Space Oddity

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"I’m not sensitive.”

The response was sharp as it was automatic, but it was the only interruption Brunnie would make. Her glare lessened its bite when she caught the small shrug and the weak furrow touching his brow.

She could practically hear his pleading for something of an acceptance, that’s how easy it was for her to see it. 

She ended up giving him a flat stare before blowing out a heavy sigh.

She knew she was callous (she didn’t care), but she liked to think she wasn’t heartless. Still, there was that tiny voice saying she was going to regret this. 

"Well, as long as you don’t break anything - or try to pull a fast one - I won’t…try to kill ya." 

Jamie was fast asleep by the time Brunnie got back; for the longest moment she only stood where she’d stopped in the doorway, looking at him - yet not really seeing him, or the glittering strands of color lighting the ceiling, or the dusty records…

She’d woken up that morning with something - the closest she could get to describe it was a fog - shadowing her thoughts and leaving a numbness in her chest which left no room for anger or the desire for calm. 

She’d hoped a long walk throughout Burgess would shake it off, but it was still there, insistent and to a near melancholic state. She couldn’t place a reason for it, and she didn’t like it. 

Whatever it was, it became a tad lighter to see there was company waiting for her - in a manner of speaking. A thin smile found its way onto her face as Brunnie reached over to tug a thick, green blanket over him to keep out the cold before taking a seat on the couch’s edge. 

A few strands of light brown hair were flicked out of his eyes before she let her hand rest on his shoulder; it rose and fell in a slow, deep rhythm with his breathing as she smooth her thumb over the fabric of his shirt, over and over, hoping it would soothe anything which ailed the younger spirit. 

Weary, and her guard unwittingly down, voices began to play and come alive in her memories…children’s voices…familiar voices…

"I don’t wanna go to bed, I wanna work on my clay aliens!" 

"Your alien army will be waiting for their supreme leader in the morning -" 

"Ursie, Ursie! Will you read me a bedtime story?!"

"Alright, as long as you’re in bed by the time I come in to tuck you in, Suri, got it?" 

"OK!!" 

…

"…Eddie? Marie? What’re you two doin’ up…?" 

"…She had another dream about Mom…" 

The numbness became a weight; her eyes started to itch, then sting. 

"You don’t know that!!" Her voice turned shrill. “You don’t know that! How - how can you say this won’t happen again?!”

She couldn’t stop going back to the night she heard of the miscarriage; she didn’t have enough time to get her mind around it, but walking into the room, seeing Jamie coming apart…