#aaaaaaaagh.

there is Physical Pain that occurs when i think of laudna's reaction to "i'm gonna miss our little cottage though." i honestly think nothing more emotionally visceral has ever occurred in this campaign. and she so desperately wants that cottage but she squeaks out an "mhm" because she is so completely convinced that she can't have it. which is exactly what delilah wants. i can't go on i'll die

admittedly part of the stress is because that coworker who went to the ER (and is now hospitalized) who i am very fond of had an aneurism right in front me and it was horrible and im very worried about them. I kind of forgot that sort of thing has psychological effects until now

This apartment manager is stressing me the fuck out. I have to ask questions multiple times and/or send follow up emails basically every single time. The paranoid part of my brain is very worried I've been wasting my time on an apartment I won't get. On the other hand, the idea of going back to apartment hunting is horrifying. He was the only person to call me back that didn't end up only having apartments wildly outside my price range, and I'm not sure where else I'll be able to apply with my friend as a caregiver. I hate this. Why is moving stressful AND incredibly expensive AND a shit ton of work. Should have to pick one.

ohhhh i am gonna be So paranoid about keeping my eyes on my phone in case the place i applied to calls me back,,,