were laughing.

courtney stood with her arms folded, not mad but not laughing. “y/n we literally got imogen to ring you as well.”

“you’re actually thick. imagine your mum finding out you got left on your own?!” faye’s fingers latched tightly around your forearm. “hurry up.”

alfie cut infront of you, his own hand knocking faye’s hand from yours. “—don’t fuckin’ grab her like that!”

silence.

faye’s mouth dropped, fury blinding her as he hit her hand, “who are you fucking getting involved?!”

“—i saw you, you were digging your fucking nails into her arm!”

the girls were silent.

faye was staring at him with her mouth open, her makeup hiding the heat crawling up her neck.

you didn’t know what to do either. you didn’t want a fight between them and you certainly didn’t want to take sides but-

“—alfie it’s fine,” you cut in, holding an arm out to him to get him to back off. “faye, you—”

you looked down at your arm.

there was little moon crescent like marks on your arm where she’d grabbed you. even burst blood vessels - not bleeding - but on the verge, “—my arm’s not that sore—”

“—oh my fucking god,” she threw her head back, as if in disbelief what you’d just said.

“—don’t fucking deny it!” alfie cut in again.

“i grabbed her arm you fucking knobhead, i’m hardly gonna dig my nails into her!”

“i just fucking watched you!” he was standing protectively, not backing down no matter how much she tried to gaslight him. he saw what he saw and he’d had enough, “all of you can fuck off, she’s not going with you.”

“mind your business, butthole—”

“—she’s not.” alfie’s voice was steady, his eyes sharp. he meant it.

all eyes turned to you.

you looked between them both, between them all, and your muscle memory had you following your home clan of wedges, hairspray and handbags, but the faint sting still pulsing on your wrist felt like a quiet warning, a reminder of what had just happened and who it came from.

“i—”

“YOU’RE GOING TO STAY HERE?! WITH HIM?” faye held her arm out in alfie’s direction.

“n—no, no, i—” your heart hammered, because on one hand, you were conditioned to defend them - it was your natural instinct - your right as their friend, but . . on the other . .

alfie was so clearly right.

so clearly right and you’d be the biggest asshole to throw him under the bus when he was the only person to defend you.

if ever. “everyone just chill out, ok?! everything’s fine, you don’t need to argue,” you didn’t want either one to leave. you didn’t have to worry about alfie leaving. you knew faye and the girls were a ticking time bomb and you did not want to set them off. “alfie, it’s fine. faye—”

faye’s eyes shot to you.

“you . . you did grab me a bit hard—”

the silence that followed was icy.

courtney’s eyebrows lifted.

tammy let out a single, shocked laugh.

faye’s face burned — not with shame, but offence.

“—right,” she said flatly, “okay. good to know whose side you’re on.”

your stomach dropped. “i’m not on anyone’s side—”

“—no, no,” beth cut in, crossing her arms, tone clipped, “you wanna stay out here with him? fine. stay.”

alfie tensed beside you. you felt every bit of him, the way his stance squared, the way he was ready to bite back.

their eyes, all of them, flicked between you and him. judging. deciding. writing their own narrative.

“we’re going to palo,” courtney said. “if you wanna come, come. if not . . . ” she gestured vaguely at alfie, “. . . enjoy yourself.”

they turned on their heels and didn’t wait.

faye was already squealing to them about you, talking like you weren’t there, and then they disappeared into the crowd.

the air had never felt so thick.

the lump in your throat had never been so painful.

and why?

why would you cry over them?! you refused to.

“y/n.”

alfie’s hand grazed your shoulder. he knew you needed comfort right now but he didn’t know how to do it. your shoulders sagged with defeat as his fingers applied a soft pressure, letting you know he was still there and not leaving you. “y/n.”

“yeah?”

“you alright?”

you nodded. “yeah . . yeah, i . . .” you turned around to face him, “i’m sorry about all that—”

“—you don’t need to apologise for any of that,” he turned his face up, “and you shouldn’t be annoyed either. they’ll realise they were in the wrong.”

you laughed, but it didn’t quite reach your chest. “i don’t think so.”

it wasn’t just the argument, it wasn’t just the night, it was the weight of everything lately – feeling out of place in your own skin, feeling guilty when you were having fun without them, not knowing who you could turn to for support in the group.

the conflict was eating at you. “i . . . i don’t even know anymore.” you sighed.

alfie was quiet.

his gaze never left you.

then, a moment later, he gave a small, quiet exhale, almost like he was holding back something of his own, “they don’t deserve the space they take up in your head.”

you nodded to show you heard him, even if you didn’t believe it.

alfie knew you’d never leave them, as much as he wished you would; wished you would wake up and realise how draining it was to endure this so often, but he knew you wouldn’t.

and there was no point turning you against him now. he’d have to let you figure that part out on your own, in your own time.

so he decided, for now, to tell you what you wanted to hear, for the sake of comforting you in any way he could right now.

“. . they’ll cool down, you know how they are,” he tried again, hand reaching for your back, “. . do you wanna head back to the hotel? . . . get pizza or something on the way?”

you nodded, before adding, “you don’t have to come. i’ll be fine on my own.” you didn’t want to drag him away from the boys. your night was ruined, not his.

he shook his head, “it’s fine. let’s go.”

“well . . don’t you want to let the guys know?” you adjusted your handbag strap.

“don’t need to,” he fell into step with you, “i’m a guy, so . . doesn’t really matter where i disappear off to. i’m not at risk, am i?” he looked down at you.

you looked up at him, eyes playfully narrowed, “and if you get jumped by a group?”

“well i’m gonna have to take 2 and you’re gonna have to take 2, aren’t you,” he let out a breath in a funny tone, like he’d actually shit himself if the moment arose. you giggled into yourself before falling to silence, the smile feeling unnatural on your face.

you walked in silence for a minute, head bowed, your mind replaying the whole ordeal on a loop — every raised voice, every look, every twist that somehow made you the villain. with each replay your mood dipped lower until you felt like you were sinking into the pavement.

that saturday night flight couldn’t come quick enough.

alfie kept pace beside you, shoulder to . . well, his shoulder to your neck, really, close enough that he could feel the way you’d curled in on yourself.

he kept glancing between the pavement and you, and every time his eyes landed on you it hit him a little harder: the sight of you did something awful to him.

your top still stained from where one had knocked their drink over you, arms wrapped around your ribs like you were holding yourself together - your poor scratched wrist that made his jaw clench. your heels clicked in a lonely, defeated rhythm on the sidewalk in contrast to the whole group you always heard together. he imagined how excited you would have been getting ready, happy with yourself, feeling good in your outfit - all to be ripped from you.

you weren’t crying, weren’t even talking, but everything about you looked small.

sad. like you were walking on autopilot just to get away from the scene you’d been pushed out of. the smallness of your steps, the way your eyes didn’t bother lifting from the ground, it really nipped at his heart - because he knew how embarrassing this was deep down for you.

he could see it — the humiliation you were trying to swallow. the way you kept your chin down like you were ashamed of something you hadn’t even done. it made his stomach twist.

he’d always known you were loyal, but now he could see the cost of it — how lonely it made you.

how much you swallowed just to keep the peace.

and for the first time that night, he felt genuinely lost on what to do. he wanted to fix it all for you, to make you feel better, but he just didn’t know what to do.

debating with himself, he looked at you, then looked away, jaw working like he was arguing with his own thoughts - then looked again — and he just gave in.

his arm slid around your shoulders and he tugged you gently into his side, hand on her arm, just letting you know you didn’t have to hold yourself up alone.

for a second, you were still locked in your own head — and then you melted into him, your arms slipping around his waist, cheek pressed to his torso, holding onto him the best you could while walking.

the warmth was instant. welcoming. exactly what your body had been wishing for without even realising. you let out the smallest exhale, and a small, tired smile tugged at your lips because this was what you’d needed.

a good, comforting hug. a real one.

alfie felt it too, the way you softened; the way you leaned into him. he looked down at you briefly, eyes softening, and tightened his arm around you a little - protective, steady, rubbing his hand up and down yours — silently promising you weren’t walking back alone.

the chaos of the night seemed to fade as you walked side by side. his presence beside you was strangely comforting, and for once, you didn’t feel the weight of the world on your shoulders.

it felt natural - familiar even, like it had always been this way, even though you both knew it hadn’t.

the walk back to the hotel felt slower, more deliberate — but in the best way. no more drama. no more fighting - just you and him, walking in sync, without saying much, but saying enough.

and for the first time in a while, despite sharing a small cramped hotel room with 5 other girls, you didn’t feel so alone.

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joeljoeljoel legend has it jay is still floating in the water

alfie has ridiculously large and pretty hands. he takes advantage of them, too. uses them with purpose.

purpose behind every teasing swirl of his fingers as he ghosts over your clit and circles your entrance.

each curl of his long digits as he fingers you until you see stars; until you're squirting on his bed and making a mess that he won't even hesitate to fuck you straight into.

he'll make you suck them clean as he sinks into you, praising sickly sweet as he pushes your tongue down and spits onto it before essentially finger-fucking your mouth.

until he's fully stretched you out, going intentionally slow sometimes just to see you gag on his fingers a bit longer.

his hands are all over your body as he fucks you. they never stop. never give you a chance to rest, to try and figure out where they might go next.

your clit, your chest, your face, your waist, ass, stomach, thighs. all over, non-stop. if he wants to touch something, it gets touched.

there's two options for where his hands go when he cums:

cupping your face, completely engulfing it in his soft grasp as he presses his forehead to yours; telling you how you feel so fucking perfect that he'll never let you get away.

cradling your cheeks and letting you suck on his thumb to cope with his pounding getting rougher as he gets closer to his peak all while praising how well you take him.

or, if he's feeling meaner or more possessive; one around your neck and the other on your waist to pin you in place.

fucking feral in the way his hips snap into yours and practically preaching that you're his girl, and his alone and he'll fuck you so hard you forget anyone who came before him.

if your hands start fidgeting and grabbing at him, he'll pin them down with his. lace your fingers together and squeeze your hands gently while he kisses you until you're dizzy.

his hands cradle you to his chest when you're done, stroking your head and cooing about how good you did. wiping up any tears or sweat that may be on you.

trailertrash!ab who treats you like shit but you love him nonetheless.

trailertrash!ab who calls you a ‘bitch’ and a ‘tart’ as a term of endearment.

trailertrash!ab who’s actually a big softie when he wants to be. 

trailertrash!ab who’s the biggest cuddler in bed when you both don’t want to have sex. 

trailertrash!ab who appreciates a good kiss rather than a quick shag.

trailertrash!ab who forgets your birthday but in a way to try and ‘redeem’ himself buys you a half price cake that’s going out of date as a way to show his affection.

trailertrash!ab who asks you to marry him after only a couple of months of dating because you’re the only person who’s stayed with him for that long.

trailertrash!ab who’s a stoner and a slob (in the nicest way possible), and does fuck all to help you around the trailer.

trailertrash!ab who leaves you with a newborn baby and two toddlers for hours on end because in all honesty he doesn’t want to look after them.

trailertrash!ab who constantly breaks up with you but always comes running back because you’re the only one who actually loves him.

trailertrash!ab who loses his shit when his children disrespect you in any way shape or form.

trailertrash!ab who’s the freeuse king. loves when you wear short skirts around the trailer so he can fuck you over any surface.

trailertrash!ab who’s the messiest munch to ever exist. he’s always spitting on your cunt and letting it drool and drip all down you.

trailertrash!ab who’s a chronic grunter during sex, and incredibly loud.

trailertrash!ab who accidentally breaks the bed during sex with you because he was getting too into it.

trailertrash!ab who loves when you wear his oversized, grubby t-shirts around the trailer after having sex with him.

trailertrash!ab who makes you share a shower with him under the guise of ’saving water’, but really does it so you can have sex in the shower together.

trailertrash!ab who never wears a condom (because he says it’s just another expense) and has the biggest breeding kink even though they can’t afford another kid.

instantly, you turned your head left, just in time to see jay and carter walking out of a shop across the narrow street while the other three hung about outside it. they noticed your group the minute you were directly across from them.

"aww, look, it’s the little love island cast off to get their hash browns," joel called over, his legs dangling over a wall.

“fuck off!” courtney replied cheerily, not stopping in her tracks.

“i do actually love a hash brown,” you spoke quietly from the end of the line.

jay stood in a white muscle-t with his hands in his shorts pockets, a plastic bag hanging from his wrist. “text us if you need advice on how to order an orange juice, we're basically locals now."

that did make you snicker.

the café was a 10/10 and you knew from just the sight of the ice coffee being placed in on your table that you’d be coming back here every morning. the air-con was the perfect touch as you all indulged in your plates of french toast, pancakes, avocado on toasts and fruit bowls. “this french toast is so good.”

“i want to keep eating but i’m so full. i’m going to look like a whale in my swimsuit,” courtney shoved another piece into her mouth.

“i already look 9 months pregnant from that first sip of coffee,” you sighed, slouched in your chair, you pushed your bloated belly out so much that it almost did look like you were 9 months pregnant. they all laughed.

“can we call in to a shop on the way back so i can get a towel?”

“yeah, i need stuff too. and more drinks for later.”

tamsin called into a random shop for a beach bag and faye went with her for her beach towel, while the rest of you had a nosey at what else it offered: sunglasses, magnets, some knock-off crocs.

“aw wait girls, i’m going to get some watermelon,” you announced, walking across the street to the market.

a lizard ran across jess’s foot on your way back which sent her into a horror-like shriek. you laughed. she didn’t. you took more pictures on your way back to the apartment, talking utter nonsense between yourselves.

“y/n what’s the deal between your brother and that girl he was seeing? is she his girlfriend?”

“don’t know, to be honest,” you admitted, “he never tells us anything. he’s so secretive.”

“he’s so gorg,” tammy said like it pained her.

“he’s such an arsehole,” you said truthfully, although it did remind you that you should probably call your family at some point today, before you went out.

you went through the back of the complex to the outside bit, considering your room was at the back and a set of steps led up to it from there, it meant you avoided the obviously judgemental clerk at the front desk who looked like she’d bet her payslip you guys would have the room trashed.

you opened the gate, carrying your melon like a newborn in your other arm, to quickly reveal the boys already hanging around the pool, their towels on sunloungers and belongings scattered on the tables.

"oi oi! here comes melon mum!”

“what's her name, then?"

“who’s the dad?”

faye already began giggling while you tried not to roll your eyes.

they seriously had a response to everything.

adjusting the watermelon like it was a newborn, you didn’t stop walking. “don’t talk to her, you’ll scare her.”

“she’s already terrified if you’re the mum,” jay claimed.

you lazily pointed you finger at him on your way past, “it’s your head i'm aiming for when i throw it."

they all laughed.

ᯓ ✈︎

you sat at the end of the sunbed in your leopard print bikini, a cap fitted tightly to your head. courtney was indulged into a frieda mcfadden book, tamsin had her earphones in, faye and jess were in the pool, arms leaning on the edge and beth was working hard not to look like a milk bottle. “beth, are you sure you don’t want this one? i use this one and it still—”

“—nope. i want to fry,” she cut you off with a raised hand, not wanting a smudge of spf near her.

you let her be, shrugging, continuing to scrape spoonfuls of melon into your mouth.

the boys were making their own party. some in the water, one on DJ duty, the other half in-half out on his phone, probably texting his mum.

sweat trickled down you, in creases you never imagined. it was behind your ears, glistening along your stomach, your tits must have been confused why they weren’t in a swimming pool right now. the sun was taking no prisoners. beth might have been onto something, coating yourself in spf might have been pointless after all with the droplets running down your skin.

however, you refused to complain. because if you were in the uk, you’d be complaining it was too cold, so you sucked it up and embraced it, keeping cool with your mini handheld fan, black cap and bottles of water you’d kept frozen in the freezer.

and of course your nice, cold watermelon baby.

“will someone get that shit playlist off. who even has a soundcloud account anymore?”

all the boys raised their hands, not offended by your remark.

“get a decent playlist on,” you pleaded, tilting your head, “who’s is that?” it was bad enough sharing the pool with them, the least they could was play decent music you all liked.

“joel’s.”

“joel, your music’s shit.”

“well we’re not in the mood to hear taylor swift.”

“i won’t play taylor swift! put a holiday playlist on!”

“yeah, summer tunes,” faye added.

he continued scrolling, listening to your wishes. “alfie, you put something on, your music’s alright.”

“my phones over there, mate,” he raised his brows in the direction of his sun chair.

oh for god’s sake, you mentally swore, accepting you might just need to pop your earphones in next.

alfie was waist-deep in the pool, hair soaked and dripping from cannonballing in with jay. he moved slowly through the water, trying to adjust to the cold. his jaw was clenching like it might rattle off its hinges, and the sight of his nipples put you off getting in if his were that pointy.

the music changed to a tune you immediately recognised; with lyrics you could actually sing along to, and instantly the vibes were emasculate. perfect even. the smell of suncream filling your senses, taste of fresh watermelon. the boys were happy messing about amongst themselves in the water while you lot did your own thing - aside from jess and faye who were playing mermaids in the pink rubber ring like it was 2008.

your kindle was next to you, every so often getting tapped to the next page of your little smutty romance series.

water splashed onto the ground as a certain blond threw himself on top of the pink lilo bed, somehow managing not to sink it. he crossed his arms, set his head down, and kept quiet for all . . of three minutes.

“so who do you think the pedo of the school is?”

you were pretty sure you all shot him the same look.

jay didn’t even see it. he didn’t raise his head from the floaty. “well? did you’s hear me?”

you went back to your book, not entertaining the conversation.

“mr murray. not necessarily a pedo but i could so see him going for one of us in a few years,” beth shared her opinion, thinking of your year group. “a young gal.”

“noo, i really like him. he’s like the fun granda. i heard him saying he getting on it in his local on the last day to miss black.”

“nah, it’s deffo mr dickinson. it’s in the name.”

“y/n fancies him,” alfie said.

“no i don’t?” you looked at him half squinting. he just smirked to himself, finding himself funny.

“mr dickinson i wouldn’t be surprised if he has shagged three other teachers in that place. and i’ll name all three of them right now.”

“jay, you’ve always been a fanboy of that guy. do you fancy him?” dylan piped up, wiggling his brows across at his best friend.

“because that’ll be him in 30 years,” tamsin scoffed.

“he’s actually a handsome bloke. old, but like,” jay shrugged his shoulder, “i’d want to look like that in my early 40s.”

“he’s mid 40s.” you corrected.

“she would know, he stops to talk to her all the time,” alfie kept his false rumours going.

“he’s always in our class talking to mrs thompson?!”

jay’s head shot up. “she’s one of my suspects!”

“–and how would you know? are you on guard every time he makes eye contact with me?” you grinned to yourself, getting one back.

alfie shrugged carelessly, “i know how guys think. his eyes say it all.”

“you’re so full of shit,” you actually laughed.

“do you remember the rumour the those two technology teachers were hooking up?”

“yeah, imogen said she saw them leaving and arriving to school before in the same clothes.”

“well that’s false; imogen would have taken photos to prove that point,” carter rolled his eyes, sitting with his hands behind his head on his chair.

“have you any other holidays booked after this one?”

“do you think i’m made of money?”

“you are.”

jess shrugged. “shut up.”

“we plan on going zante,” tammy said.

“i really want to go to greece, i said i would organise it all,” you faced the girls. “i’ll book and do the itinerary and everything.”

“pfffttt. shock. bossy boots back at it,” dylan said.

you ignored him.

jay slipped into the water, but continued to used the lilo to rest his upper half on. “what’s your plans after school? last year ‘n that, y’know.”

the majority answered the same— “uni.”

“same.”

“you want to go to uni?” courtney raised her brows.

“yeah. so does dylan and carter,” he looked to them. “joel’s just gonna stick with work. take on an apprenticeship.”

“yeah, they already promised me it when i leave school,” joel explained.

your eyes then fell on alfie, who was just leaning his back and elbows on the far side of the pool. he clearly had nothing to contribute to the conversation.

“are you gonna go to uni, alfie?” faye asked.

he shrugged, not even looking at her, “doesn’t really appeal to me . . . i don’t really know what i wanna do.”

same, that’s why we’re all going to uni? to postpone adulthood? you chose to keep quiet instead, scraping your watermelon. you’d barely made a dent and already eaten so much.

also, your book was getting steamy.

“what’s imogen doing? eYeLasHeS?!”

“spRaY tAns?”

“NAiLS?”

you didn’t take the bait, knowing you’d ruin the whole vibe if you took it seriously. you let them laugh. “hey, she’d be getting £30-£40 an hour if she did,” is all you said, not lifting your head from your book.

the boys continued tormenting the girls, asking would you rather scenarios and rouge questions you didn’t want to be part of. tammy told them how taking mushrooms in amsterdam was the worse decision of her life and courtney told them who her first ‘boyfriend’ was in first year. joel dunked faye in the water and carter was trying to get everyone on board to do those tiktoks where he pretends to teach some water aerobics and they copy him.

“dylan, you’re getting it in my fuckin’ ear, bro!” alfie took a step back from the boys who were splashing like four year olds, it was starting to piss him off more than he found it funny. jay’s screaming didn’t help either.

he turned his head to dodge another splash, drifting to the side and then stilled when his eyes landed on you.

you were sitting up, legs crossed lazily on the lounge chair, cap dipped low enough to hide your eyes from the blazing sun but not enough to shield the rest of you. from where he sat, all alfie could see was the tip of your nose and the soft curve of your mouth, lips slick and wrapped around the edge of a piece of watermelon you’d carved out from your lap.

his eyes trailed without permission — how could they not? you weren’t even trying, and that made it worse. or better.

you were glistening all over, slick with oil or sweat – or maybe both. whatever it was it didn’t matter, because he couldn’t look away.

he watched your arm flex as you reached for your water bottle, watching your torso shift with it, your body slow and steady. sweat rolled down your stomach like it’d been choreographed to do so, and your bikini top was so tight, well-secured with how it clung to your chest, it might have even been a size too small with the way it hugged your tits.

he blinked slowly, and as he did, a piece of metal hit the ground with a ‘clank!’ and the sound yanked him so hard out of his daydream, he flinched.

he pushed his sunglasses up, glancing off to the side – anywhere, literally anywhere else . . but his eyes found you. again. it was like . . one last glance for good luck.

fuck it. he needed to get out of this pool. it was doing fuck all at keeping him cool now.

oblivious to how anti-social you looked right now, you flicked onto your next chapter, utterly invested. alfie was surprised at how captivated you were by the little screen that wasn’t your phone, clearly in your own bubble. he was surprised you could concentrate so well with all the noise going on.

his muscles tensed as he pushed himself up out of the pool, the water running from his chest down to his abs, the heat hitting him instantly. it was smothering, not allowing him a second to adjust.

you looked up from your book just in time to see him toss his sunglasses onto the nearest chair and rake a hand through his mop of wet hair stuck to his head. your eyes tracked him instinctively, just a quick scan from head to toe, half curious, half questioning what made him get out. but then his gaze panned to the fruit in your lap, and it gave you an indication.

you looked at him for a second longer, before dropping your head, pausing mid-scrape. "i’d offer you a bit but it doesn’t have any protein in it."

alfie slowly smirked, and stopped less than a metre away from you and pulled a face. "i’m picky anyways. don't even like watermelon."

you screwed your face up a bit at that. “so am i . . but it's like . . 90% water . . . what is there not to like?"

he shrugged, water dripping down him like a tower. “dunno. texture. taste. vibe."

"vibe?"

“yeah. moist fruit. bit much."

you stare at him for a second.

what?

you shook your head, "you're so weird."

you didn’t doubt he ate eggs though. rubbery, scrambled egg - the thought alone making a shiver run down your spine. gross.

“have you even tried it?” you glanced up at him, squinting your eyes with the sun, giving him one last opportunity. “this one will literally dissolve on your tongue.”

you’d had your fair share of watermelon, and no tesco, plastic-wrapped fraud could compare to the ones grown abroad.

he stared down at it, his lips tugging in contempt. you scraped a solid half and held it out to him.

he looked at it, and looked to you, his face growing more and more unsure.

he hesitated to take it, but eventually took a step forward. you swear you could smell his aftershave.

you watched him space out in thought, his teeth barely able to chomp down on the texture before it slushed to water. his features dropped, suspicion and confusion crawling into it, he fought the curse word to leave his word. “what—it literally melted in my mouth.”

“i know. it’s 90% water.”

he paused. “weird,” handing you the spoon back. “would just drink a bottle of water then.”

you stared at him.

setting the spoon aside, alfie watched how you clearly had some inner dialogue occurring in your head that mustn’t have been worth a breath, because your expression made him laugh. “you are so weird,” is all you said.

he shrugged again, turning sideways to face the boys. “i’m a picky eater.”

you watched him for a moment, his back facing you, his eyes simply gazing at the bunch of teenagers acting like toddlers with their rough play. "you not going back in?"

alfie shrugged, “carter elbowed me in the jaw like two minutes ago. i’m good."

you huffed a tiny snigger, “you’re pretty chill about it,” you paused, “you’re more chill than i thought you'd be."

alfie snickered, his body jolting with it as he still spoke with his back to you, hovering on his feet, "what, 'cause i've got a shit fade and a gym membership?"

you weren’t expecting that type of reply. “i didn't say that.”

“didn't have to. i remember what you said in the canteen."

your heart freezes for a sec. you weren’t expecting that either.

sensing the pause, he shifted slightly, turning his head to look at you.

you diverted your attention back your food.

“well . . i was defending my friend."

"i know. just saying - you lot have no idea who people actually are half the time."

“well, that's rich coming from someone who's said about five words to me in the last three years."

he slightly grinned, “yeah, on purpose.”

you snapped your head up to him, stunned. the watermelon and everything else now long gone from your mind.

“not tryna make enemies in my last year of school, y’know?” alfie just smirked, turning on his feet to fully face you, his back now to the pool. he had to be winding you up.

"enemies is a bit of a stretch.”

he nodded, “i know. bit of a stretch coming from the twink who used to make skateboarding videos, right?"

hmmm fuck. you’d never experienced the drop in your chest like you did when he’d said that, like your heart had fell out of your arse at being called out like that. not because of confrontation, but because . . you suddenly felt like a horrible fucking person at him reading your words back to you. and he didn’t even have a venom in his tone.

“i was backing imogen."

“i know. you always do."

he doesn't look smug or even annoyed when he says it, the way he’s talking to you in general is driving you insane because he’s being . . peaceful about it. like, his back isn’t up at all.

"i’m not a dick, you know."

alfie’s lips frowned in response, “didn’t say you were."

“you said enemy??”

he shifted onto one leg, his hands holding each end of his towel around his neck. his whole fucking chest and torso was still staring at you and it was getting harder and harder not to look. “you said things you didn't mean 'cause your friend wanted backup, and no offence, but that's kind of your thing."

you furrowed your brows, feeling your back get up. “what? defending my friends? you make that sound like a flaw.”

“not saying it’s a bad thing, but . .” he shrugged again, not an ounce of hostility in his vibe, “you’re like their bloody bodyguard. like you’d slap someone for looking at imogen funny.”

“and?”

he looked at you. “just seems like you’re always taking the hit and,” he let out a long sigh, avoiding your eyes now, “they’re the ones starting shit.”

“it’s called loyalty.”

“is it? when they don’t do it back?”

your jaw almost dropped.

you couldn’t believe you were even having this argument right now. “you don’t even know what you’re talking about. you think you've got it all figured out.”

“i don’t . . buuutt i clock patterns."

“maybe try clocking your own,” you scoffed quietly, leaning down on your chair, done with the conversation.

he didn't argue. just went quiet for a second, letting the noise from the pool fill the silence. “i’m just saying. you come off like a bit of a dick when they're around. but when you're not on guard, you're actually . . . not."

"not what?" you asked sharply.

"not a dick," he said. "you're nice. just no one would know it with the way you get on when you’re with your . . cult."

“that’s kind.”

“oh i am kind,” alfie slowly turned back to the pool, “just not to people who are cunts for no reason.”

you were stunned yet again. you didn’t know if he was talking to you or about you, either way something was ticking.

“you don’t have to be nice to everyone. i’m not. but don’t pretend to be nice to keep up appearances . . if you’re only doing it when no one’s looking.”

you tensed at that.

that hurt something in you, struck a nerve sharp and strong because you know that’s wrong. that’s not you. not even close.

you are kind. you are.

every bone in your body is genuine, that’s your thing - you know you’re a good person, and the idea of anyone ever thinking you weren’t and it was strictly performative—

well, you wanted to go home after hearing him say that.

the thump of music from the speaker suddenly blared in your ears again and a ‘splash’ of the pool broke you out of your daze - jay shouting something about backing off so he could cannonball into the water.

you sat forward, blinking the way people do when they've just been hit with heavy news, when really, you were just being self-centred. you let the world revolve around you for a second as you began re-thinking your entire identity, and the character you clearly didn’t portray whilst sitting on the lounge chair.

. . . but you didn't even get a full second to sulk when a wet and scaly, darting demonic little thing with quick legs zipped out from under your lounger and climbed up a centimetre next to your foot.

you screamed without a second thought.

a loud, piercing, horror movie worthy one at that.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

you leapt up and flung yourself to the closest body before you knew what you were doing - straight into them, clinging for protection.

alfie, obviously.

he barely had time to register your hands were on him, too freaked out himself with your sudden bloodcurdling scream. "WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!"

his hand grabbed your arm like he’d thought someone had climbed the wall with a machete, pulling you back as if it’d do anything.

you pointed to the lizard and only shrieked again when it ran down again.

“WHAT?! FUCKING WHAT?!”

“LIZARD!”

“WHAT?!” his face fell, trying to see, “STOP YELLING!”

yet his fingers were digging into you.

he was still scared.

“IT RAN AT ME!”

“IT WON’T DO ANYTHING!”

you looked up at him from his side with a straight stare, “it could’ve bit and poisoned me,” you said like it was obvious.

“a lizard won’t touch you,” he released his grip finally when reassured it wasn’t an axe-murderer. “where is it?”

“alfie don’t it c—DON’T!” you jumped when it darted out from under the bed near him.

“FUCK!” alfie jumped back into you, your arm now shooting out to hold him back, “fast little fucker!”

you both watched it climb the wall in seconds, standing out against the sandy brick with its dull green skin and long tail. it shot up into the tree on the other side of your garden.

“URGH!”

you shivered at the thought of it running up your body.

laughter sounded behind you; your friend group getting a show.

alfie turned to the boys, his thumb jutting to the wall it had ran on. “did you fucking see that?!”

jay was laughing, “fucking lightening bolt!”

“it was on a fucking mission!” he laughed back, and you dropped your hand, realising you were still grasping his bicep. wow. ew. cringe.

“what colour was it?”

“where’d it go?!”

“was it big?”

“it was like this size,” you answered with your hands demonstrating, getting another shiver: “EW!”

the girls all seemed to agree as they shook off their unsettlement, “at least it wasn’t a snake!”

“at least it wasn’t poisonous!”

“i know!” you agreed, lifting your towel and sitting somewhere else. you shivered again, rubbing your arm. “ew. disgusting.”

“y/n, you screamed like you’d been murdered,” jess laughed loudly.

“it was zooming about the show!” you argued, snatching your towel up from the chair. “i’m never sitting there again!”

“was it a baby crocodile?”

you froze, the laughter dying instantly.

you did a double-take at the water, setting your towel down as you replayed the most diabolical question you’d just been asked in your head.

“no jay . . . it wasn’t a baby crocodile.”

ᯓ ✈︎

watching the boys was entertaining. you don’t know how long passed but you were proud for lasting so long out under the sun like you did. between watching them, sleeping, reading your book, listening to music and yapping with the girls, you couldn’t believe it was 4PM when you woke up from your nap.

you remembered the days you couldn’t sit still for longer than 20 minutes in the sun before playing in the water with a beach ball.

"right, if i get any redder, i’m gonna have to peel off my own skin,” beth said, taking her glasses off.

she was a tad burnt, but she deffo had worst sunburn on other holidays.

tam groaned after her, sitting up, “i’m so hungry. i need crisps.”

“i need a roast dinner.”

"i’m going up for aloe. my shoulders are sizzled."

the girls started gathering their things, lifting towels and beach bags, ready to go up to maybe make a move to get ready. you grabbed the scraps of your melon as well, ready to trot upstairs as the boys waved you off like mum’s dropping their kids off at school. “bye melon mum!”

you threw a chunk of green skin, clocking him right on the head.

the boys laughed at the floating bit of fruit now in the water – their entertainment sorted for the next 20 minutes.

jess ran ahead to use the shower. it got to that point in the holiday where you all lounged about, some outfits thrown here and there but really it was phone time - a time to scroll and go mute, maybe text the parents.

THE GALS™

imogen 👑

how’s my gals xx

imogen 👑

genuinely gutted not being there this year but this villa is elite

the walk-in wardrobe still isn’t big enough for me 😂😂

imogen 👑

send me all the gossip pls

someone better have pulled already x

faye 🦋

immy weve been here 30 hours 🤣😭

tammy 🌴

i actually have heatstroke who let me drink 4 wkds at 11am

y/n 🪩

lol chill out it was only wkd u crazy girl !

courtney 🎀

aw fs i’ve left my speaker down with them

someone go get it before they nick it on me

jess 🌼

y/n you go, alfie and you are buds now 🤪

y/n 🪩

hahahaha fuck off

imogen 👑

WHAT

imogen 👑

sorry what?????

i come here to ask how my girls are getting on and they’re making friends with those absolute MAGGOTS

are yous well?????

y/n?????!!!!!

y/n 🪩

what?

beth 🛍️

she’s in love now x

leave her alone

imogen 👑

FUCK OFF

NOW

i’m gonna be sick

y/n 🪩

omgg imogen she’s winding you up

imogen 👑

no i’m actually sick

are they seriously there??

i thought you were joking when you said they were in the same complex

are they in your pool???

tammy 🌴

it’s one pool

yeah we’ve just chilled out today, it’s too hot to be on our phones stg 35° 😩😩

courtney 🎀

no it’s actually chill, kinda jokes how we’re all at the same complex lol

like they’re not even that bad, is that mental to say?? like i thought they’d be worse

imogen 👑

courtney you’ve got fucking stockholm syndrome surely

casey 🍒

hiiiii girlllls 💕

beth 🛍️

hey case!!!! 💘💘 how r u girl

jess 🌼

yeah it’s so chill

they’re just doing their own thing, we’re doing ours

just all having a laugh at the pool

imogen 👑

A LAUGH???

what else have you let happen under my nose???

are we having full proper convos with them now??? inside jokes?? inviting them to sit w you???

laughing WITH and not AT??

y/n 🪩

we’re not inviting them to sit with us, we have to share the pool

or troop to the beach instead

imogen 👑

troop to the beach??

y/n 🪩

i’m terrified of seaweed imogen

imogen 👑

i wouldn’t care

how have you not moved hotels????

beth 🛍️

cus they haven’t done anything awful yet ? 😭🫣

courtney 🎀

they’re behaving

imogen 👑

i swear to god

if one of you starts fancying any of them i’ll drown you and then him

y/n 🪩

NO ONE FANCIES ANYONE

you’re making up scenarios now

imogen 👑

are yous being serious?? are they all trying it on w each of u??

faye 🦋

no just the usual

faye 🦋

like carter said do i want an ice cube from his mouth

imogen 👑

🤢🤢

tammy 🌴

alfie is getting under y/n’s skin big time 🤪

imogen 👑

he’s a fucking prick

y/n 🪩

he’s not being mean or anything, just smart mouth

courtney 🎀

he saved her from a lizard today 🦎

jess 🌼

he was hanging around u today like a flyyy

imogen 👑

no

no no no no no

casey 🍒

y/n do it for the plot

imogen 👑

hahahaahahahahha

i’d piss myself

fuck it go for it

y/n 🪩

you are all deeping it, don’t make me cringe

imogen 👑

they better be

you’re not stupid enough to get with that wasteman

imogen 👑

was jay talking about your brother

y/n 🪩

yeah

beth 🛍️

nah jay’s some breed

i caught him staring at his own reflection in his sunglasses for like 6 mins

tammy 🌴

why were you watching him that long?? 🤔

imogen 👑

hahahaha beth stop being a slaaggggg

imogen 👑

fuck i’m so glad i’m not there

send me everything

i want hourly updates

casey 🍒

is it hot

tammy 🌴

yeah sooo warm case

jess 🌼

yeah i am so burnt lol

hopefully can cover it a bit w my dress tn

casey 🍒

where u all headed!!!

courtney 🎀

just goin to get a quick bite and head to strip, will send pics of fits!!

tammy 🌴

im wearing your skirt you lent me

faye 🦋

im gonna wear that blue playsuit

casey 🍒

gorg

imogen 👑

are you going out with them?

imogen 👑

i want updates

i want chaos

i want photographic EVIDENCE

y/n 🪩

we willlll

imogen 👑

stay away from him, y/n

i’m warning you

i’ll vom

tell him to act like it’s english lit and go mute

beth 🛍️

he’s a pure chatterbox

imogen 👑

fuck off

did all those deadlifts grow his voice?

courtney 🎀

casey do you think you could meet us one night

casey 🍒

text me your itinerary i’ll have a look lol

imogen 👑

don’t i’ll get fomo

the only one not there

ya snakes

y/n 🪩

how was the wedding

imogen 👑

stunnnningggg

so so gorg

loved my dress it was beaut

and my makeup

and my hair, it was all perfect

renting a boat tomorrow cant WAIT 🤩

better not get my hair wet ffs

my dad may not act a twat

yeah soooo fun

all inclusive too so u know what i’m like 🤪🥂🥂

y/n 🪩

amazing

you got showered next, showering off all the sweat and suncream from today before slipping on a loose t-shirt to get ready in.

wardrobe doors were left open, shoes were scattered everywhere, wet bikinis were hanging up over the balcony and there was already foundation stains on towels as the group of you began your beautification process. beth and faye took the mirror in the bathroom, jess sat on her bed while you, tam, courtney squashed around the table on the balcony, your mirrors propped up on bottles and the speaker playing music from the floor.

“do i wear the green or white?”

“hmmm . . white. if you hook-up with someone it’ll look nicer during your walk of shame in the hotel hallway.”

tammy lifted the white top.

“if we run into them . . i swear to god,” jess muttered whilst applying her mascara. you had just put two clips in your hair to keep out of your face to start your routine.

“imogen would hate it here.”

you shrugged, rubbing in your primer.

you talked the most random shit, all perfecting your makeup and doing your hair so not a strand was out of place: it was the first night, you always went all out on the first night.

you were fixing your eyelashes in the mirror, most of the girls taking their pictures and spraying perfume in the mirror.

“remember my perfume rolled off the balcony last time? brand new? just bought from the airport. £60 straight down the fucking drain.”

you did laugh at that, remembering it clearly.

“oh my god, y/n remember you broke your arm!” tam hit the very arm.

courtney shrieked a laugh, banging the table, “funniest night ever.”

“wasn’t really funny, i’d to sell my car for that bastard hospital bill,” you smudged your eyeshadow a bit with your finger.

“cause you didn’t buy holiday insurance!” beth exclaimed, particularly frustrated as she was the one who demanded you all do your insurance weeks in advance.

did you ever get round to doing it? no.

tammy and jess were really laughing, coming out onto the balcony, laughing over the video on a phone. you furrowed your brows, looking at the screen and could feel yourself slightly smiling at it.

it was your first day back at school, and you’d walked into your form room, arm in a sling, waving your bus card with pride after having to blow dust off it.

that was only 6 months ago, when you were allowed to book holidays again after lockdown. it felt like ages ago, so much change already from then until now.

you still had no car though.

“that’s my favourite memory ever.” jess laughed, sitting back down at the table.

“right, ok,” you tried to get them to pipe down.

“asking her mum if she would put money on it once carly was back in the showroom at corsa,” beth cackled, name dropping your old car.

“oh my god, guys, shut the fuck up,” you murmured, tilting your head to the pool where the boys were hanging around. sat at a table directly underneath your balcony, you couldn’t see them but you could hear them — so they could definitely hear you. the girls laughed harder.

it was quiet beneath, which made you think maybe they’d gone back inside to head out.

. . . below, all five of them sat in silence, dressed up for the night in fresh t-shirts and new shoes, empty tins scattered the table, an ashtray in the centre. they were listening in on everything.

it was hard not to when the girls squawked like seagulls.

there was hushed whispers, mumbling words, and a sharp ‘shut up, they can hear!’ followed by silence.

dylan perked an eyebrow, and joel smirked, desperate to break the silence.

“s’that why you take the bus to school, y/n?”

it was still quiet, a faint thump maybe heard, a foundation bottle probably knocked over.

it was your elbows hitting the table, your fingers curling in your hair with frustration, “right, let’s go. get me out of here so i can get a drink.”

ᯓ ✈︎

within 20 minutes of being in the first club, your ears were ringing from the base of the music, sound waves physically thumping through your body. the space was filled with young people, all dressed in minimum clothing, bodies sweating, makeup melting off and hair already going frizzy with the humid hair.

not yours though. never yours.

you were on your second drink, jess on her first because she’d spilled the first two she bought. “how the fuck have you managed that?” you stood with your hand on your hip, watching the third cup on the floor.

“fuck off. i’m going to a different bar. these tables are wonky.”

“you’re wonky!”

“your eyebrows are wonky.”

you squinted at her, watching her walk away.

like the good friends you were, you of course all followed, walking into a different club, or rather pulled inside by some promo guy who gave you a round of free shots after tamsin got busy flirting with him. “you’re welcome,” she cheersed.

the songs were so loud, the neon lights blinding as they flickered nonstop. not sloppy, just floaty. you’re laughing easier now, swaying without realising. you dance with the girls but couldn’t help but keep watch over your shoulder, scanning the crowd. for a second, you swear you spot one of the boys, but you turned back around, not exactly wishing it was them.

heels clacking on cobbles, straps falling down, someone’s already carrying their heels. you get stuck behind a stag do dressed as smurfs, and beth insists on getting a photo with them. “for fuck sake! just pick a bar and go into it! i’ve blue paint all over my dress now!”

“alright! this one’s meant to be better!”

you get there and immediately get two drinks to save having to wait in the queue again, listening to duke dumont. three of you hang about the smoking area while the other three are inside, on the hunt for free shots from flirty boys while you feel like you’re on set of a photo shoot with the amount of flashes going off like paparazzi. most of them are horrific - never allowed to see the light of day, but one? surprisingly flattering.

faye grinned at your phone, “this one’s going on your wedding slideshow.”

your jaw dropped, hoping she was being sarcastic, “yeah! right next to me doing a line off a toilet seat!” you smacked her arm.

when you’re in the toilets again, some girl you’ve never met is crying by the sink, mascara down her cheeks, and suddenly she’s part of the group. she was stunning, and you hated how a baddie was crying over some twat named liam—lewis? louis? luke? you’re brushing her bright blonde hair with your pocket brush while jess does her some new lipliner. faye’s giving her the pep-talk. “guys are so easy, literally just find a better one. get with anyone you want tonight?!” the girl was nodding through her tears, and by the time you leave, she promises she’ll do you all proud by getting with some hottie tonight.

the walk to the next one is longer. the air’s cooler, your ears get a break from some house music, and you catch yourself drifting to the back of the group, just listening. you end up in a quieter place near the beach for a last drink (which everyone knows is a lie). courtney leans halfway across the bar, batting her lashes until some spanish bartender is pouring a free shot for all of you. she winks at your group.

beth climbs onto a table, arms out, head back, like the perfect girl for the music video to the song playing . . and then security’s suddenly approaching her, the moment flipping from a funny one to an oh shit moment.

half of you are trying to sweet-talk the bouncer while the rest are trying to drag beth down before somebody’s in cuffs, a little too much for just the first night.

you don’t know if the place quieted down as it entered early hours of the morning - or maybe it was because you’d just gone deaf to the music after hours of it pounding in your skull. shop shutters were starting to come down and cups littered the streets. your lip gloss has strands of hair stuck to your mouth, and your skirt keeps riding up with every step, you’re wrist sore from tugging it down every two seconds. courtney’s hand is in her handbag, her fingers fishing for the spare apartment key.

you walked between tam and courtney, wedges dangling from one finger, the other hand gripping the slice of pizza some guy from manchester had bought for you.

"mate," you groaned, wobbling along the cobble, "i think my feet are actually bleeding."

court kept a hand on your back, giving a gentle rub like that'll fix anything. "we’re nearly there, girl. think about the shower. think about the air con."

tammy bit inter her crust with a girly giggle, "—think about how faye’s currently in a randomer’s uber, telling them she's an influencer."

you all laugh, breathless and a little giddy, shoulders bumping as you walk. jess and beth had been whisked away in an uber after jess argued with the driver for trying to charge her extra, and faye threw herself into a taxi full of lads all in football shirts. your group had been splintered by the night, but that was normal.

you took another bite of the pizza slice, food never tasting so good at two in the morning.

the three pass a bin outside a kebab shop and tamsin casually drops a scrunched-up napkin inside. you follow, disposing off the tiny, zip-lock plastic bag from your purse without a second thought. you moan at the food in your mouth, dipping it into the bbq sauce container. “so good!”

“easy girl! the boys might be up! they’ll hear you and go into heat,” court’s giggles made you laugh loudly, her body bumping into yours.

the comment had you whipping out your phone and flicking it onto selfie mode, angling it to overanalyse your appearance the best you could in your hazy state. home was only a street away, the glow of the complex sign just visible past the last row of bars.

you smoothed out your hair, pressed your lips together to see if it was smudged and blinked slowly at your reflection as if it would morph yourself into looking normal.

you looked as normal as you could for a girl who’d been out the last seven hours, able to go for another seven.

with flushed cheeks and black eyes, you pulled out your spooly to brush your eyelashes and eyebrows into shape, pulling your dress nearly down after combing your hair, just doing the usual post-night out tidy up.

you saw smoke before you saw them, three of them hanging about on the steps, two sitting down, one leaning on the apartment glass window, typing something with a cigarette between his lips. joel was mid-story, but alfie’s head turned first.

you flicked your eyes away quickly, dropping your head in an attempt to get ready and slip past as fast as possible.

“oh look. here come the walking and wounded,” joel called out, smirking at the sight, “how was the warzone out there?”

“well, we survived,” tammy answered, letting her handbag fall from her shoulder as you all slowly trotted over to the entrance. yeah, you weren’t slipping by anywhere.

alfie clocked you straight away.

“saw faye get dropped off, she and some lad swapped tops on the uber. little retro chelsea number for her blue tank top,” you girls burst out laughing at that, excited to go in and see her. “i’d be fuming if i gave that away. it’s a beauty.”

“i’ll nick it off her for you tomorrow.”

“i’d literally pay ya.”

tammy laughed. “why are you guys back so early? where’s the rest of them?”

“carter started chundering before it was 12. jay’s . . somewhere he shouldn’t be.”

“—he’s riding some scouse girl two blocks away.”

“oh stunnnning,” you replied, clearly dying to know that information.

alfie silently smirked at your tone, his eyes flicking up at you as you slowly passsed between them. tam and court were too busy having a smoke with them now.

“what about you? any casualties?”

you thought he was talking to one of the other two, but when you looked back, he was watching you over his shoulder, a sly grin on him.

the smallest tug pulled on your lips. “just a couple missing lashes. a mr dickinson lookalike bought me a drink.”

“hm. solid night then,” he nodded, blowing smoke out the side of his lips. you smiled with a small shrug, and turned around, swaying slightly on your way to the revolving door. alfie watched you ‘til you were out of eyesight.

the girls yapped on about stupid stuff, but alfie was in his own head, blanking them out, thinking about you and your shy shuffling past in that short shimmery skirt that was slipping high enough to show the strength in your thighs.

what the fuck? he pulled a face at his own thoughts, took one last drag, flicked the butt away, and shoved through the revolving door, heading straight to his empty room before his hangover started to kick in.

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yourusername day 1 and the heels are off ✨🍸

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bestietammy_xx bde !! (best day ever) 🤩🪩

imogenbestie_xx stunning stunning girl 🤍🤍🤍

jay__ get the bus card out

• in your eyes, he was your classic uk teenage boy in school: rowdy, annoying, rude and obnoxious, objectifies girls, has hyper-masculine energy, lads banter, embarrasses others for a laugh, where being nice is mockable and an overall superior attitude when running with the mandem

• you would never go for the type of him

• you and your friends hear all about the stories from girls in your year about their psycho boyfriends at this age 🚩 and you see no different in him

• buttt you both have each other so misjudged, it’s infuriating

• alfie thinks your quiet in a silent, stuck-up, judging way who doesn’t bother to engage with people you think are less then you. mean girl energy. thinks you’re better than everyone. plays nice and sucks up to teachers.

• you don’t hate each other but you’re always in a debate with each other

• 99% of the time, alfie does it for the sake of arguing with you to get under your skin

• if you said the sky was blue, he would argue it was green just to rile you up x

• you know he does it to annoy you and yet, you let it !

• when you both get into a debate during class about stereotypes, alfie’s allegations about you makes you realise how wrong he is and how wrong you could be about him (you doubt it though, you’re never wrong 💅 )

• again, you don’t hate him but he annoys you great amounts

• you have a weird tension when it’s just the two of you in certain classes because you don’t really know where you stand and if he really hates you/you hate him

• at the same time, neither of you care that much because once you leave school you don’t have to deal with him

• although alfie secretly wants to prove himself to you, he wishes he could just get you on your own to show you what he’s actually like

• you’re next level petty though and refuse to even give him a chance. you stand by what you say and he can’t change your mind no matter how nice he acts

• again. unbothered. tell you who’s not living in your head rent free

• however! summer time rolls around and guess who secured the same easyjet holiday package deal as you and your friends!!! ☀️

• long story short, your friendgroup kinda link with his friendgroup and your stuck to deal with him but it’s whatever. again, you don’t hate him, you can stand his company in small doses. is it ideal? not really. but life goes on and you’re not gonna let it ruin your holiday!

• alfie really trying his best to warm you up to him, tries to make conversation when your groups meet up (i mean, when you’re going to all the same places, you may as well link up and share transports and group discounts to save some £££)

• naturally falling into the dynamic that you two are always left to pair up together within the group, and alas, the more time spent together, the more you (shock!) realise he’s actually not the person you thought he was and is in fact - the funniest fucker you’ve came across

• like, belly laughs nonstop when you’re done forcing yourself to reject the enjoyment from his company

• kind of shook by how big the guy is, but you brain is wired to ignore how attractive he is in general - just feeds his ego if he knew

• last night of holiday, in your own little faded mind of drinking your bodyweight and other things, you give in to all temptation and drop your guard . . . and bikini bottoms

• best ride of your lifeee, between the combination of the messy state your in, the holiday vibe, the built-up tension, the undertones of doting and a lil free fallin’. . . chefs kiss. unbelievable high.

• and then you want to die when you land home because wtf you just slept with alfie buttle and have to face him in school for one more year after practically hating his guts the last couple years this is so embarrassing for your auraaaa 😔

• radio silence from each other + summer goes by + a lot of why did i do that + why did i think i was finished school a year early now i have these consequences to deal with

• back at school, you’re tweaking on the daily, waiting for him to tell everyone what happened when really he’s so chill and normal about it like he’s confused why you won’t even look at him

• like your teachers notice your weird behaviour when your in a class together they even ask

• buutttt somewhere in the mix of secret glances, knowing looks, dodged conversations, secrets kept from friends and defensive arguments during sociology - the end of the school year ends with AB on your arm - and yes! willingly!

• he once again proves your assumptions wrong by asking you out ‘cause he can’t do the one-night ting and not catch mad feels — with you at least

• and suddenly your in your lover girl era, absolutely head over heels for this boy it terrifies you

• it’s so freeing not having to hold back all those feelings you had buried below and my god - did you undermine them big time

• always been an independent girl + don’t feel the need to have a boyfriend + doesn’t really appeal to you + you only need your girlfriends + guys your age don’t appeal to you in any shape or form anyway + will never be caught lacking over a boy + will never completely hand over your heart to one either + quite high walls in general + would bash girls for being obsessed their boyfriends and choose them over their friends

• alfie fucked that for you

• you still refuse to let anyone know just how crazy in love with him you are

• but it’s so easy to love him, he’s literally perfect for you, he’s your other half

• you don’t trust anyone else the way you trust alf - you tell him everything

• not a day passes where he doesn’t make you laugh

• both very similar to each other, you just tone it down better in certain situations

• alfie is full lover boy behind closed doors, like ultimate soft boyfriend

• it would shock his friends and viewers how cute and caring he is to his girl when it’s just them and their lil domestic life

• plays it down by 1000 when on the pod/vids with the boys

• but also has a line he doesn’t cross ‘cause he knows you’ll call him off for being a show-off just for some clout for the lads

• absolutely winds you up something shocking on a daily basis, not a day goes by without you shouting at him

• takes boyfriend-being-your-stupid-son to a whole new level

• loves to embarrass you

• if people saw you interact at times, they’d think you didn’t even like him

• always shaking your head, rolling your eyes, shooting him a look when he’s acting a moron

• really, you love him so much it makes you sick ❤️‍🩹 he’s just ott at times x

• you’re a different girl when it’s just the two of you, like, it’s crazy

• being w him through his warehouse era + would pick you up straight after his shift still in his uniform

• never been a materialistic gf - just want his company

• staying over in the grotto when you’re not busy with work/uni !

• both nature lovers, love going out walking where he lives

• joining him on random outings when trying to film something for the vlog

• + walking his mums dogs

• i feel like you attempt to gym it with him but it ends up with you moaning 90% of the time and wanting to leave, having to watch him finish getting a pumppp

• can always count on him to eat filthy with you tho: maccies, nando’s, tesco trip for ben and jerry’s - he’s got no diet to follow, he’s getting food and eating yours as well

• since moving out, you definitely encourage him to have proper meals for when you come over so you’ll always make dinner n talk him through how to do it

• you’re no chef either, but come on, lasagne and fajitas aren’t that hard to make - will include in the vlog you teaching him easy meals he can make himself

• nights usually end w/ a movie and a munch in bed 🧁🍫🍿🍩🍪

• netflix n chillll

• alfie’d be a hotbox at night tho, so freakin hot but he’d always be snuggled right into you no matter what

• big dog thinking their a lap dog energy

• feel like he annoyingly always has to be touching you when sleeping

• his passenger princess 👑

• sharing the same music taste

• loves to spoil now with this new paycheque 💰

• brings you back little souvenirs on his trips

• can be a easily talked into giving a massage / rubbing your feet when chilling on couch

• quite a protective, possessive bf - not in a toxic way but people will know you’re with him

• highkey a silent rager - looks chill but is boiling on the inside if someone pisses him off

• will knock someone out if they’re disrespecting his mrs without a second thought - much to her dismay - she would freakkk if alfie started pounding someone’s face in eeekk

• don’t even get me started on drunk alfie

• having to drag said boy from taxi into bed takes an hour at least, hardest thing in the world, you have to leave him on the floor most of the time

• gives off cus he’d never leave you on the floor

• argues he has the strength to pluck you up like a toothpick while your convinced using a bulldozer would be easier

• seriously, he benches you in the house when bored

• if you do leave him on the floor, you will sleep on the sofa next to him to make sure he doesn’t throw up during the night x

• no drug jokes/mentions allowed

• make his grotto a home even if you’re not properly moved in yet

• helping him decorate the place with small touches - candles, plant pots, new cushions

• framed photos of you both over the years

• watching him game

• chillin in the background, reading your books when he streams

• leaving your stuff around the gaff (he def complains for the vlog)

• baking to pass time when you’re both bored

• having multiple trips / city breaks together — amsterdam, london, paris, etc.

• family holidays! ☀️

• his mum getting a break whenever you’re around

• packing his case, sorting outfits, minding documents, watching him in the pool, putting suncream on his moles - your big baby x

• his mum’s mini bestie 👭

• helping her with fashion advice, doing her makeup for her when she’s going out, giving her some much needed girl time etc.

• definitely times when you both give off to him at the same time when visiting the grotto n he hates his whole life

• your family would be very approving, know he’s a bit wild but see very clearly he worships the ground you walk on - could give him a medal for putting up with you 🥇

• alfie’d would effortlessly blend into your family, it’s like he’s been there over 10 years

• he’d be so worried about having dinner together cus he’s so picky but your mum makes him separate dishes and he always loves them

• if you had brothers, they’d casually watch his vlogs, no matter what age they are - he’s so entertaining

• soft-launching you into the vlogs when picking you up from somewhere/dropping you off places

• constantly acknowledges he’s in a relationship online but still keeps details private (sometimes he slips up and spills too much)

• you’re not fully sold on being an online presence but you don’t mind making an appearance every now and then til you grow used to it

• making mini vlogs on his camera when he leaves it at your place but not expecting him to post a snippet

• featuring on your tiktok when doing relationship trends

• you’re not high maintenance 24/7 but when you expect something from him- he does it

• guys lowkey head over heels

• does what you ask 99% of the time (complaining, of course)

• like you could convince him to blowdry your hair after a shower if you pushed hard enough

• very playful relationship, can take the piss out of each other quite a lot

• you wind him up by saying he’s going to leave you one day for some gorgeous influencer girl cus you know you can be a bit cray cray at times

• biiiit of an attitude problem on ya

• also suffering horrific case of petty jealousy

• but it’s fine, alfie knows how to handle you

• like you don’t doubt for 1 second ab would never ever cheat on you but my days, watching him film videos abroad hanging around him, breathing the same air as a girl makes your eye twitch

• you’re not even mad, it’s just like get off of him

• sometimes you like to keep him on his toes and have that lil petty argument over the phone but it’s really just ‘cause you miss him and you want to be there enjoying his jokes and company the way they get to

• does he find it annoying? yeahhh, but he kinda likes to see you get all possessive on him even though you’d never admit it

• like yeah lose your mind a lil 😏 let me see you all firey girl

• like you’ll act like you want someone to take him off your hands but really you’re losing your mind if a girl looks at him too long 🙂

• although you’re laidback 99% of the time, that 1% is scary when you’re not xx

• god forbid he gets jealous though, it’s rare but when he does, you get nervous at the thought of having to drag him away from someone

• he’s not threatened by other guys, he just doesn’t want the other guys looking too long is all 🤷‍♂️ n all he has to do is throw one of his muscly arms around you and he’s fiiine

• he can’t complain when you get jealous over stupid stuff ‘cause he gets jealous over stupid stuff, he’s just more lowkey about it

• he’s not major pda but when in certain situations, he might want to stake his claim a little more than others - he’s not afraid to kiss you in public at an event/party but he’s not gonna go swinging your hands walking around the fellas studios

• loves to have you come along on day trips to london - will film whatever he’s filming then it’s exploring the city for you two - shopping at harrods, nando’s date, going to markets etc. before getting train home (sometimes books a cheeky hotel overnight)

• you have him warned not to say anything online that he wouldn’t want his mum/your mum/your family to see

• like the amount of stuff he cuts because he knows you’ll go mad if he posts it

• the fam doesn’t need to know your business / see that side to youuu

• very vulgar boy though.

• very straight up when it comes to that - will straight up say what you’re probably thinking but would never word it how he does

• like when you’re taking him all in, gushing over his fresh trim and drooling over his huge arms in that muscle t, thinking about what you want to do to him, he’ll catch you staring and straight up ‘you gonna let me eat that pussy or’ and it’s always soooo casual

• like he’s joking but he’s also not

• always act like it doesn’t work you up

• my god though, the guys a munch

• HAS to be

• is a both guy 🍑🍒

• big hands that do damage 🍑👋🏼

• fake bangs from behind the second your slightly bent over for something

• you act like he’s disgusting when he does shit like that but you’re his own lil freak he knows you love it

• you’re as bad, pulling dirty actions when no-one’s looking

• wishes you would let the internet see you how he sees you but you’re to scared for your fam to see you that unfiltered ‘cause let’s be real like they don’t need to see thattt

• calls you girl (in a pet name way) which you’ll huff ‘what am i, a horse?’ but really you fall over him when he says it

• ‘easy there girl’

• ‘fucking hell girl’

• ‘cmere girl,’

• quite touchy, accidentally man handles a bit, doesn’t mean to pull and grab you so much x

• loves a cute little innocent cuddle when you haven’t seen each other

• loves his hair played with / head scratches

• regularly goes all soft on you

• won’t deny his simp behaviour to the boys if they bring it up 🤷‍♂️ like yeah god forbid a guy likes to be the little spoon w his back gettin tickled

• slowly introduces you to friends n pushes you to try and befriend their girls cus he knows you’ll get along

• love the thought of a pending friendship with tennese?! she could so convince you to go on the pod and have a nice yap about your boys

• although she’d probs try to talk you into having a baby which is a no-go for ab atm

• seriously, he gets freaked out when you pretend to be pregnant after eating something that makes you bloat, says don’t put that energy out into the world

• spoiling you a little more now with that new cheque

• not afraid to show you off to his new friends 💪 like yeah my mrs fit, i ain’t hide her

• i feel like gradually over time, you grow very used to him having a camera out and don’t mind being in majority of the video when doing everyday things - walks in the countryside, shopping trips, eatin n yapping in the back of his car, cooking meals together in the kitchen, couples holidays etc.

• maybe even join some of the yt girlies on their pods

• being so proud of your boyfriend and his journey into the youtube world, so wholesome xxx

• your lil influencer x

• fully prepared to fight any girls that are thirsting over him now

as someone who never wanted to waste a morning of a holiday too hungover to get out of bed and therefore miss the peak hours of the sunshine - you always made sure to set an alarm for at least 10am- and thank god you did, because nobody else bothered. the whole group was dead to the world, you included, face buried in your pillow, drool soaking into your pillow in a way you were pretty sure had never happened before. you’d half convinced yourself you’d slept straight through the day’s plans.

thankfully, you hadn’t, and you hadn’t so much as a headache either, thanks to the glass of water you’d chugged before bed, dropping one of your brother’s electrolytes in it beforehand.

the curtains were half pulled, bed sheets half on the floor, makeup-wipes scattered all over the room and glamorous outfits from last night now bunched into piled around the apartment; makeup, sweat or drink tarnishing them.

you had all piled into one room, tammy hanging out the window for some air, courtney, jess and faye in one bed and beth in yours; their hair all a nest and makeup half-wiped. you had just spent the last twenty minutes talking over and laughing about everything that occurred last night, recalling every character you’d encountered and small talk you had to get through.

“i swear i saw katie price in the bathroom.”

“i really fancied that lad from glasgow.”

“ok but did that guy look better with my tank on than me?”

you laughed some more, all piled on top of each other, scrolling through videos and photos to try and piece the timeline together.

you’d jumped in the shower before anyone else had woke up and slipped back into some pj’s, your hair combed, teeth brushed and skincare glowing proudly on your face. now, you just needed fed, and quick, before everyone felt the wrath of your hangriness.

you got up off the bed and clapped your hands. “right girls, hurry up and get up.”

you opened the curtains and slide door to the balcony, welcoming the sunshine through the room as some groans sounded in the room. tam made the move to get the first shower while the rest began to groggily roll out of bed and face the sunlight.

it was another glorious day, the heat wrapping itself around your as beth appeared with her toothbrush in her mouth. “what’s the plan of action?”

“the plan of action is get ready as fast as possible and clean up a bit while you’re at it - and then we get food,” you instructed, walking onto the balcony.

making their way back from breakfast, carrying another new bag of snacks and beer bottles, the boys laughed amongst themselves, engrossed in the random sidequest jay had participated in while carter explained the weird trip he experienced when they left him.

“nah, it was kicking in when i was ordering my drink at that bar. barman and woman’s eyes started to shine all rainbow colours.”

“tell you what - that barmaid was the best girl i seen all night.”

“says the lad who got a shag last night??”

jay shrugged. “would’ve preferred the barmaid.”

“i got that blondies number last night,” dylan poked his head through the group.

“yeah, she was nice.”

alfie walked with his hands in his pockets, a plastic bag hanging on his wrist. his silence didn’t go unnoticed.

“what about you alf,” a hand slammed on his shoulder, “any huzz?”

“didn’t see him even look in a female’s direction.”

“what’s new there?”

he ignored joel, but didn’t disagree. he shrugged.

“what? none doing it for you?” jay scruffed his hair, making an attempt to wind him up. he wasn’t falling for it.

“no.”

“oh we know who does it for you,” dylan wiggled his brows, jumping on his back. “the ice queen.”

“piss . . off,” he tried to throw them off, and he did with ease these days.

joel nudged him, “you’re always clocking her bro.”

“nah bro, she’s just loud. can’t miss her.”

up above, the girls sat. y/n stood, arms over the balcony, her ears picking up the laughter and teasing kicking off amongst the boy group headed towards them. she looked down, eyes following like a hawk. “quick girls, hide!”

the boys stopped outside the block, plastic bags of crisps and beer dangling from their hands, squinting up.

jay cupped his hands around his mouth. “ok, penthouse crew! you too good to mix with us groundfloor peasants?”

courtney leaned forward, “you said it! not me!”

they whooped at that, amused by the exchange.

carter adjusted the bag cutting into his fingers. “don’t act like you haven’t been spying. we heard you laughing earlier.”

“yeah, laughing at you,” jess grinned.

alfie tilted his head back, hand raised to shade his eyes from the glare. he looked at you, propped against the balcony rail, arms folded, watching him with a crooked little smile.

“mustn’t be able to hack the sun if you’re still on that balcony.”

“couldn’t hack the smell of you,” you shot back, leaning lazily over the rail. the boys barked at the comeback, carrying on toward the stairs, plastic bags knocking against their legs, your eyes following them as they carried on.

alfie lingered behind, glancing up at you watching down, joel snapping pictures on snapchat. “enjoying the view?”

“of what? your plastic bags?”

alfie dropped his onto the ground, grin curling as he flexed his free arm, “nah, this.”

the muscle bunched tight under tanned skin, veins pulling sharp lines along his forearm. for a second, it kinda made your chest jolt before you could stop it.

humoured by his confidence, you played it off with a tilt of your head. “bit tragic if that’s all you’ve got to offer.”

he watched and walked, his teeth on display with his giddy smirk up at you.

you slipped inside, sliding the door shut behind you, jaw parted in silent disbelief. “oh my god.”

“his arms are fucking huge!”

“fucking massive,” you agreed, your mouth unmeaningly hanging open as you almost slipped and fell on a bikini top in thought. “FUCK!”

“fuck me, i need to get ready,” tams threw herself down on bed with a bag of crisps.

“well then get your arse in that shower girl!” a smack landed on her bum.

ᯓ ✈︎

“okay, everyone! listen up please, ok? we all want you to have fun but we also want no accidents, ok? no stunts, no racing, no crazy tricks, yada yada yada. try to have fun but don’t be stupid,” the instructor rolled his eyes to the half of the line that was the boys. “don’t take your helmet off at any time. if you get stuck, we will find you if you, if your friend passes, ask for help, jump on their bike, we will locate the quad, do not stress,” he walked up and down the row of your groups. “i will lead the way. my friend felix here will be at the end to make sure nobody drives their bike into a ditch.”

the 11 of you all stood with your hands either in front of your or by your sides, helmets too big for your head and a bracelet with the key attached to your wrist.

the bus down wasn’t so bad, just around the hour mark which allowed you another power nap before your fun-filled day: canoeing, zip-lining and quad-biking.

canoeing was nice. very zen with the girls. the water crystal clear, although jess was freaking a shark was going to appear and swallow you all whole. zip-lining was terrifying, but when the adrenaline rush kicked in, you were willing to go twice while tamsin and courtney didn’t go at all.

the boys were all sharing glances as if communicating in secret with just their eyes as the instructor set his rules. you could guess what they were thinking anyway: get a load of this guy.

you knew jay was planning his race tactics and carter and dylan were nudging each other, getting the other riled up. alfie was the only one who seemed to actually listen to the instructions given - but you didn’t put it passed him that it meant he would follow them.

you got your own quad, while beth and courtney shared - beth too afraid to drive on her own. you understood where she was coming from - they were intimidating machines, heavy to move and control and despite their size - a little rock could do a lot of damage in blocking its path.

you were excited though, and when instructor called out the starting signal, all of you took off in a flash.

the trail was almost like a rainforest, with a dusty path and lots of trees - you wore your least favourite pair of shorts as you knew you’d be covered in dirt.

your friends, not so much.

with sunlight flickering through leaves, and dirt flying, the group exhaled with laughter, shouting, and silent competition between who could be the fastest (responsible) driver.

fairly quickly, you all split up, some disappearing through the trees and dipping into low ground, you laughed trying to keep up with the girls. beth and courtney zoomed past, squealing with laughter as dylan emerged with joel on his tail, screaming. “FUCK OFF!”

you couldn’t stop laughing, not when when tammy hit a bump and nearly fell off, when courtney nearly flung beth off with a sharp turn or when joel got dirt in his mouth mid-taunt when jay sped past him.

even with its harsh steering and the slippy road, you had good control of the vehicle. you didn’t take the lead but you weren’t at the end either. heading off track, you cut through the small gap in the trees, seeing track marks in the ground and came to a dusty, sandy path. you could still hear laughing and squeals when zooming ahead, feeling the change in texture beneath the wheels as sand and dirt mixed together almost like clay.

you passed by the ocean which had to be your favourite view, the water crystal clear and the sound of the waves made it tempting to jump in. it was stunning. you snapped a couple pics.

you stayed there for a while before driving up hill, weeds tangling too as you came to the top of a forest-like thing and took a quick moment to breathe.

it was so warm, and you were sweating with the helmet on. you let it hang around the back of your neck as you wiped the sweat from your head, appreciating the scenery.

it was just trees, but your were easily pleased with that kind of thing.

you could so picture imogen right now, squealing and yelling with all the bugs flying around, batting mosquitoes, demanding you both turn back. the thought made you laugh under your breath.

revving the engine, you pressed down on the accelerator – only to stay exactly where you were.

huh?

you tried again, the quad making a high squeak but refusing to budge. you glanced at the wheels.

fuck.

not only was a massive rock trapped infront of the wheel, but there was vines and even leaves big enough to get tied up around it like hair knotted around an elastic band. you tried again, the mix of sand and mud not helping.

shit, forget the problem of getting stranded, it was sounding like you might need to pay a fine to get the whole thing fixed.

hopping off the bike and pulling as much as the greenery off, you went to try again, but were met with the sound of another engine humming up behind you, smooth and steady.

definitely not like yours.

“what you doing? waiting about ‘til you’re knee-deep in quicksand?”

the smirk on his face wasn’t condescending, but playful. sweet. with kind eyes.

alfie turned off his bike, his helmet not even on his head.

see? rulebreaker.

“it’s stuck under this . . . boulder,” your foot hit the pedal again, only shifting slightly beside the wheels rolled back. it sure as hell felt like you were in quicksand - or mud.

“want me to try?” he said, already off his quad.

he didn’t even give you a chance to jump off when he slipped on behind you, his ass planted away from yours but his chest pressed to your back. solid and warm. his arms came down on either side, hands swallowing the handlebars, swallowing yours when they landed over them.

you hadn’t realised how big they were until now, how small yours looked trapped beneath his - broad, rough.

you swallowed. gulped maybe?

you weren’t even attracted to hands like that.

although your eyes dawned on the size of them once more, not realising how . . well, how huge his hands were! you blinked at them, caught off-guard.

his knuckles tightened when he pulled it back, his head looking at the back wheel, “hold on,” he said low and close, in full concentration.

the engine growled, and he shoved his weight forward into yours making you both and the whole quad jolt and begin to climb something.

you shrieked, falling back into him before you could stop yourself. “ALFIE!”

your shoulder knocked his chest, not that it seemed to affect him, and the bike jolted forward, almost rocking right onto the front. you pushed yourself back for brace into alfie with another scared squeal as it dipped forward, waiting for your body to fall off it.

you slowly opened both eyes.

“think that’s it,” he looked behind him to see the rock left behind the bike.

you saw it too. phew.

“if you’d kept your speed, you would have flew over that, easy,” he turned back to you, then, tapping the fuel gauge with one finger, he added, “also—this is running on fumes, y/n. the battery’s very low.”

“what?” you squinted at blinking red light. “how?!”

“guys done that on purpose so he has to come rescue you,” alfie joked, but he didn’t put it past the guy - not when everyone else’s was a full tank.

“do you think i can still drive it?”

he shrugged, “you can have mine if you want.”

you looked at the palm of your hands, skin raw and starting to blister. he looked at you and quickly to his bike, unable to hold eye-contact with you for too long. you’d noticed that about him – like he wanted to, but the second you caught him, colour climbed his neck and cheeks.

your gaze intimidated him.

he scratched the side of his head, looking off to the side, “what’d you want to do? i can take you back.”

that sounded the best option, “yeah, let’s do that. i don’t want to drive anymore. my hands are wrecked,” you looked at the peeled skin again.

“alright,” he hopped off, back onto his own, “let me make sure i’m not stuck either.”

he drove slowly towards your parked bike, mud spinning clean off his wheels - of course, splats flickering onto your leg almost instinctively. you jumped, the coldness surprising you.

imogen would have had a fit, and alfie half-expected you to as well. “shit, i actually didn’t mean that!”

“you definitely did,” you raised a playful brow, using his shoulder for balance as you crossed onto his bike, “now i look like shrek.”

“shrek don’t have legs like them,” his eyes flicked down, quick but not quick enough for you to miss.

you paused for a beat, unsure if he meant to say that – or what exactly he meant by it - because it surely couldn’t be a compliment.

“ready?”

you searched for something to hold onto, helmet strapped tight. he jolted the bike forward just an inch and your arms flew instinctively around his torso, squeezing hard. “EEK!”

you could hear him laughing, and you held on tighter, not caring if you pressed your bodies as close as possible, your cheek flat to his back.

you could hear him laugh every time you went over a massive bump, mainly because he could feel in the moment you tightened your grip around him and whimpered with dread.

the track narrowed, covered with low branches that forced him to slow down. you could feel his shoulders flex each time he changed gears, muscles moving under your palms, and you hated that you noticed.

“you alright?” he called over his shoulder.

“yeah!” you shouted back, though your cheek was still pressed against his back so it was hard to hear.

the track opened wider and the entrance where you came through came into view, you could already see two of the boys lingering around their bike, fist-bumping the instructor alongside heightened voices up front. alfie slowed down to an easy crawl, your arms still locked around his middle.

fuck, the girls were going to rinse you. you couldn’t even think of imogen finding out.

that was when it hit you - what this was going to look like: you, clinging onto alfie, riding on the back of his quad like you were living in some soppy romcom.

you sighed a little heavier than you meant to.

“what?” alfie called back over his shoulder.

“nothing. just . . girls are gonna have a field day ‘bout this,” you muttered, straightening up.

“who gives a fuck?”

“i do,” it slipped out sharp.

he didn’t reply, but you felt the way his body tensed under your hold. like his guard physically built itself up again, like he’d forgot who he was dealing with here.

like he’d just been reminded of your bitchy roots, and probably, wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

it wasn’t that you couldn’t take the jokes, the digs, the teasing - it was that once it got to imogen, everything was bigger than it had to be. she’d drag it out, drag you out, make it a whole drama. she’d look at you like you were a traitor for being in a situation like this.

you just knew a storm was coming once the girls let it slip.

you didn’t say anything though. you didn’t want to get into it, not with him. he didn’t like imogen as it was, and you didn’t want to paint her as a bad person when she wasn’t.

the silence was louder than the roar of the quad, and you wanted to tell him it wasn’t what you meant - and you would, when you got off for this engine was taking the piss with how loud it needed to be.

but a minute was too long - you didn’t want to be a dick to him when he hadn’t been once to you.

“sorry. i’m not . . i didn’t mean it like that. i just mean like . . the girls can’t find shit like this funny for longer then 10 minutes before it turns to a drama with a lecture by the end of it.”

“it’s fine.”

seriously, it was fine. alfie did not give a fuck about imogen and her thought process. he didn’t need to know a thing.

he knew the imogen dynamic anyway, but he also knew you loved her too blindly to appreciate him pointing it out.

“no seriously alfie,” you hands found his shoulders, not for balance though this time, but squeezing lightly to emphasise your sincerity. he felt so big.

“it’s fine, y/n. doesn’t bother me.”

“it sounds like it does.”

“it really doesn’t.”

“no but i—”

you didn’t know what to say.

you sighed again, “i don’t want you to take it the wrong way. i’m not embarrassed to be seen with you. i’m just embarrassed . . of the way my friends are going to get on about it. they can never be . . normal,” can have a laugh about these things.

at least when it was you. faye could jump in a car with random guys but god forbid you rode on the back of a bike with a guy you actually knew.

he felt your hold tighten, and alfie’s eyes softened, hearing the honesty in your voice.

after a few seconds, he replied, “it’s cool,” he said, shrugging again, but this time with a little warmth in his tone.

you let out a small breath you didn’t realise you were holding. it felt good – proof he’d believed you and didn’t think you were just saying it for the sake of it. pressing just a little closer, you tightened your arms under his again, “sorry.”

he flinched, arms shooting into his sides. “FUCK! don’t, i’m ticklish!”

“sorry!”

“stop apologising girl!”

“sorry.”

there was a pause and he just laughed in response, and you joined him, laughing into his back at the amount of apologies flying from your lips. you both didn’t even need to acknowledge it.

the quad rolled to a stop and you loosened your grip slowly and swung one leg off when you reached the line of parked vehicles. the ground wobbled under you. smirking faintly, alfie kept a hand out incase you needed it. “don’t fall now . . wouldn’t want me carrying you too.”

“shut up,” you muttered, setting your feet on the ground. alfie joined you, standing opposite your frame and unclipped his hat, immediately reaching for yours afterward.

you glanced up at him, still as a board, catching the faint furrow of his brows and the concentrated tilt of his jaw. you felt the way your chest spiked though you didn’t know why.

get away from him right now.

“hold still,” he murmured, pulling it from your head.

his fingers squeezed it before you could think to, unbuckling it with rough but careful fingers, a hard click of the buckle snapping open was crisp and satisfying in your ears, and his touch was gentle enough to make your skin prickle.

your hair was a mess, damp from sweat , but he didn’t seem to care. he tucked yours under his arm automatically, ready to carry it for you without a thought.

you blinked at him, kind of thrown. “thanks,” you patted down your hair.

“s’alright.” he said, smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as you both headed back toward the group, each step charged with the quiet tension neither of you acknowledged.

you walked over to where they all waited, alfie letting you take the lead, one hand casually holding your helmet, the other brushing near yours –never touching– but you could almost feel the weight of it swinging next to you - enough to make your pulse skip.

what the actual fuck? did you fall off the quad and hit your head?

“y/n what the fuck happened?!”

“i got stuck!” you laughed, like, full on laughed now, realising how funny it was now you weren’t in the situation, “and then alfie got it unstuck and the fucking battery died!”

they laughed at the image of you getting stuck, hands clutching their stomachs as they shared their stories. you all sat whilst waiting for your pictures to get printed. no one seemed to say anything about you.

“i have never looked uglier.”

“no i looked a mess!”

“i looked fucking sick,” jay pulled his shades down. you stood next to alfie, both laughing at his friend.

walking toward the bus, you caught yourself in the tinted glass, smoothing your hair in a hopeless attempt to look half-decent. the girls pushed past you giggling as they climbed on, and joel skipped by, aiming his water bottle at you like a water gun.

alfie hung back, slowing his steps until he was level with your reflection. “pointless,” he drawled. “helmet hair can’t be fixed.”

you squinted, fake annoyed. “rude.”

“didn’t say it looked bad,” he added, voice casual.

you shot him a look, partly amused, part suspicious, like ‘what the hell are you playing at?’

he swung his water bottle lazily, eyes darting to the side and nudged it toward the bus steps for you to go up first.

the coach was massive, loads of space for everyone to spread out as there was no one else booked on, just another pair of two welsh girls. your girls had taken over the front rows—tammy already half asleep with her legs stretched across a seat, courtney on the phone to her mum with faye leaning against the window beside her. you’d tried sliding in behind them, but carter and jay were there, arguing over something on their phones loud enough to give you a headache before the journey had even started.

further back the boys were scattered about, legs everywhere like it was their living room, still loud even after all that driving. you hovered for a second, debating whether to sit alone a few rows back when alfie clocked your stalling.

“just sit,” he said, voice low enough not to draw attention, “unless you fancy standing the whole ride.” he pointed his bottle to the two seats just one gap from courtney and faye.

“what if i didn’t want to sit with you?”

“then you’d be sat on joel’s knee,” he argued, dropping down beside you, eyes flicking to yours with the faintest grin when you laughed, “or stand.”

the bus jolted as the driver closed the door, and you leaned back on the seat and grabbed the back of the one in front to steady yourself. alfie barely flinched, arms folded across his chest like he’d been through worse.

“you’re way too relaxed,” you observed.

“been on worse rides,” he said.

“dare i ask?”

“trauma sticks with you,” he looked out the window for dramatic effect.

you laughed.

silence passed as the driver tried to steer you all out of the place.

he was quiet for the first five minutes of the journey, which you wouldn’t have found unusual a few days ago because that’s how you knew him to be in school. now, it was weird not hearing his voice as often. “tired?”

he tilted his head lazily, pretending to think. “not really. sometimes don’t feel like fighting to get a word in when your lot is around.”

you blinked, half-defensive. “we’re not that bad.”

“no,” he said, a corner of his mouth tugging, “you’re not.”

you raised your brows but didn’t look at him.

he stretched his legs out a little, knee brushing yours by accident and asked casually, “so what’s first when we get back? pool? nap? debrief with the girls?”

“probably nap,” you said, fighting a yawn. “would like to eat though. also should ring my mum.”

“let mummsy know you’re not dead in a ditch.”

“exactly. jude can piss off to ibiza for a week and not text her at all but i need to contact her at least twice a day. she worries i’m okay in my little adventures.”

“s’not like she can stop you.”

“i know. she just likes to know,” you leaned comfortably into the seat.

“is jude on holiday?”

“he’s just back from zante.”

“i went to zante.”

“is it good?”

“yeah.”

“what’s over there?”

“you don’t wanna know.”

you both stared at each other and your mind wandered, his gaze triggering a laugh out of you because of how stupid he looked and how unexpected that reply was.

although you did hear things about the place from jude, and you really didn’t want to think of alfie experiencing them.

“jude actually would’ve loved this. definitely crash the quad and shove me into dirt, but he’d be laughing.”

“jude’s a bit of an unspoken legend.”

“ew, don’t say that alfie,” you put your head in your hands as if jude would hear him say and have his ego grow even more than it impossibly could. he laughed at that, ignoring how his stomach lept with butterflies at the way you said his name.

“he can be a total dickhead when he wants to be. our little brother’s gonna be just like him and it breaks my heart,” you could see alfie smiling as you spoke, intrigued to listen, “he’s so soft and sentimental like he was, but goes mental the same way he used to over his sidemen videos and fortnite.”

“didn’t know you had a younger brother.”

“yeah, he came about when we started secondary school. he’s such a good kid. for being a boy, he likes spending time with his big sister, although he’s at that age he does bug me with the screaming and shouting of his games.”

“does he love jude as his brother?”

“of course. he thinks he’s the coolest person ever but he’d never admit it. he calls him an arsehole and all when they fight. he knows he idolises him. flexes his name in conversation when he’s out in the street.”

“that was a bit like me and my older brother. it’s a brother thing.”

“yeah. i do love them both although i rarely say it. i hardly see jude these days, he’s never in the house.”

jude and you weren’t even a year apart in age and spent your whole childhood being brought up like twins. you had no other choice than to get along . . 80% of the time.

“he’s my best mate. we fight rough - fucking mental fights, proper dirty like if i was his brother, but then he’s the one i tell everything to. he’d kill anyone who hurt me but he also wants to kill me . . and i want to kill him?” you glanced at him, it making perfect sense in your head. “it’s different now we’re older, we clash loads and my poor mum’s just trying to deal with all the hormones,” you chuckled. “we don’t gel as much anymore but i know i can always go to him about anything - if he cares to listen . . . although he’s the type to probably punch me first for being so stupid and then punch the other person after.”

alfie laughed, “classic.”

“proper arsehole.”

“nah i get it. my brother is the same, especially ’cause it’s just the two of us. mad how you can love someone so much but they actually give you a rage no one else can trigger,” he ranted, feeling passionate about it. it made you almost chuckle, imagining alfie buttle crashing out, curtsy of his brother.

“yeah, me and jude ragebait him all the time. it’s the funniest.”

he shook his head, “it’s mad. i always remember him doing it when my mum was dropping us off to our dads and i’d always arrive in a huff ‘cause he’d be winding me up, pinching me ‘n shit on the way over.”

you laughed, but also picked up on the fact of his family dynamic. “are your mum and dad split up?”

“yeah.”

“yeah, you can tell. you look like a child of divorce.”

“fuck off!” his hand barely shoved your arm, laughing greatly at your comment; it made you laugh back. you were so glad he could take a joke. you couldn’t imagine if that went wrong.

“sorry.”

“do you ever wish you had sisters?” he leaned his head on the window while looking at you.

“yeah, but i have girl cousins who are like sisters, like we’re all around the same age so i for sure got a taste of it,” you didn’t share the stories of pulling each others hair over straighteners and being best friends right after. “and then i started teaching girls dancing two nights a week. i’m only allowed to teach 13 and under ‘til i’m older but i know they really love me.”

always getting you to do their hair before class, asking for life advice, showing you photos of their crushes, asking you if you had a boyfriend yet, giving off when you overworked them with you choreography - you loved it.

he chuckled, “big sister vibes . . i can see that, like they want to be you.”

“yeah. it’s nice. i look forward to it even though it’s a bit of a pain getting there, like when you’re in that cba mood, but they have a lovely picture painted of me and they always make me laugh.”

“do you get paid for it?”

“barely . . . it’s more so . . volunteering. i work in superdrug. i’ve worked everywhere to be fair. once i get into uni, i’ll hopefully get taken on an apprenticeship when it comes to doing placement. i already have my place picked out and my email drafted, so i don’t know what i’ll do if i don’t get it.”

“jeez. big dreams.”

“i mean i want a nice things when i’m older. money doesn’t fall into the palm of your hand, you have to work for it,” you said. “i want a nice house when i’m older, one with a walk-in wardrobe and kitchen island. i want to be able to afford a nice car, gorgeous clothes and travel as much as i can - i need a good-paying job,” you kept it lighthearted, hoping you didn’t come across as a spoiled bitch with expectations but really just some (hopefully) achievable dreams.

“nah i get it, it’s nice you’re driven like that. im just . . not,” he laughed at himself.

“where are you working?”

“i work in a warehouse.”

you raised your eyebrows.

“just . . sort bolts and screws into boxes of 100 on a daily basis,” he drummed his fingers on the chair in front. “place is full of NPCs. the same routines, same chat, same oddballs every day.”

“i had a job like that too.”

“yeah, usually just stick my earphones in. podcasts, music, whatever makes the hours feel less like a death sentence. it’s not the worst job but i don’t know how long i’m gonna be there, but also, not doing anything to get out it, y’know?”

“what would you like to do?”

alfie shrugged. “don’t know. i literally don’t know,” his fingers were near his mouth, eyes jumping sparsely, you felt like the topic was clearly something alfie didn’t like to get into, so you didn’t dive into it, because you knew how that felt.

“worry about it later. we’re still teenagers, you’re not supposed to have it figured out,” you squinted looking out the window, the sun still up bright. “just don’t stay in the warehouse ‘til you go crazy:”

“yeah. the warehouse can stay for a while. hours aren’t that bad and it’s not stressful. just boring. take about 50 smoke breaks.”

“you smoke?”

he looked out the window, leaning on an elbow “mm. . not cigs.”

you thought that last night - you were sure you didn’t see a cigarette in his hands but he was definitely puffing something.

you gave him a playful side-eye. “‘course.”

“don’t look at me like that,” he nudged you playfully back, “i’m not one of them brain-dead lads that wakes up and skins up before brushing their teeth. i’m not mashed all the time, it’s just . . a friday night, chilled, music on vibe. makes food taste class, you know? i don’t post snaps of my spliff like it’s my personality.”

“you so do.”

“shut up,” he looked out the window again, hiding his amusement being his hand. “i don’t even smoke at work. i just say i’m taking a smoke break and stand out there.”

“so you smoke in your house?”

he nodded.

“in front of your mum?!”

“nah like, in my room or go out in the car. park somewhere maybe. she’s not stupid though,” he looked at you again.

you knew guys you smoked weed up to three times a day, who truly didn’t function without it but were all so zombified. you could tell even when they were in school when teachers couldn’t, they just thought that was them as a person.

alfie didn’t give off that impression. you knew he was telling the truth. “if you could smoke it every day, would you?”

“fuck no. i wouldn’t be able to function,” he said, “s’a friday night type ordeal.”

you raised your head. “i know what you mean.”

“sure you do.”

“i don’t know how people smoke it everyday. when i came back from 3 days in amsterdam, i wasn’t normal for weeks - then again, i probably smoked enough to keep me high for a month.”

alfie was surprised to hear this news. “the dam?”

“yeah,” you admitted with a sheepish laugh.

he raised his brows, grinning faintly. “nah, that don’t sound like kmogen and co. i had you pegged for a paris city break, drinking wine and eating croissants, not . . . smoking yourselves sideways.”

“imogen didn’t like it to be fair,” you explained, “all the girls weren’t fussed on the smoking part but they did like the city. i don’t think imogen was inhaling properly although she acted like she was high.“

alfie laughed, the sound slipping out naturally. “that checks out.”

“courtney refused point blank and beth and casey would share one and get the munchies after one drag. they became so needy,” the bus bumped over a large ramp, your hair sticking slightly to the lip gloss on your lip. alfie watched, fascinated by your focus as you talked. “i wanted to try shrooms but no-one would do them with me, and then me and tammy went out one night and she had thee worst trip ever while i was sat there, having the time of my life staring at a lamppost for an hour while she was losing her mind.”

alfie’s eyes widened, half horrified, half amused. “holy fuck.” he wouldn’t know what he’d do if one of the boys was in that predicament.

she was a better person than he was ‘cause he sooooo would’ve ditched for his own sake.

“it was really stupid. especially being out at night, on our own,” you dropped your tone, “the girls took it so bad. i felt awful.”

alfie screwed his face up at that. “why?”

you raised a shoulder. “dunno. guess ‘cause she had a bad trip and i didn’t.”

“that’s not your fault though, she wanted to take them?”

“i know but it seemed cruel.”

“what? did you leave her or something?”

“obviously not, no! i got us both home but like . . i dunno. i still feel scummy about it. i swear i did look after her.”

“i believe you.”

“it just sounds sleazy like . . doing mushrooms in the streets of amsterdam, laughing while my mate was going through it,” the reminder did bring up that guilt again.

“i’ve done worse,” he told you, and your heart jumped.

for some reason, hearing him say that loosened the embarrassment in your chest, like he hadn’t judged you in the slightest. your eyes stayed on his longer than they should’ve, the sounds about the bus fading in the background.

“. . so have i,” you ended up telling him.

and your reply hung there between you, faces mirroring each other.

you should’ve looked away, but your gaze locked on his, your brain not knowing how to look away.

you could’ve sworn alfie had dark eyes. if you had to draw him, you’d colour his eyes brown. it just fit with the rest of him: dark hair, heavy brows, sharp features that looked carved a little too grown-up for his age now that he’d bulked up.

but up close, you realised his eyes weren’t brown at all. they were so evidently green, so clear it almost unsettled you. it was like it didn’t belong with the rest of his body, but made him stand out even more.

the softness was always there in them . . that part hadn’t changed. he’d had it since school, when his face was softer, smoother, before the sharpness came in. he was always a good kid, never argued with the teachers, did what he was told, more awkward than ballsy - and he still was like that.

it was a kind of softness that hadn’t really gone away since first year, when you barely paid attention to him. it was like looking at the same boy you used to sit next to in form period, all the way back in year 7.

except now, they were set into a face that had matured with age: now his jaw was cut, his shoulders broad, his mouth always in that laddish half-smirk but his eyes . . . they still gave him away.

and then you were almost sick when you realised your pulse was pelting out of your chest because it wasn’t just that his eyes were soft — it was that they were soft even when looking at you.

you jumped out of it:

WHAT THE FUCK?! EW Y/N?! you immediately looked straight ahead of you as if you weren’t just falling into his eyes, face slightly tinged with disgust. EW. what the fuck?! fuck him and his stupid eyes! and his even stupider lashes that no boy deserved to have! and fuck me for noticing! that was pathetic! what the fuck was that about?!

“you alright?”

“yeah,” you huffed.

you huffed without meaning to as you slid further into the seat, arms crossed.

alfie dropped down beside you, pausing mid-movement to glance at you.

“why’d you do that?”

“do what?” you muttered, eyes on the seat in front.

“that noise. like i’ve ruined your day by looking at you.”

“you didn’t ruin it,” you said quickly. too aggressively. “if anything you—never mind.”

his brows pulled together, “are you bipolar or something?”

your head snapped toward him. “what?!”

jude always said that to you. it was his go-to insult when you were fighting.

it always made the situation ten times worse. “are you for real?!”

alfie froze, eyes wide.

instant regret.

then you caught the ridiculousness of it — the heat in your face and the paleness of him, looking like he’d seen a ghost.

you couldn’t help it. the tension in your face broke and you almost faceplamed, wanting to laugh at your absolute looniness. “oh god. i do sound bipolar, don’t i?” talking to yourself.

alfie side-eyed you, cautious. “i didn’t say it again.”

you let out another laugh, softer this time. “no but i . . i probably do. sorry.”

his shoulders eased, brows dropping. “it’s ok . .” the concern left his face, “. . thought i was about to get my head bitten off.l

you would have, you mentally replied, “. . pity saved you.”

it fell quiet.

you felt bad.

you needed to ease the tension. “this is why i don’t have a boyfriend.”

alfie leaned his arm on the window, half-shrugging. “i’d still take you over imogen.”

silence.

fuck this was the worst.

“ . . have you ever had a boyfriend?” alfie broke the silence.

“no.”

glad that kept the convo going. “you?”

“no.”

well then.

you chewed your lip, flickering your eyes up and down at him.

you’d heard about him, of course – one or two girls’ names floating around school. alfie being a bit of a lad in situationships wasn’t exactly your vibe . . . it wasn’t your vibe for any guy. part of you hated that you were even thinking about it. the same guy who could be reckless and a little fuck-boyish was sitting right here, all calm and collected, seeming years ahead of his age.

and for a second, you let yourself imagine him in that role — alfie as one of them, phone lit up with messages from girls, smirking at their replies, chilling in their room, telling his friends all about the night he’d spent with them. the thought sent a sharpness through your stomach.

but then you glanced sideways and you saw the boy slouched next to you, head tipped back against the bus seat, hair damp with sweat and dust from the quads.

he didn’t look like someone who played people. didn’t sound like it either when he’d spoke about his mum or when he admitted to not having a clue what he wanted in life. there was no arrogance and cockiness there.

the two versions of him didn’t line up at all. it was jarring, trying to see him as the lad in a situationship against the alfie sat next to you right now.

maybe that’s why the feeling sat funny. it wasn’t him you were annoyed at, it was that idea of him - the version other people knew, and maybe you hated that being attached to him.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING? HE’S A LAD, THEY’RE ALL LIKE THAT?! HE’S NOT DIFFERENT. DON’T BE ONE OF THOSE GIRLS WHO START REWRITING HIM IN YOUR HEAD JUST ‘CAUSE HE HELPED YOU OUT TODAY YOU ABSOLUTE WANKER.

you sat up straighter with your arms crossed, starring straight ahead.

“you ok?” he asked, watching you again.

“yes alfie.”

definitely bipolar. he thought. definitely bipolar.

he could work with that though.

ᯓ ✈︎

you slipped out onto the balcony while the others were still fussing in front of the mirror, your dress already sticking a little at the back from the heat. you probably looked like you were sulking, but you really weren’t - or at least you were trying not to.

maybe it was the fact you’d given in and let courtney wear the playsuit you’d planned for tonight. she’d started huffing the second you mentioned it.

you’d just zipped yourself up on the balcony when courtney’s voice cut through the room the second you stepped back inside.

“are you serious? you said i could wear that when i wanted?!” she stood in the doorway, staring like you’d robbed her.

“yeah but i was going to wear it tonight?” you reminded her flatly, dropping arms at your sides. you’d laid it on the bed an hour ago, she knew you were wearing it?

she crossed her arms, already huffing. “yeah, but you promised me i could wear it when i wanted? that’s literally the one thing i wanted for tonight, y/n.”

you felt the sharp tug of irritation climb your chest. yeah, as long as i’m not wearing it? you wanted to say. you could argue. stand your ground. but the image of courtney sulking through the evening, snapping at everyone, turning the night sour before it even started — it wasn’t worth it. “seriously?”

“fine, forget it,” she slammed her bronzer brush down on the counter, storming back into the bathroom, hair pinned in curls as she pranced around in her bra and pj shorts.

“—fine, fine, fine!” you quickly assured, unzipping the back of it and stepping out of it, you now strutting around in your bra and knickers.

you pulled another outfit from the wardrobe — one you hadn’t thought about. one that didn’t feel like you.

adjusting straps, tugging the hem, you caught your reflection and hated how you looked but tried your best to salvage yourself. even when sitting on the balcony again, trying to get a nice picture of yourself, there was that hollow ache of not wearing what you’d actually wanted. it chipped at the confidence, made you feel like you were stepping out as a watered-down version of yourself.

whatever. it would have to do.

dressed while the others were still bickering over eyeliner, you let a breath and tried to let your shoulders relax. the air was warm, sun just dipping, and you tried to let it calm you.

down under, the boys were experiencing the same chaos of trying to find the best fit to wear tonight. jay had suggested a group dinner with the 11 of you before you all went out for the night (not together) but beforehand. why not? it’d be the first proper meal you’d all have eaten since arriving.

in the midst of putting together your insta dump, you heard a voice carried up in the evening air, softer than you’d ever heard it. you glanced down to him leaning against a wall, phone to his ear.

in a black shirt, light shorts and clean trainers, alfie looked sharper than you’d ever seen - and you saw him in a shirt, tie and blazer 5 days a week.

he wasn’t fancy, not showy, but just . . put together in a way that made you pause. he so wasn’t the lanky, half-bored boy from school anymore. his shoulders filled the shirt, his hair sat like he’d actually thought about it, and the way he stood; one ankle crossed over the other – there was nothing gawky about it.

you looked away quickly, not wanting him to see you staring.

“yeah, mum, it’s so good . . . yeah, yeah unreal . . is he? is chica?” he laughed softly, “yeah, was good . . no, no broken bones . . yeah, i’m all good for money. yeah just going out for dinner now . . i know, i know i will,” pause. you saw him smile down at his trainers. “alright, grand. i’ll see him on wednesday, will you pack my bag so i can just grab it and go over to his? no it’s ok i can drive . . . oh, well i’ll just drop you off on my way over? or i can pick it up for you? . . yeah ok. ok . . ok mum, i’ll let you go. speak to you tomorrow . . i know, i will, promise . . ok, ok bye love you. bye. ”

it felt weird listening in on his conversation - that was the side of boys they didn’t want you to see - talking to their mummy, reassuring them they were being safe and eating plenty.

“Y/N! YOU READY?! WE’RE ALL WAITING ON YOU GIRL!”

you straightened, pushing off from the plastic chair and took one last glance down to confirm he’d already disappeared inside. you pressed your lips together and followed the others out the door.

the restaurant wasn’t far, just 5 minutes away along the row of other shops and shutters, catching the last rays of sunlight as the sun began to set. the girls walked in a cluster, courtney leading the way, absolutely glowing in a leopard print playsuit she couldn’t stop adjusting and showing off. the guys were all in their shorts, holding cans and bottles of beer while the girls ‘hair flowed, sandals slapping the ground with their perfumes all mixing amongst each other.

you tried to keep up, but the thin strap of your heel slipped loose, almost sending you stumbling. you then hissed under your breath, trying to crouch without exposing your whole ass to the country when you felt your bag yank sharply against your hair.

URGH. this really wasn’t the fucking time of the night, not when you weren’t even out properly and having problems with your outfit. especially with the flowy strands of lace material on the skirt of your black playsuit, flowing down alongside by your legs.

you angled your head, the gold chain pulling more strands. “oh, for f—” you winced, trying to untangle yourself, “wait—”

it was no use, they didn’t hear you and you had to stop to fix yourself quickly before you lost them.

“hold still.”

you heard him before you saw him. alfie slowed, stopping just a couple centimetres from you. his eyes locked on the problem, brows furrowing in concentration.

you froze, mortified. first the shoe strap that had tripped you up and now this — you felt like you couldn’t take two steps without falling apart. and your friends had left you behind.

his fingers brushed your neck as he freed the tangled strap with one quick twist, your pulse quickening “nearly got it,” he murmured, concentration in his tone.

you could smell his aftershave, see the silver shingling around his wrist.

you looked down, the unhooked strap of your wedge pissing you off further when your hair became free, not a strand plucked out in the process. you sent a smile, biting back the embarrassment. “thanks.”

adjusting the strap on your shoulder, you began to crouch, the restriction of your skort on your ass making you shoot up.

it’s going to fucking rip.

alfie noticed, and took his hands out of his pockets again, crouching to the ground on a knee. “here.”

kill me now.

“ . . thanks alfie,” you said, refusing to look down at him in that position. your heart was racing as it was and you were already so embarrassed - and people looking walking past weren’t helping at all. “you’re a life saver.”

you were mortified. you never got embarrassed, but there was something about him being the one to catch you out and quietly fix everything when you’re always so sharp with everything you do - and while your friends walked on without you oblivious! - it made your skin grow hot.

“don’t mention it,” he stood up again, fixing his chain bracelet as he did. “now piss off, stop getting me to sort you out or i’ll be expecting your mum to thank me for looking after you,” he grinned.

you tried to brush it off with a laugh, keeping your head down, but inside, you felt rattled. “it’s the outfit, it’s not co-operating.”

“then why’d you buy it?” he squinted his features.

“i didn’t,” you shot back quickly, voice lighter than you felt. “courtney stole the one i wanted to wear tonight, the leopard playsuit.”

alfie slowed a little, eyes flicking over the fabric like he was checking it out all over again. “yeah. i noticed.”

you frowned, “noticed what?”

“i saw you in the other one earlier. before you swapped,” he shrugged, like it was nothing, “you let her have it.”

you blinked, caught off guard. the girls hadn’t even noticed. “well . . she liked it more,” you said, brushing at your bag strap, suddenly self-conscious.

alfie didn’t say anything, just pulled a face behind your back.

he heard courtney’s tantrum. you left the balcony door open all the time, and you were a loud, loud bunch.

it looked better on you.

he kept pace with you afterward, deliberately slower, even letting you lean against him when the pavement sloped down. he didn’t comment on it.

he glanced at you once over, longer than he meant to, his eyes captivated by the black, chic, lacy playsuit you’d thrown on for the night. short but not skimpy. the way the fabric clung your thighs and hinted at your shape – it was unfair. he didn’t let himself think of the word sexy, but his brain screamed it anyway.

it was a sexy outfit.

it was the fact you were clearly not fussed on it, not feeling confident in it that floored him. you just threw it on because you felt you had to - and somehow it looked better than any of theirs. you were the one people’s eyes landed on without trying.

maybe that’s why imogen always had that sourness about her. she dressed like she wanted to be the centre, like she needed to be the main one: talking the loudest, laughing the hardest, like she wanted to prove she was the one people were looking at.

but it never landed.

she clung to you as your best friend, shadow, competitor all in one — something you would never see.

alfie exhaled through his nose, forcing his eyes to the pavement.

now he was the one in a funny mood. why?

maybe ‘cause he knew if he could see it this easily, imogen definitely could.

by the time you got to the restaurant, menus sliding across the table, the chaos had died down. beth snapped a group photo, laughing at the fact you were actually out on a join dinner with the boys.

they hadn’t even saved you a seat amongst them, joel and carter slipping in firstly beforehand on either side.

you sat down beside carter who was beside tammy, alfie on your right, handing his menu back once ordering a corona. you ordered a sex on the beach, now blushing as the guys ooo’d and whooped at it - again - making you feel embarrassed like you’d never done before - what was going on with you? why was your confidence knocked?

you dropped your head to your hand, alfie chuckling heavily next you.

immediately, your phone began to ping.

beth sent a photo.

THE GALS™

beth 🛍️

one big family 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

imogen 👑

fuck off.

casey 🍒

OMG SO FUNNY

tammy 🌴

just ordered dinner 🍝

faye 🦋

quads were insane today

casey 🍒

courtney your outfit is stunninggggg 😍

courtney 🎀

thanks girl!!!! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 just threw it on

tammy 🌴

isn’t it gorgeous on her

imogen 👑

nah that’s beautiful

imogen 👑

y/n what are you doing

y/n 🪩

what

imogen 👑

why are u with alfie and not the girls ?

you’re hanging off him in that pic

beth 🛍️

omg no them on the bus back too, she was basically on his knee the whole ride x

y/n

no i fucking wasn’t beth????

imogen 👑

y/n no you didn’t

y/n 🪩

i didn’t !!!!!

faye 🦋

swear she can’t get enough of him 👅

y/n 🪩

i’m literally picking the wedgie out of my ass in it that’s why i’m leaned over

imogen 👑

you are being ridiculous

move now

y/n 🪩

i had nowhere else to sit imogen

you bitches didn’t save me a spot !

jess 🌼

you didn’t want to sit with us u slaggggg 😛

you set your phone down, not in the mood.

it buzzed 2 seconds later:

(1) message from imogen 👑

imogen 👑

explain.

y/n 🪩

??

imogen 👑

don’t ?? me. the way you’re sat w alfie in that pic. you look awful comfortable

y/n 🪩

what are you on about

we’re literally just sat next to each other

imogen 👑

then ask carter to move to sit with the girls???? don’t be stupid y/n.

the black playsuit, him in black, the way you’re leaning in — it looks like you’re on some couples holiday for fucks sake 🤣🤣

y/n 🪩

you’re seeing things

imogen 👑

everyone else sees it

you know what people are like

are you mortified

y/n 🪩

it’s not like that at all

imogen 👑

good bc i swear if you start giving him attention he’ll think he’s god’s gift and you’ll look pathetic

don’t let him make a mug of you

y/n 🪩

he won’t

i won’t

imogen 👑

good

you’re stunning and he’s disgusting

thinks he’s the shit since acting like myprotein sponsors him

🥱🥱🥱

move incase people think he’s your boyfriend

scaring the hoes off

you threw your phone down again and nudged your chair back just enough to get some space from alfie without making it obvious.

dinner was decent. you gave up trying to catch the girls’ huddled debates and settled on listening to the boys, who had drinks flowing faster than the food. they slouched in their seats, eyes drifting shut for a moment here and there, and when alfie turned toward you, you caught the faint scent of beer on his breath - not unpleasant, just that . . warm, masculine tang mixed with the sharp sweetness of his chewing gum.

you were fanning yourself with the laminated drinks menu, waiting for everyone to pay.

eventually, they all wandered into the town, music blasting from every club, lights flashing in every colour, bass rattling the streets like it had its own heartbeat.

y/n paused at the edge of the dance floor and then, like someone had flicked a switch in her, she moved.

and she moved like it was her only chance to escape the girls for a little, knowing they’d be too scared to join her on the dance floor - god forbid - too embarrassed to be seen making a fool of themselves.

she already felt on her own today, she may as well roll with it.

her skirt spun, her hair swished, hips following beats and her legs shuffling likw no one else could do. alfie at the bar, blinked. and again, mouth somewhat open. “i . . .” what did he even say? “why’s she’s actually scary good?!”

it was comedic to watch.

it wasn’t a floor anymore, it was her stage. she bounced her head in perfect sync with lyrics, moved her eyebrows so they did their own little dance - the faces she made mimicked the story in the songs perfect and pointed to other like they were the character it was about.

alfie felt like he was watching a tv show.

a line about love? she acted like she was starring in romeo & juliette. some random shouty line? she cupped her mouth like it was her voice coming from the speakers. it was like she was performing a show that no one could look away from - and in the coolest most casual way.

legs shuffling, arms thumping - every movement was ridiculous, magnetic, and hilarious all at once.

the boys could have fell over in disbelief. “i didn’t know humans could move like that.”

“her body is like jelly.”

“how does she know the words to every fucking song?”

she didn’t care who noticed, didn’t care who wasn’t noticing — and her friends, they tried to keep up, swaying with their drinks in hand, too busy protecting their image like and alfie thought - this is hilarious.

she’s untouchable.

absurd too.

and so addictive — and she doesn’t even know it.

shots were taken, gossip was shared and more laughter filled the room. y/n was alive in every corner; every song lyric turned into a joke, a move, a face. if not bouncing her head, sipping her straw like it was the coolest thing ever. alfie couldn’t stop looking at her, grinning at how absurdly good she was.

secretly a little giddy, secretly kind of envious of her confidence and ability to have such good rhythm. she took not giving a fuck to the next level.

lights spun, music pounded, the crowd swirled around her and she stayed untouchable.

the last thing he saw before jay and joel tugged him toward the next bar was her at the counter, smirking as a few lads tried their luck. she was laughing, out of breath, eyes sharp and teasing, tilting her head as strands of hair stuck to her lip gloss again.

alfie stumbled a little, realizing he’d dropped his watch and then his phone, and he let himself be hauled along, sneaking one more glance back to make sure she was okay.

of course you were— you always were—but still, he couldn’t help it. what if your hair got tangled in your bag again? or if your shoe needed tied?

five drinks later and he couldn’t even remember going for dinner, and you, already slipping into a bathroom stall, had a mischievous grin like you were chasing whatever thrill came next since he had gone.

yourusername

Liked by alfiebuttle, bffcase_yxx and 288 others

yourusername from stuck in the mud to stuck on the dance floor 😛😛😛 (sorry was that cringe)

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beth_bff best photographer 💁‍♀️

joeljoeljoel so cringe babes

yourmum my gorgeous girl, having a fab time 😍🥰🕺🪩🥂

jay__ takes after her gorgeous mother xx

status: ongoing

genre: angst, fluff, pining, and eventual smut

warnings: alcohol consumption, drug use, messy emotions, chaotic group dynamics, jealousy, swearing, hangxiety, and the occasional bad decision in a club toilet.

SUMMER 2021

y/n. eighteen. schoolgirl. main character energy without acting like she wants it. clever. unpredictable. cut-throat humour. above boy nonsense. self-possessed and composed. might use minimal effort but still ends up being the one everyone watches. bit of a wildcard outside of the school uniform. clean hands, dirty habits. only does it with her nails done. respectful. responsible. poster girl. old soul. doesn’t fake laugh. a diamond in the rough.

alfie. eighteen. schoolboy. witty humour. switched on. funny when he actually speaks. unfiltered. gym bro. football hooligan. loves a pint after sixth form. bit too comfy in toilet cubicles. hates drama. watches everything. a chill guy. performative with the lads. quietly sentimental. unbothered all the time. slow texter. plays it cool. soft but not weak. good heart. loud when he wants to be.

two groups. one popular holiday package. rowdy boys who start to feel less unbearable and girls who show their rough edges.

sunburnt skin. hot sand. salty breeze. cherry daiquiris. coconut lotion. seashell earrings. poolside laughs. late night convos. secret glances. salty breeze. house music. warm air. laughter spilling. lips locking. balcony bickering. cups clinking. blinding lights. disco balls and endless amounts of sunglasses.

SERIES MASTERLIST

day one ✈️🧳

day two 🍉💦

day three ⛰️🚍

day four ⛵️🌊

day five 🪩💫

day six 💦💋

day seven