#90svan

@90svan pulled Jackie Taylor aside at the compound (S2 AU)

Camp Green Pine was a powder keg, and it only took a matter of days for the ammunition to be set.

Twenty-five years they'd all spent trying to move on from the disaster, crawling their separate ways out of the darkness. Coping in manifold methods, each carefully selected like a poison to numb, starve, and choke out the gnawing animals within them. Some of the team kept in touch, forming a vital support network for one another. Others separated themselves entirely (or were separated), and yet that bond they shared sunk deep in their flesh like hooks, claws, teeth.

And now the Yellowjackets were forced to face themselves as they were, once again. Jackie was privately reeling -- Lottie's well-meaning but misguided attempt to save Natalie's life had drawn the kindling to the compound. Misty, Taissa, Shauna, and Van. Each one a firestarter in their own unique ways -- except out of all of them, the lawyer perhaps trusted the redhead most to keep their cool. Not to light the pyre of Lottie's carefully constructed community, as she might have once accused Van in their varsity days. She and Jackie both understood the intentions of the other woman's beliefs.

A hunter and a butcher could feed the aching stomach, but theirs was a hunger of the mind, a shared sickness through which only Lottie could see most clearly. And Van had known it for longer than most of them, bearing the scars to prove it.

"They're planning what?" Her concerned question was hissed through whitened teeth. Of course the conniving Misty would likely be the one to leave the lawyer out of the loop -- though Jackie wouldn't put it past Shauna to hold a grudge after all this time. "They all know that Lottie's our best chance at actually working through whatever this is right now, right? I mean, even Natalie has stopped behaving like a feral cat after just a few days here. Her leadership helped us before, we just have to see this through."

@90svan gets a semi-plotted 'faked death' thing.

A DEEP INHALATION OF SMOKE IS TAKEN IN from the cigarette in hand while staring mindlessly at the store in front of her. 'While You Were Streaming' rings in the back of her mind and she's nearly chuckled several times at the reference; how bluntly iconic, she thinks. But that's not her biggest concern; knowing that the conversation about to be had will not be an easy one. Doesn't matter how close her and Van had been in passing, faking one's death was never quite an easy thing to admit on any capacity and she's honestly, nervous as fucking hell.

Knowing full well that the red head she's about to approach will have every right to lash out in anger and confusion. When she does take that initiative, Nat lets the cigarette fall to her feet, stepping onto it and letting it crumble beneath her boot upon the pavement before finally making her way towards the store in full by crossing the street. Misty had insisted on joining her in this reunion and yet, Natalie refused, wanting to do this all on her own, because she owed Van that much. This was between them and no one else. It'd been about a year or so now after all and she knows this won't be an easy conversation for either of them to have.

this is actually so much easier than it should be but then i feel bad about leaving people out so here we go

bellamy <3 always my number 1 always will be

raven <3 the reason i started watching the show

harper <3 this one is relatively new. i've always loved her, but i was more excited seeing jarod's name than chelsey's because it meant miller was in the episode. but her season 4 and season 5 arcs are so special to me. her let's show them how to live line is EVERYTHING

echo <3 i will defend echo for my entire life actually. one of the most fascinating characters on this show

clarke <3 specifically season 4 clarke <3 i think she's so complex and incredibly interesting because of it.

bonus because i feel bad: monty, emori, niylah, miller, & luna (special mention of s5-7 octavia) INDRA, lincoln

double bonus because these chars fascinate me but not enough to make the list: anya, callie cad/ogan, diyoza, shaw, murphy, jaha (i loathe him but he interesting to me), jackson & sinclair & kane

"Because,"‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she speaks with a shrug,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎turning her gaze away from the reminiscent face of @90svan.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎They always had the ability to pull her face into ways that she couldn't bite back,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎despite her insistent nature to keep everything close:‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎a closed book rather than an open poem‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(for which the words would not rhyme).‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎With eyes trailing around Van's home,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎it almost has the same affect.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Her eyebrows dip in,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎her lips pull into a thin line,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎and she's stuck tucking her hair behind her ears just like she did when she was a kid...‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎It's not as if it were planned for her to be here,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but it's not as if she hasn't thought about.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎All she needed was the push:

also known as Taissa,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎who's sleeping in another room.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Audrey couldn't sleep right now if she tried.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Heart beat too loud in her chest,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎her finger tips tingling as if the blood has completely washed out of them,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎moved elsewhere,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎and the damning final nail in the coffin:‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎when was the last time she and Van were in the same room?‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎"What if you didn't want to see me?‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎What if...‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎talking to me was one thing but actually seeing me was another?"‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎When she actually turns her brown eyes back to the other,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎her shoulders sink and her chest nearly caves in.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Breathe,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she has to remind herself.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎"I don't think I could handle it if you didn't wanna see me again,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎or if you looked at me like..."‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Like a reminder of their past,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎their wrongdoings carved by the teeth of vicious girls...

This line of questioning has never lead anyone to places worthy of their time:‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎countless nights she's spent sat up thinking about it,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎about them,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎about the all consuming nature of her friends and the ravenous desire they had to survive.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎If pushed,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎if compelled by a greater force,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she could admit some truth‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(a truth not yet shared with @90svan,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎because of the constant what ifs...‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎what if they didn't feel the same way,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎what if they didn't look at her anymore,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎stopped picking up her calls):‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she misses it.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Not always,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎and maybe not now,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎sitting on the phone with Van knowing that for better of for worse,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎they lived,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎they both lived.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎"I don't know."‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎It's a simple admission,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎and she wishes she could answer with a verbal admission of everything great that Van is now‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(and she could,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎there's much to say:‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎from humor to comfort to an honest sense of self that Audrey was constantly in awe of)‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but what good could that give them?

In the woods,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎they had meaning:‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎they as in the both of them,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎acolytes that made them feel meaningful in an arena where little could have mattered.

but things have changed, and she can see it in van, too — no one can expect everyone to stay exactly the way they were before the crash. akilah can't do it herself, either, no matter how desperately she's been clinging to that life, telling herself that it's not too far from reach.

She almost chuckles,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎if only she weren't so tired.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎So instead she offers @90svan the small upturn of the corner of her lip.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎"You have no right to talk,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎you look like shit too."‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎It's her best attempt at a joke,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎one that doesn't land and immediately squeezes her near empty stomach in knots.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎A gentle hand‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(one that mimics the caring touch her mother used to give her during each doctors appointment)‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎moves to brush a piece of their hair from their face.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎In doing so she reveals more of the blood stained makeshift bandages:‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎in it,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎is an offering of choice.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Half the team cowers away,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎the gore being too much to handle on borderline starvation,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but Audrey doesn't mind.

She wouldn't mind if it were anyone else,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎and she certainly doesn't mind because it's Van.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎She needs them.