#aaaah!

bro? really? this is too sweet!🥺🫶

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 We should be roommates🏳️‍🌈

😘 Covering your face with kisses

💞 I'd let you do whatever you want to me

😳 Looking at you lustfully respectfully

So I was invited to a job interview at this other place I applied to (which seems amazing and like even better than my current ideal place, which is ideal only because of the location though it pays $8.50/hr), and now I'm freaking out and haven't confirmed the interview yet (okay they sent me the e-mail a few minutes ago around 9:50pm, so, it's reasonable I haven't answered yet 😅).

I just don't even know exactly where this place is. I have an idea 😂 But yes. I feel like I might have been delusional or like in some weird psychosis when I sent my application e-mail and resumé this morning. I SO oversold myself. I am not so amazing as I made myself seem. DID I seem too amazing in that resumé? Like I CAN do all that stuff and those ARE my credentials but CAN I really do that stuff like is any of that actually true?? I swear I feel like an impostor at everything like I am out of place. They will be so disappointed when they see me at my 5'0 glory and hear my chipmunk baby voice with my weird speaking cadence 💀 HELP.

I can't even do my makeup right 😭.

Anyway, I always feel like I'm going through a psychological thing like a weird psychosis/spiral/delusional/hysterical period when I am applying to jobs or like working or doing anything that entails performing like an "adult". It's exhausting because I have to create this false persona in order to appear normal and, well, adult. It's sooo draining. I swear I feel like I am still a clueless 16 year old girl in this 35 year old woman body... I swear I am mentally and spiritually stuck there, at 16 or 17, when I was supposed to be learning all the stuff about growing up and becoming a grown up... I had some traumatic stuff happen around that time and something inside me just froze at that age, as weird as it sounds.

Omg I will confirm that interview right now to get that shit over and done with this week. Lmao hopefully they hire me aksgdfkdhf I am so done with the job hunt.