#6.10.20

It was the type of building you didn’t notice until the night. When the restaurants and clubs had long shut off their signs in an attempt to discourage mosquitoes and bats and other cruel unwanted things that lurked in the Mississippi night.

But Mark’s Bar had kept the lights on. Not the warm welcoming lights I was hoping for as I stumbled through the too early morning murk. There was no red orange glow of Prometheus’s flame, that flickering promise of humanity. These lights were harsh and electric. An arrogant display of confidence. “Come bite us” the lights buzzed to the monsters and men in the dark. The frenzied white signs were a mockery of the moon. “This is a place to get bitten.” The last of my sobriety dragged me past.

I’m so excited!! There’s always a dramatic energy change for me on each of the solstices. But I’m more excited to be celebrating it as an actual holiday this year! Especially with the Fae!! It’s gonna be crazyy lol

I asked Prince if he maybe wanted to spar at the celebration, since he’s wanted to spar with me for a while and we’ve never gotten around to it. He didn’t think it was a good idea lol. I guess I’m just not sure what to do or bring! I guess I should ask Prince lol he’ll have answers... hopefully.

So there is a small grove of trees at a school nearby that I pass through when I take walks. I’ve been there many times, and I’ve spoken to one of the trees a couple of times. They expressed interest in having a longer conversation, but it’s never been the right time, as there’s always been people nearby, or I didn’t have the time or energy. Well, yesterday was the perfect time. I walked by, there was no one around. The weather was perfect. My energy was feeling good. 

I walked into the grove, and immediately it felt different. That’s what I love so much about the forest. When trees get together, the energy around them truly feels almost... magical. I felt very safe. I talked with the tree. They looked... tall and slender, with sharp features. Their face was wrinkled, but not necessarily from old age. I think it’s more like wrinkles, like wood. Also they appeared in a more masculine form.

It was more of a formal, introductory conversation. I’m kicking myself because I didn’t bring an offering; I promised I’d bring one next time I passed by. It went well.

In other news... I think the Goddess that I’ve been feeling lately has indeed been Skadi... I think... I had a pretty long interaction with her the other day... I’ll actually write it out if I do end up confirming that it is her, and we agree to work together. But I can feel her eyes... she’s watching me. Curious, observing. I’ve also been thinking about her. But I’m just being very cautious; I’ve never done this before, working with a deity, and I want to be sure. 

Hmm... what else... I’m officially done with school! It’s summerrrr! I get to fly home in 3 weeks to visit my friends and family, which I’m excited for. In the meantime, I’m going to try and get a job. Besides that, I have a lott of spiritual stuff that I need to do. I obviously have Midsummer plans. I’m thinking about going to the ocean next week. And I’ve been thinking about maybe doing some camping... maybe... 

Oh! I made my first sigil this morning! I made it for good luck on my exam lol. The drawing was sloppy; I was initially going to do some like breakdown of the letters, but ended up just free forming it. It turned out okay. I’ll try the letter-thing next time and see how I like it. 

Anyways, I think that’s it for now. I hope that everyone has a lovely evening!