#:''''''''''''')

GOD OF WAR // ACCEPTING

she stares at the pale light of the fish tank glumly and makes a mental note to get her lone fish some new compatriots next time they’re on the citadel. a quick glance to the clock aside her bed, numbers gleaming red in the darkness, assures her that yes, it is as early as she suspected and still not an ounce of tiredness, much less the desired embrace of a good night’s rest. shepard sighs restlessly, rolls onto her side, and begins slipping into her training clothes. it’s been helpful the past few weeks to train when sleep evades, to begin feeling comfortable in her body and skin once more. 

she steps out into the hallway, she pauses. “edi? can you connect to garrus’ comms?” she quickly adds, “if he’s up. don’t wake him.” 

“shepard?” her omni-tool crackles to life a moment later as edi patches him through. “everything ok? it’s late”

“uh-,” eloquent as always. “i was going to train in the hangar for a while, work on getting adjusted to my, well,” a pause, “my limbs. everything just feels sort of rusty, stiff. thought i’d see if you want to join.” 

there’s a moment of silence and shepard wants to bang her head against the wall for bothering him when the omni-tool crackles once again. “lucky for you, my schedule’s wide open. give me ten and i’ll meet you there.” 

he does exactly that and the next two hours fly by. it’s an uncomfortable process, feeling her the knits in her muscle tighten and bend and strengthen after years of statis that even the past few weeks haven’t been able to ease. still, garrus is patient with her, even when a punch is harder than intended, when she has to double over to catch her breath and stop the shaking in her limbs. he’s helpful, as always, giving quiet little tips of advice, nodding when there’s a success and helping her back onto her feet when there’s failure. 

shepard finally sits, breathless and soaked with sweat, with her back against the wall. “thanks, garrus,” she nods and reaches for her water, tips the cylinder back and allows some to fall over her matted hair. “i needed that. i feel like, i don’t know, if i practice around the others, they end up…assessing.” she pauses, elbows resting on her knees as she takes another long sip of water. “it’s stupid, i know, but i don’t want people to be watching and adding up some sort of score card to see just what exactly commander shepard can and can’t do. i don’t want to be on display.” her title is stated with more than a little false bravado and she gives a little laugh, glances over to him. “if you were keeping a score card, you’d better burn it before i find out.” 

he laughs as well, subharmonics rumbling, and his mandibles flare to the sides of his mouth. “if i was, the scores would’ve been just fine, shepard. maybe even impressive.” his cerulean gaze focuses on her, assessingly but not unkindly. “think you’ll be able to get some sleep now?”

shepard cocks her head to the side. “i didn’t say anything about-”

a talon waves dismissively, then lowers to nudge lightly against her shoulder, “come on, shepard. you should know by now that i pick up on more than i let on.” 

❛     still don`t really understand why you wanna` get rid of ALL YOUR HUMAN FEELINGS  so damn badly.   ❜    WITH HANDS JAMMED TIGHTLY INTO HIS POCKETS ;   he looks down.  not so much that he feels saddened by it , rather ,  it causes him to think more about it.