#5yearoldme

I was watching Nickelodeon because it was awesome back then, and they always had the best commercials.  I remember seeing this commercial all the time for that big rolling/folding art case that came with like every art supply imaginable, and to my 5 year old mind it was tHE COOLEST THING EVER, because think of all the possibilities?!?!  So... I wanted one, but I knew my parents would never get me one.  But one day, I see the commercial, and even though I was 5 I knew how to use the phone, so I decide I’m going to call the magic number to get one sent to my house.  I call and the lady on the other end answers. 

Lady: Hello, this is Blahblah of blahblah company, how can I assist you?    5yo me: Um..yeah, i want one of those art things... Lady: Oh, um, okay.  Real quick, are you 18 years old? 5yo me (thinking, Duhh I sounded like I could be 18): Uh, yeah! Lady: Ok! Well, what is your Zipcode then? 5yo me: Um...um....one second.

I then run off to ask my dad what our zipcode is.  His response was just “Why do you need to know that, sweetie?” And i immediately panic because OH CRAP I’VE BEEN CAUGHT.  So I run back to the phone and quickly hang up.

honey, when you grow up you’re gonna do so well.

you get to be depressed, but not suicidal (yet)

nothing interesting will ever happen to you, but you can just pull from the lives of people more interesting than you to create your philosophies!

you get to start cutting but you’ll keep it wimpy