#a shitty

as Coran and Allura watches in horror and their innocence obliterated in front of their very salad....

I’m okay

And then the truth settles into my bones,

I miss you and the simple truth is that

As much as I hope you do,

I don’t know if you miss me, too.

You’ve said the words

Once

But that doesn’t clear up where we are

Just friends

For now?

Forever?

Or building back up

To me being your future?

For you’re still mine,

In my heart and

see, here is the thing with me.

i’m screwing everything up again

last semester was different, and somehow, i felt different in many ways that now, i don’t seem to remember anymore

it might be spm talking and tomorrow i will be fine

but as in right now, i don’t feel anything is fine; and

the worst part is that i can’t bring myself to talk about this because i don’t even know how to explain myself 

because, i don’t even have a reason to feel this goddamn way, tbh

i’m studying overseas, getting to know other places, i have amazing friends that have prove what an amazing friend can do for you, my relationship with my parents is greaaat, i love my sister and i have a beautiful cat waiting for me back at home

so, what is the matter?

believe, i ask myself that too

i don’t wanna get al gloomy and sad saying that i'm coming back to my old self-destructive ways with the risk of sounding dramatic, because no, i let that marina in the past

no more being all sad and depressed, i mean, i’ll never stop being this realistic bitch almost negative but that’s how i am, things are what they are men, it is better to hope the worst of almost every upcoming situation and be fuckin prepared

and i knooow i'm rambling right now and i should make sense of myself but i just don’t even know wtf anymore

like, today was one of those days where i don’t even feel comfortable in my own skin and wanted to stay hide under the covers scrolling through my phone watching memes and netflix, the best solution for a crappy day in my opinion

but i can’t afford to miss one day of class considering that last semester i missed half of them

and maybe is other shit happening right now that i can’t bring myself to remember and list so 

i guess i’ll go to bed hoping that tomorrow will be a better day and i have more energy to do more stuff and actually have a proper conversation with my friends

bc see, that is one thing that i really hate doing but i can’t bring myself to stop

i dont wanna act all bitchy with my friends because the don’t have the fault that I’M FREAKIN CRAZY and can’t seem to make sense of myself

this is all on me and they don’t have to be involved in the shitty situations i get myself into with my stupid sad personality that overthinks everything and just get so sensitive and ahhhh wtf

i really hate these days man

fuck

well, bay

see y’all ‘till the next bad day comes around