#7lifetimes

I dare you.

If the older version of yourself came to you and gave you a hint that the one you currently love might not exist like this forever, would you still let yourself fall in love?

We will never truly know if a relationship will work, or will last ‘forever’, but we still owe it to ourselves to love them as hard as we can for as long as it lasts. In fact, I don’t think I can imagine loving any less intensely as what comes naturally to me. Even more true when the object of my affections is someone who completely ‘gets’ me.

I think the thing we most easily overlook is that love takes work. It’s easy to fall in love with someone, but it takes a lifetime of work to keep that love going strong. And what’s even tougher to admit is that you never know which day could be the last.

There’s a quote about ‘missing 100% of the shots you don’t take’ and I think it’s really important to remember that- in love and in all other aspects of life.

But what comes after ‘I love you’? What happens once you agree to let yourself love someone so completely that you can’t imagine how you made it through life before this person existed in the way they do now.

How do you navigate something that cannot be captured by cartography? There’s no accurate map or instruction manual guiding you. Do you trust your instinct? What if you feel clueless and lost and yet somehow completely sure you’re in the right place.

Maybe I was never really lost- maybe I was just passing through on my way to you.

I like to keep music going all night and all day

I need to drown out the memories of you

You woke my heart up from hibernation

You made it so easy to write again

I've got words in my head, flowing

Like the leaves in the breeze, just blowing, floating

I'll keep my thoughts in my head

I know they should never be shared

I'll turn the lyrics into song

You need to know what's going on

This is where I take a pause

You need to know, that you're the cause

All this heartache is from you.

Is this a truth you never knew??

Turns out I'm not the girl for you

Look at all these feelings I found deep inside

What you really hurt, is my pride

Just knowing that I didn't win

And that we'll never kiss again.

Writing this makes me want to text you right now.

But.

It's midnight.

Fuck.

I really need to go to bed

And tell these words they can't be said.

The couple is believed to be bound together for seven lifetimes, implying a connection that extends beyond their current existence.

I sincerely adore and respect this concept. Finding someone in this lifetime who sees you, loves you, needs you, and supports you; but then understanding and trusting that they will find you in your next version of existence and love you just as deeply because their soul will keep searching for yours for 7 lifetimes.

This concept speaks to me so loudly. My soul is not easily satisfied. It has continued the search for you for this entire lifetime thus far. My soul will not rest until it finds the you that it loved in previous lifetimes.

I can’t wait until the moment when I realize that I've found you again.

To attempt a dive into the 7 vows of this tradition, I have let Google/ AI explain to me in simple terms;

1. First Vow:

We vow to live together with honor and respect, providing for ourselves and our family, ensuring everyone's basic needs are met.

2. Second Vow:

We vow to develop and nurture each other's mental, physical, and spiritual strength, supporting each other's well-being.

3. Third Vow:

We vow to acquire wealth through righteous means and proper use, ensuring the financial well-being of our family.

4. Fourth Vow:

We vow to cultivate happiness, harmony, and knowledge through mutual love and respect, building a strong and fulfilling relationship.

5. Fifth Vow:

We vow to raise strong, virtuous, and heroic children, ensuring the next generation is well-equipped and ethical.

6. Sixth Vow:

We vow to exercise self-restraint and strive for longevity, committing to a long and healthy life together.

7. Seventh Vow:

I’ve been through enough relationships and heartbreaks for 7 lifetimes. Why were none of them right? Why did the stars not align for any one of those relationships? I was so upset over the years, cursing the universe for not answering my prayers.

Looking back, maybe it’s the unanswered prayers that saved me.

Maybe because I wasn’t fully myself yet…not even close.

I had no idea how to love, or how to be loved. No idea how to respect myself or my lover.

It still breaks my heart when I see engagement and wedding posts on social media.

I’ve never had that. Never had a worthy man look at me like I was everything to him.

I always thought that I was doing everything I could to be the dream girl for the guy I liked.

The one thing I never did was be myself.

I don’t know why I still secretly dream of having a wedding and a marriage someday, because at the moment, it still terrifies me to think of being that intertwined with another person's life, and that it might end badly.

I still wish to be the sparkle in someone’s eye. The reason he smiles at little thoughts throughout the day. The reason he continues to do great things and reach for more, rather than settle in life.

I want to inspire someone and be inspired by them in the same breath. To keep growing together, side by side, with a forward momentum that feels everlasting.

I hope it's not too late to turn this around and find a deep, meaningful love with a man who is equally as in love with me as he is with own life.