*݁ ‍ ‍ ‍𝗡͟𝗔͟𝗧͟𝗔͟𝗟͟𝗜͟𝗘͟ .

𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝗆𝖾;

𝗐𝖾'𝗅𝗅 𝗀𝗈 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒.

@scatcrccio | misty for nat

A LOUD, ALMOST EXAGGERATED GRUNT LEAVES NAT THE MOMENT THE DOOR SHOVES ITSELF OPEN and causes her to stumble back a bit as Misty makes her way inside, uninvited. She's not even fully awake yet, which makes the intrusion all the more inconvenient, and it shows on her face, surely. Misty begins to speak, and Natalie's still standing there with a hand upon the door for a second before slamming it shut, irritably. Eyes soon glancing towards the newly formed pile of cigarette packs on the still disheveled bed. It's as if she needed a minute or two to process what was happening in front of her. Perplexed, her gaze slowly shifts to Misty again. ❝ What the fuck are you doing here, Misty—? ❞

lottie  stood  there,      arms  folded  over  her  chest,      while  she  waited  for  natalie  to  join  her.      she  caught  every  scoff,      every  sarcastic  remark,      every  roll  of  her  eyes  and  all  lottie  could  do  was  chuckle  silently  to  herself.      surrounding  them  was  nothing  but  darkness,      especially  now  that  the  car  was  turned  off  and  the  moonlight  was  blocked  by  the  canopy  of  trees  towering  above  them.      the  wind,      while  still  blowing,      had  reached  a  certain  calm  that—      to  lottie—      signaled  Its  satisfaction  that  they  were  there.      ❝  well,  hurry  up.  don’t  trip  on  anything.  ❞      the  sarcastic  wave  of  the  lighter  from  natalie  earned  a  playful  roll  of  her  eyes  before  she  turned  on  her  heel  to  take  the  lead  towards  their  destination.  there  was  no  need  for  a  flashlight  when  she'd  already  memorized  these  woods  and  could  move  through  them  blind.      still,      it  was  something  else  that  guided  her.      something  she  couldn't  name,      only  follow—      like  always.      at  the  mention  of  an  orgy,      one  brow  lifted  as  a  crooked  smile  tugged  at  her  mouth.      ❝  careful,  nat,  ❞      she  teased.      ❝  you  almost  sound  a  little  hopeful.  ❞

the  two  walked  for  a  bit  with  lottie  leading  the  way,      guiding  natalie  through  various  obstacles  that  would  have  been  much  easier  to  get  over  if  there  had  been  some  semblance  of  light  aside  from  the  tip of a cigarette  that  she  presumed  would  be  crushed  beneath  boots  at  any  moment.      ❝  not  to  sound  like  a  cliché,  ❞      she  said,      eyes  tracking  the  smoke  as  natalie  exhaled  and  it  dissolved  between  them.      ❝  but  those  things  will  kill  you. ❞      she  stated,      knowing  fully  well  it  wouldn’t  make  any  difference.

it  was  abrupt  when  lottie  stopped,      extending  an  arm  across  natalie's  path  to  keep  her  from  taking  another  step.      ❝  shh,  ❞      she  murmured.      ❝  listen.  ❞      just  beyond  the  trees  in  front  of  them,      a  distant  roar  of  rushing  water  carried  through  the  forest.      a  small  smile  tugged  at  the  corner  of  her  mouth.      ❝  come  on.  ❞      for  the  briefest  moment,      they were  seventeen  again—      running  alongside  their  friends  toward  the  lake  days  after  the  plane  had  crashed.      it  had  been  the  calm  before  the  storm.      the  beginning  of  the  end.      lottie  slipped  effortlessly  between  the  trees,      certain  natalie  would  follow.      and  on  the  other  side—      a  waterfall  spilled  over  the  cliff's  edge.      ❝  give  me  your  lighter.  please.  ❞      she  held  out  her  hand,      and  once  natalie  obliged,      lottie  crossed  toward  the  edge  of  the  water  where  a  careful  arrangement  of  candles  and  small  offerings  waited.

one  by  one,      she  began  lighting  them.      

❝  isn't  it  incredible?  just  wait  until  you  see.  ❞

Her shirt gets tagged several times by branches that are hard to see during their escapade. The mentioning of Nat sounding hopeful causes her to scoff, but she says nothing in response because the indulgence seemed pointless to continue. Then again, it wouldn't have really surprised her if Lottie was escorting her into an orgy type scenario. Still, she hopes that isn't the case. Another hit from the cigarette and she can barely see the smoke exuding in front of her when Lottie speaks again. Her eyes simply rolling in their usual dramatic fashion, head shaking and she continues to smoke despite the dispute. ❝ So I've heard. ❞

There's a deep, lingering feeling she's always felt that cigarettes weren't about to be the cause of her overall demise and so, she continues to indulge regardless. It already feels like she's walking into a trap and even more so when Lottie stops abruptly with an arm extended to stop Nat from moving further.

The sound of water floods her ears and her brows furrow in slight confusion still as to why they're there, but she stays silent. Dropping the cigarette butt and smashing it with the toe of her boot into dirt which will no doubt piss Lottie off. But perhaps she's too preoccupied with their destination. Nat follows, doing as she's told like the good little lap dog that she is, apparently. What is it about Lottie Matthews—? Fuck.

Coming up to the waterfall, it's lighted only by the moon and for a moment, Nat stands there speechless and in awe of its beauty. It almost catches her off guard suddenly when the request for her lighter is presented. ❝ Oh, yeah. ❞ She says, reaching into her pocket and retrieving the requested lighter, handing it over willingly without even automatically seeing the ritualistic scene in front of them near the water's edge. Light emerges when candles are lit, and Nat looks more confused. ❝ Lottie… what are we doing here? ❞

their   hands   were   still   touching   and   lottie   could   feel   the   way   natalie’s   body   was   tensing   up   beneath   her   skin,       despite   her   trying   to   convince   them   both   that   she   felt   safe.       fight   or   flight   had   always   been   natalie’s   default   setting   and   it   didn’t   surprise   her   that   she   was   in   that   state   now.       after   all,       lottie   did   get   her   lost   in   the   middle   of   nowhere       …       in   the   dark          …       away   from   civilization.       lottie   knew   natalie   wouldn’t   resort   to   violence   unless   pushed   to   that   point   of   fighting   to   survive.       she   was   good—       the   best   of   them   if   lottie   were   to   be   honest.       ❝   why   did   you   let   me   lead   you   here?   surely   you   knew   we   were   going   the   wrong   way   about   forty   -   five   minutes   ago;   it   doesn't   take   that   long   to   get   back   from   the   farmer's   market.   ❞ lottie   was   toying   with   her   now.       seeing   how   far   she   could   go   before   natalie   snapped   back   with   retort   or   some   insinuation   that   lottie   was   insane.       really,       though,       lottie   was   just   curious   to   see   if   natalie   would   utilize   the   things   she'd   taught   her   in   the   time   she'd   spent   at   elysian   grove.       testing   her   own   teachings,       so   to   speak.       dissecting   how   deep   her   influence   truly   went.       after   all,       natalie   had   always   been   the   hardest   one   to   convince.       ❝   i   think   it's   what   you   wanted   because   you   feel   It   too,   ❞   the   hand   that   had   been   resting   on   natalie's   thigh   lifted,       but   just   enough   to   guide   natalie's   hand   to   her   own   chest   over   her   heart.       ❝   right   here.   in   your   chest.   ❞       her   voice,       still   otherwordly,       was   lower   now   and   silence   filled   the   car   for   a   long   moment   as   she   allowed   natalie   to   comprehend   what   she   was   saying.  ❝   anyway       …       i   brought   you   here   to   show   you   something.   ❞       lottie   admitted,       pulling   her   hand   back   and   turning   her   body   until   she   was   facing   straight   ahead   again.       ❝   do   you   have   a   lighter?   we'll   need   it.   ❞          she   pushed   the   car   door   open   and   stepped   out,       peeking   her   head   back   inside   when   she   realized   natalie   wasn't   making   any   attempt   to   follow.       ❝   come,   natalie.   you   can   trust   me.   ❞ 

She thinks about it, fingers still tightly wrapped around the steering wheel as she stares forward, twisting her grip and taking in a deep inhalation of breath. It's what you wanted because you feel it too, those words echo in the back of her mind like nails on a chalkboard. The hand that had been brought to her chest didn't last long before it was placed back upon the steering wheel almost defiantly. A light scoff leaving her in the process, eyes rolling, she couldn't have indicated her irritation in that moment more clearly without saying a word.

Gaze doesn't return to Lottie again until she's already stepped out of the car, asking about a lighter and saying ( once again ), that she could be trusted. Not to mention the way she commands her to come as if she were some sort of pet. And like the dutiful yet stubborn cat that she was, she lazily opens the driver's side door and slinks herself out, ❝ 'course I got a lighter. ❞ Stated begrudgingly and with some attitude to tone as if it had been the dumbest question she's been asked her entire life. Speaking of which, she ducks and reaches back into the car to open the glove department and take out a pack of cigarettes she had stored away a few days prior.

↟𖠰˚☾         INCORRECT QUOTES.         :         ᶠᵗ  @scatcrccio.        insp.

NAT COULD RELATE TO THAT, OF COURSE. Not having a single clue as to what she'd do later in life. No career path seemed particularly enticing and anything that did was far too out of reach. Any capabilities she could have had would have landed her in probably the most mediocre scenario, she didn't even care to think about it. No real dreams meant no real outcomes. Maybe that was why part of her still clung onto the past — out there. She was important then, not so much anymore.

THE  ROAD—      IF  IT  COULD  EVEN  BE  CALLED  A  ROAD—      WAS  BARELY  WIDE  ENOUGH  FOR  A  SINGLE  CAR,      unpaved  in  places,      and  swallowed  by  pines  that  seemed  to  press  closer  the  deeper  they  drove.      the  trip  from  the  farmer’s  market  back  home  was  only  fifteen  minutes,      but  they  had  been  driving  for  at  least  an  hour.      there  was  no  logical  reason  for  them  to  take  the  long  way  back  to  the  compound,      but  lottie  had  been  the  navigator      :      left  here,      straight  ahead,       right  at  the  fork.      ❝  keep  going  straight.  ❞      lottie  said  from  the  passenger  seat,      tone  distant  but  dreamy  in  that  way  that  often  made  the  other  yellowjackets’  jaws  clench.      natalie  was  no  exception.      lottie  could  tell  by  the  white  -  knuckled  grip  on  the  wheel  and  the  profanities  muttered  under  her  breath  that  natalie’s  patience  was  wearing  thin.      ❝  now  would  be  the  perfect  opportunity  for  you  to  practice  those  breathing  techniques  i  taught  you.  ❞

the  wind  picked  up  outside—      threading  through  the  trees  in  a  language  only  lottie  seemed  to  understand.      she  listened.      ❝  turn  left  up  ahead.  ❞      natalie’s  inevitable  argument  regarding  her  direction  died  before  it  could  fully  leave  her  mouth  when  a  break  in  the  trees  appeared  ahead—      another  narrow  path  branching  off  from  the  road  that  would  lead  them  further  into  pitch black.      lottie’s  hand  found  natalie’s  thigh.      ❝  just  a  little  bit  further,  nat.  trust  me.  ❞      those  words  alone  seemed  to  set  her  off,      but  even  as  natalie  argued  with  her  and  accused  her  of  getting  them  lost  deliberately—      the  car  turned  left  and  continued  down  the  path.

the  new  road  was  worse  and  almost  entirely  swallowed  by  the  forest.      the  wind  was  louder  here,      howling  through  the  trees  in  a  way  that  almost  sounded  human.      ❝  can  you  hear  it?  it’s  so  loud  tonight.  ❞      her  hand  was  still  resting  on  natalie’s  thigh,      fingers  tightening  as  though  speaking  of  It  aloud  gave  her  some  sort  of  high.      ❝  stop  here.  ❞      she  whispered,      ❝  this  is  where  we’re  supposed  to  be.  ❞      the  car  slowed,      then  stopped.        ❝  every  time  you’re  around—      it  gets  louder.  and  tonight,  it  was  screaming.  ❞      she  turned  toward  natalie.      ❝  do  you  feel  safe  with  me?  it's  important  to  me  that  you  feel  safe.  ❞

The entire time feeling as if they were going nowhere. It's wasting her gas and her frustration is palpable, clearly, since Lottie reminds her of their breathing techniques. A roll of her eyes is a dead giveaway that she's beyond trying to control her breath. Her lungs are tight and her jaw is locked as bottom teeth press forward, lips slightly pursed. ❝ Please tell me you've at least taken this route before and you know where the fuck we are because— ❞ Lottie's hand nestles upon her thigh and it's like an instant shut off. Trust me, she says, as if it were the most simplest thing in the world.

Again, Nat rolls her eyes and shakes her head as one arm is leaning against the opened window and the other is white-knuckled upon the steering wheel. ❝ Face it, Lottie. We're fuckin' lost! If I get killed in these woods, my ghost is coming after you first. This is ridiculous. ❞ A bit further down the road and everything was pitch black with just a few tree barks in sight. The beams of her car didn't exactly offer higher resolution and at this point she felt as if they were headed into a horror movie situation.

❝ Can you hear it? it’s so loud tonight. ❞ —— The actual fuck—?

But then Lottie tells her to stop and she comes to a slow crawl before the vehicle fully stops as instructed. Nat sits there, still confused. Yes, she can hear the whistle of the wind through the trees, but do they speak to her? No, not really. They never did. Unless they're diving into her self conscious and manipulating her without her knowledge, she doesn't have the same 'gift' that Lottie does. Nor does she want to ( or does she ? ).

That hasn't exactly changed, even now —  she can still get mean when Nat's undeserving, only because she's so quick to call Tai on the things she's refusing to think about herself.   Still,  she looks back on their lives together and knows that despite all of that,  she's proud of her.   She's proud of the player she was on the field,  proud of the hunter she was in the Wilderness,  and proud of the leader she became out there.  She owes her life to her,  even if Nat might not agree,  but it's how Tai has always seen it.    She always thought it would be herself to guide them through to eventual safety,  but it's because of Nat they got there,  and she doesn't hold the same jealousy she would have in high school,  like with Jackie making captain instead of her -- she's always known Nat was the right person for it.

And she's still alive,  still going on.  Taissa knows first hand that's not an easy feat—   and she's hard on Nat because she doesn't want anything bad to happen to her.   Sometimes too hard,  because she's afraid of the call she'll get someday to learn she didn't make it,  which is why it's so difficult for her to see her like this now.   ❝  I'm worried about it,  ❞    she retorts quickly,   raising a brow that tells Nat it's not going to be that easy.   Because her answer is vague,  and clearly a deflection—   Tai would know,  she's perfected those her entire life.   ❝  Come on.  You know you can talk to me.  ❞    But does she?  Tai's never really been that kind of friend no matter how hard she's worked to be there for her.   

IF THOUGHTS WERE DECISIVE, NAT WOULD'VE EXPECTED TAI TO HOLD THE CROWN. Above anyone else, Taissa Turner had that authority driven blood she'd seen in no one else. Even when Jackie was given that title of Captain, it surprised Nat because it was always Tai who held a sense of jurisdiction more so than anyone. She loved the game, she loved the rules and she loved order.

Makes sense now to see her as a government official. But Nat—? Natalie never had an ounce of authority nor want for it and yet, how she became a leader in any capacity was beyond her understanding. The young girl always seen as the alcoholic disappointment who somehow still managed to kick a ball right and play the game when it counted, all of a sudden viewed as some sort of commander in chief sounded ridiculous on paper. If anything, she was only a voice of reason.

But even that seemed ridiculous and confusing at the time, especially now when thinking back on it all. They really were crazy back then. Of course, Tai isn't buying Nat's excuses but she's grateful that the other hasn't quite put every piece together as to what's actually going on inside her own head. That's for the best, she thinks. But she's also digging, far too much than Nat wants her to. Now it's time to bring out the big guns - so to speak - in relation to being as dismissive as possible and hope Tai plays along. Regardless of already knowing that it won't be that easy.

❝ I think you have bigger and more important things to worry about right now, Tai. Let me worry about me and you worry about the things that actually matter the most. Like your son. Sammy's the one who needs your full attention, not me. I've thought about my own path enough and I know what the best option is. I mean, to some extent, I guess. But it's not your problem. I'm not your problem anymore. You need to accept that as much as I do. ❞