Sexual abuse survivor here. My abuser was a deeply flawed man who was himself a victim of CSA.
How are you going to mitigate the harm pro-contact causes? Do you have a solid understanding of that harm and a clear understanding of preventative measures?
The pro-contact movement owes it to survivors to have defined answers to these questions, and to be willing to engage in dialogue with us - if not, you are in community with abusers. If you are not prepared to have that be fact, you must change it through your actions and the nature or direction of your advocacy.
Sincerely, a survivor with complex PTSD
I am saddened and deeply sorry to hear that has happened to you. Nobody deserves to have that happen to them, and I am glad you feel safe enough to reach out with this.
Not all pro contacts are predators/abusers, and I think it is important to understand the difference. While there is some overlap, a lot of predators do not identify as paraphiles and just seek out victims because they enjoy having easy victims and power. The pro contacts that are not abusers do care about their partner(s) consent and safety.
I believe that for those that are pro contact and do not want to harm their love interests, that there should be easy to access, safe, and verified resources to help them not cause trauma and be abusive; like for example making sure they do not feel scared into or pressured to consent, relationship tips, etc.
Overall I believe that there should be a better distinction between pro contact and predator/abuser. A contact stance or label doesn't determine if you are a good person or not. A personal example for me would be my distress and anger I get when I see people under the anti contact label, because I have horrible memories of them telling me vicious, heinous things, and wanting me to kill myself just because I am not one of them.
