Apr 19
listen im not a janus hater but as roman defender and supporter and fan and also he's me literally, i do think itd be cathartic to see janus thrown down a well
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listen im not a janus hater but as roman defender and supporter and fan and also he's me literally, i do think itd be cathartic to see janus thrown down a well
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:C
Man say what you want about Ritsu but that really is just how being a traumatized 13 year old is like. "Nothing I do is ever good enough it doesn't matter that everyone says I'm good at this because it's not THIS ONE THING. Why does everyone care about that how does nobody notice that I'm a horrible person who's bad at everything who cares about my grades. I am so bad at this I am lying to everyone everyone is lying to me everything is so so bad and nobody else notices everyone's an idiot for not hating me everyone wants to hurt me I want to hurt someone I want to be a bad person so people stop thinking I'm helpless and dumb and easy to take advantage of. I want to hurt someone and I don't know why. I want to make bad decisions I want to ruin my life I want to stop pretending to be okay I'm so tired of pretending to be okay everything I do makes me feel worse i want to get worse I want to get out of this house with people who want to hurt me I want to get out!!! I want everyone to hate me and hurt me and realize I am awful but I'm too scared to say anything. Clearly I have never loved anyone because any Good Person would never think these things. Clearly my brother hates me because why else would he do that. Everyone is going to hate me and I'm tired of making them feel better. Please just hate me. Please I'm tired." Like. Not to be too overly specific but that's literally just what it was like being thirteen with undiagnosed ocd. I think if I'd been into mp100 when I was 13 I'd have realized some Things pretty quickly.
While falling in love with my boyfriend did help me realize I wasn’t a lesbian, I am grateful that he’s also bisexual because microdosing the homosexuality did cushion the blow a little
"I'm telling you, no matter what you think you saw, that I've seen some things too, no one ever taught Blue how to die"
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hyunjin — song camp ep.03
Why Tommy likes Sam Nook
c!Tommy and Sam Nook’s relationship is very interesting when looking at Tommy’s character. By all accounts, Tommy should hate Sam Nook the same way he hates any type of authority. Wilbur betrayed him, Techno did (-ish but it counts), Dream did so much lol. There’s others but I don’t wanna list them.
So why does Tommy get along with Sam Nook so well?
I mentioned before that Tommy’s constantly changing enviroment causes him to subconsiously act out to figure out boundaries and what he will and wont get in trouble for. Sam Nook is easy to predict, and because of that Tommy feels safer around him. Sam Nook will request some materials, Tommy will retrieve said materials, return, improvements will be made, rinse repeat. You don’t get nervous going to the shopkeeper in a video game because there’s like two dialogue options and they can’t judge or attack you, its not in their code.
It also gives Tommy an objective to work on. In a previous post (here) I pointed out how Tommy needs direction. As any teenager needs. The disks is an example I used. Basically the disks weren’t important, but Tommy put weight on them and worked toward getting them back. Because it gave him purpose.
Sam Nook gives Tommy time consuming, straightforward and easily done, but not difficult or useless work that pays off in the form of the hotel being continued and improved upon.
Basically Sam Nook is easy to predict, straightforward, and kind which makes him feel safe, and provides Tommy with easily obtainable goals and milestones that take work but are productive and not dangerous.